Like Causes without Rebels
by some blue december
Summary: Everything about it is wrong. He is everything she shouldn't want; she is everything he can't get. But sometimes being wrong isn't the worst that could happen.
1. So Us Is This

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_, "Re-Education (Through Labor)" by Rise Against, or "S.U.I.T" by Blindspott.

_"This fic/chapter is being posted as part of "Good Fic Day," an effort to raise the quality of writing here. We hope to encourage more writers to improve the quality of their own fan fiction - spell check, grammar check, keep the gang in character, outline, plot and don't use Mary Sues. Good fan fiction requires effort, and we would like to encourage other writers to rise to the challenge of producing better fan fiction, not only for our readers, but for S.E. Hinton, who created the wonderful book we are trying to honour."_

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**Chapter One**

_This is us and us is this,  
__better swing and pray you don't miss_

Motherfucking little bastard.

Curly glanced down the deserted hallway. "You sure?"

"Yeah, man. Three scratches running down the passenger and back door," George Silvers said, ignoring the fact that they were in the school hallway and lighting up a smoke.

"Fuck." Curly clenched his fists and kicked at the locker next to him.

"Any idea who did it?" George blew out a few smoke rings, unfazed by Curly's anger.

Curly scoffed. "Oh yeah, I got an idea."

He wasn't stupid; he knew exactly who'd gone out of their way to scratch his car and piss him off. There was no way to prove who had done it, but Scott Travis had hated him for a few years now, and Curly getting him thrown into reform school a few months back sure hadn't helped any. The scratches to his car coming mere days after Curly was released was no fucking coincidence.

It didn't seem to occur to Scott Travis that Curly had managed to get himself thrown in at the same time and for twice as long. The fucker was an idiot and Curly was going to make sure he paid.

"Pretty sure it was Travis."

George nodded. "Not surprising."

"Only he don't got a car." Curly began to pace, slapping his hands against his jeans pockets. "So any retaliation's gotta be something else."

"I say we jump him," George said, smoke trailing through his lips as he spoke.

Curly smirked. "'Course you do; you've hated the guy since about the time Maria started goin' with him."

"Could be that," George admitted.

"Picking a fight with him is what made this happen in the first place." Though he was tempted.

"So? The guy deserves it now just as much as he did then."

Curly more than agreed, but he was enjoying his freedom too much to be thrown back in juvie so soon. Last time had been an exception because last time Scott Travis had made a move on the girl Curly had been halfheartedly seeing at the time. For some reason, making a move on his girl hit Curly's pride a whole heap more than making scratches on his car.

But he couldn't let the bastard get away with keying his car.

"You could always go after Anita again." George was referring to Anita Mort, a girl in their study hall. "You know he's never gotten over her dumping him."

Curly gave a halfhearted shrug. Anita was what his rivalry with Scott Travis had started over and, if he were honest, he hadn't gotten over Anita ditching him, either. The girl was something else, and Curly had been stuck on her since they had slept together after a party a few years back. Unfortunately they had both been drunk at the time and she had told him to get lost every time he'd asked her out since.

Thinking back now, he couldn't blame her for it; he had been a bit of an idiot then. Even though he'd matured in the last year or so, he still wasn't thrilled with the possibility of being turned down by her again.

"You know where Travis is?" he asked.

"Ain't seen him all day."

"That's awful convenient," Curly muttered, leaning against the lockers behind him. "Bastard decided to come to school just to key my car?"

"Ya know, if goin' after Anita doesn't suit your fancy, you could always go for his sister."

Curly raised an eyebrow. "Beth? Hell, that broad's fooled around with half the guys I know - I ain't that desperate to get him back."

George shrugged. "Just an idea."

Not an idea Curly was willing to take. Beth was all right, but only in small doses.

"I don't think I'll be goin' there anytime -"

His words were cut short when he noticed none other than Scott Travis at the end of the hallway. Scowling, he watched the guy who had keyed his car amble into the bathroom without a care in the world. Curly silently thanked whatever was helping him out that he and George had gone unnoticed.

"You wanna do this?" George looked at Curly, stubbing out his smoke on the locker next to him.

Curly nodded, already starting down the hallway. "Fuck yeah."

George grinned, cracked his fingers, and followed. "Good. This bastard's been getting on my nerves since he got out of juvie."

Curly nodded, although he had a hard time imagining anyone getting on George's nerves, and placed his palm flat against the bathroom door.

"Ready?"

George nodded, still grinning.

Pushing the door open, Curly walked in and spotted Travis immediately. He was standing at the sink with his back to Curly, but his gaze met Curly's in the cracked mirror right away.

"Shepard. Silvers." Travis nodded.

Curly regarded him coolly. "Fuck face."

Travis turned, leaning against the sinks behind him and staring at Curly in amusement. "What's your problem now?"

"Other than the fact that you're breathin'?" Curly stepped forward when Travis said nothing. "Wanna tell me how the fuck my car ended up scratched to shit?"

"Dunno what you're talkin' about."

"Bullshit."

"Really, man. I've been fucking your sister all day and only just got -"

Travis was cut off by Curly's fist slamming into his jaw. Angel was no saint, but he knew for sure she wouldn't touch Travis. More than that, he knew her sham of a marriage had turned into more than anyone thought it would, but that didn't make Travis' words okay.

Travis grunted as his head whacked into the mirror behind him, and Curly only wished he'd hit him hard enough to break the glass. Not taking the time to dwell on it, Curly grabbed the other boy by the collar of his jacket and threw him up against the wall.

"What's your damn problem? Don't ya know how fucking stupid it was to go scratching my car?"

"Didn't do shit," Travis said.

"Oh yeah? I got people tellin' me otherwise." He was bluffing and Travis would try and call him on it, but he was too stupid to really know.

"Bull."

Travis kneed him in the gut before Curly could get another word out, and he realised then he'd underestimated the asshole. He hadn't used enough force for George to step in - though Curly knew he wanted to - but enough to wind him some. Groaning in pain, he pulled back and quickly sent a fist into Travis' nose. The satisfying crack made the hit to the stomach worth it.

Ignoring the pain in his abdomen, Curly watched Travis' hands fly to his face and clutch at his nose.

"You owe me," he said.

"You broke my fucking nose."

"No one gives two shits about your nose." Curly stretched his throbbing fingers. "You're gonna pay to get my car fixed."

Travis coughed out a laugh. "With what money, Shepard? You might be in a gang, but you can't make me give you money I don't fucking have."

Money. It was at the goddamn number one spot of things that frustrated him for the simple fact that he had none.

Things were different now; people weren't getting jumped for being poor, greasers weren't being forced to carry blades in their own neighbourhood, and most Socs weren't as prejudiced as they had once been, or even considered "Socs" anymore.

In fact, most of the rich guys liked to play nice and pretend they were friends with some of the less fortunate, while the prissy rich girls liked to flirt with greasy boys and have their taste of "dating" someone of a lower class. None of them came near Curly or any guy in any of the gangs, though. Prejudice against lower social classes might not exist so much these days, but gangs were still gangs.

The biggest thing that hadn't changed was the one thing that made Curly hate those rich kids just as much as always: money. He needed money, he wanted money, and they had it all.

It could have been Travis being a cocky bastard, it could have been his frustration at having a scratched paint job and no money to fix it, or it could have just been the lack of good fights in juvie, but Curly didn't bother answering Travis.

He hit the guy again, this time getting him back for the jab to his stomach. Travis didn't let his broken nose get in the way of anything, and pushed at Curly, wrestling him until they were scuffling on the floor.

"Hey! Clayton's on his way," George yelled through the open door.

When Travis faltered, Curly pushed the asshole off of him and stood. They eyed each other for a few moments until Vice Principal Clayton stormed in. Clayton stared at them both, taking in the blood and ripped T-shirts.

"Both of you, my office. Now."

XXXXX

Hands shoved deep in his pockets, Curly kicked at the tire of his car, more than a little fucked off by what was going on. The passenger side of his car was scratched to shit, and he'd just been given a two-day suspension. Which meant that not only did he not have the kind of money it took to fix this kind of bullshit, but Tim was going to hit the roof.

"Fuck it," he growled, kicking the tire again.

They were more than just scratches to him. They were countless delivery jobs he'd pulled off just to get the money to pay for the car. They were days of nagging at Tim to give him more work when he already knew he wouldn't get it because of his suspension. They were more money than he should have to spend just because some dickhead decided to piss him off. These were more than just scratches.

"Shit, man," George Silvers said from behind him. "They're even worse than I remember. That's gonna cost more than a penny to fix."

Curly sneered, leaning back on the car next to his and glaring at the scratches. "Ya think?"

"At least you got Travis pretty fucking good." George bent down inspect the damage, ignoring Curly's sarcasm. George was good like that; nothing rattled him.

Curly just shrugged. He had gotten Travis damn good, but a shitload of good that was going to do him now. Moving around the car he was leaning on, he lifted himself onto the hood, not giving two shits that the shiny Thunderbird was cleaner than anything he had owned in his life, and wondering how the fuck he was going to get money together.

"How pissed d'you think Tim'll be?" George asked.

Curly sighed. "Pissed won't cover Tim's mood when he -"

He stopped short as he eyed the two girls heading his way, one of whom was glaring at him as though she were ready to tear shreds off of him. He sighed as the girls reached him and stared down at the one he knew from his Spanish class - the one who was obviously annoyed with him. Thinking it through, he remembered her name was Lucy something-or-other.

He hardened his gaze. Were Lucy and her friend not looking at him as though he were the scum on the bottom of her fancy-ass shoe, he would have leered at her and made a suggestive comment. She wasn't the kind of girl he'd kick out of bed, but the look she gave him told him exactly what kind of girl she was and exactly what she thought of him.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, flipping her dark hair over her shoulder.

Curly raised an eyebrow. "What's your problem?"

"My problem?" Lucy moved her books to one arm and rested her hand on a jutted hip. Curly smirked; all she needed to do now was tap her foot and he'd have himself a real life princess. "My problem is that you're sitting on my car. My brand new, clean car."

He wasn't surprised that this was her car. She reeked of money, just like the sweet ride he was sitting on.

Bouncing his foot on the bumper, he looked at her, all innocence. "And?"

"And I don't like the idea of having to search through its entire contents to make sure the hood sitting on it didn't take anything," she said through gritted teeth.

He chuckled, unable to take offence. She was a stuck-up rich girl, but she sure had spunk. There weren't many girls out there who weren't his own kind that talked back like that. Even now, years after the Soc/greaser war had ended, those rich girls still acted as though Curly and his buddies were going to slice them open in the middle of the hallway.

But this one was something else.

"Huh, that's quite a smart mouth you got there," he said. "Maybe I should take you out sometime and you could put it to good use."

Her jaw dropped before she composed herself. "You need to learn how to speak to girls."

Curly ignored the pain in his stomach from his fight with Travis and jumped from the car, at last seeing some of the fear he was used to seeing in girls like her. He smirked, running his gaze over her body and letting it linger where a button had popped at the top of her blouse.

"Don't we have Spanish together?"

That got her.

"So?" she asked, a small frown on her face.

He shrugged. "No reason."

Her frown grew and he raised an eyebrow. He had learned from Tim long ago that sometimes the best way to fuck with someone was mentally. Fighting, physically or verbally, wasn't always going to get you the result you wanted and sometimes saying as little as possible was the way to go. In this case, letting the stuck-up little rich girl know that a greasy, no-good hood like him knew who she was bound to worry her more than any verbal sparring they could have.

Lucy pursed her lips at him. "I don't think we do," she said. "You must have me confused with someone else."

"No, I'm pretty sure I'm right." He racked his brain. "Second row, right? In front of Maria Phillips?"

Her jaw dropped again and she said nothing for a long moment. Finally her friend came closer and grabbed her arm.

"Lucy Jane," the blonde girl whispered, shooting furtive glances at Curly. "We should really get going."

Lucy Jane, that was it. Stuck-up name for a stuck-up bitch.

She nodded and glared at Curly. "You're right," she said to her friend. "We have much better places to be."

Curly smirked, glad he had at least managed to get under the bitch's skin. Narrowing her eyes at him one last time, she walked past him and toward her car. He turned to watch as she dug her keys out of her purse, unlocked her car, and climbed inside. Meeting her final glare with a large smirk, he gallantly stood aside as she sped out of her parking space.

"Who's that?" George asked.

Curly shrugged, watching the car leave the lot. "Dunno."

"She sure seemed to hate you."

"Of course she did," Curly said, turning back to his car. "She's a prissy little bitch who still thinks guys like us shouldn't be allowed to breathe the same air as her."

"You ain't lyin'," George said. "You ready to get outta here?"

And face Tim? Fuck no. But he sighed and nodded anyway; he had to get it over with eventually.

XXXXX

Lucy Jane Cooper knew the difference between good and bad.

If there was one thing that no one could call her, it was an idiot. She might have been called a pushover, a snob and a spoiled little rich girl - sometimes rightly so - but she had never been called stupid. She was a straight A student, after all. She knew the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, honourable and dishonourable.

It was right the way her parents provided for her and Harry. They had never been without anything they needed and always had everything they wanted. New cars, new clothes, new makeup - Lucy Jane had never gone without. It was just wrong that they spent so little time around the house that it took Harry a good half hour to warm up to his own father.

It was good that she was going away to college in six months and following in her dad's footsteps to become a lawyer, but it was bad that she had to leave Harry to do it. She would miss her little brother like crazy and he was the only reason she wanted to stick around.

It was honourable the way she and her friends volunteered as candy stripers during the summer, but she knew that the way most of them didn't care about the patients they read to or anything other than how their charity looked on their college applications was dishonourable.

She wasn't an idiot. She knew the difference between good and bad.

Good were the fries she'd had for lunch, bad was the sick feeling in her stomach they had given her from eating too many. Good was the new blouse she was wearing, bad was the fact that one of the top buttons had popped earlier that morning, showing more cleavage than she was used to. Good was her still-new-candy-apple red '66 Thunderbird she had seen glinting in the sunlight as she approached it in the parking lot, bad was the greasy, bloodied hood she had caught lounging on it.

She also knew that the way Curly Shepard had looked at her, talked to her, and treated her was not good. It was bad and she hated that she had even let him get to her that much. There was nothing special about someone like him. She knew his sort - gang members, hoods … _criminals_.

There was nothing good that could have come out of that encounter. There was nothing good that could come out of Curly Shepard knowing who she was.

She knew him, of course. Well, she knew _of_ him which wasn't a hard feat. She knew he was in his brother's gang and was proud of his name being attached to the gang. She knew that he was in fights every other week, and the scratches on his face and hands had proved that. She also knew that he had just gotten out of reform school and was not the kind of boy she wanted hanging around her car.

And if she hadn't known all of that before, she did now.

"I heard he's been in reform school eleven times," Emmy Banks had said as Lucy Jane had driven them home from school.

She didn't care how many times he had been sent away, so long as he didn't bother her again.

Slowing her Thunderbird, she turned into her driveway and stopped the car, looking up at the house looming over her. She supposed looming wasn't the most fitting word - her house was the nicest, cleanest, brightest house in the neighbourhood. There was nothing ominous about it.

In fact, there was not a single thing wrong with where she lived. It was a beautiful house with a beautiful garden and light blue shutters that were freshly painted twice a year. Inside was just as beautiful: high ceilings, shining floors, spacious rooms. The house was perfect, yet she despised the thought of going inside.

If she knew she could make it from the front door to her bedroom without interference then it would be wonderful, but there was no chance of that happening. It never did.

Sighing, she grabbed her books and climbed out of her car, locking the doors behind her.

Six and a half months until she would leave for college. So long as she continued repeating that to herself then she could deal with living at home. Her conversations with her dad sure helped. He always liked to talk about what she would do once she went away to college, suggesting a new profession to her every week before going into a long speech on the benefits of being a lawyer. She didn't need the speech - she had decided years ago she would be heading in that direction - but he still liked to tell her the perks of the job and she liked to hear them.

She was at the front door a minute later, hand resting on the doorknob and lip between her teeth. A quick breath and she pushed the door open.

"Lucy Jane? Is that you?"

Her mother was in the kitchen. Lucy Jane took another breath and continued in, face lighting up at the sight of Harry at the kitchen table. He was organising his paintings from preschool and stood on his chair when he saw her.

"Lucy Jane!"

Placing her books on the table, she sat next to him. "Hey, sweets. What have you got there?"

He shoved one of the paintings toward her. "This one is for you," he told her. "It's a duck."

Of course it was. She looked at the painting that looked like a green mess of stripes, and grinned. "It's beautiful."

Harry beamed at her praise.

"Lucy Jane," her mother said again.

Lucy Jane looked up at her mother who, unsurprisingly, had a dish cloth in one hand and oven cleaner in the other. She liked to clean, her mother. A lot.

"I'm home early because I had a free period this afternoon." Better to get that out of the way before she could be told off for it.

Constance Cooper raised an eyebrow at her daughter. "I don't care that you're early, Lucy Jane, I'm more concerned with the state of you."

Lucy Jane raised a hand to pat at her hair. "What's wrong with me?"

Constance glanced at Harry who continued chattering to himself and shuffling his paintings around.

"Your blouse is very unladylike," she said quietly.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Lucy Jane. With your shirt opened like that you look like one of those girls who live on the other side of town."

Unsure how to reply to that comment, Lucy Jane gathered the front of her shirt together and said nothing. It wasn't her fault the button had popped. Her mother sighed.

"You're becoming more like your sister everyday."

Lucy Jane bristled at the mention of Josie. "That's not true. I'm still here, aren't I?"

"For how long, Lucy Jane? How long until you decide to run away and join the circus like your sister did?"

Lucy Jane frowned. "I'm not going anywhere. Unlike Josie, I want to do well in school and go to college."

Constance said nothing as she turned back to the oven.

"Is Josie in the circus?" Harry asked.

Lucy Jane bit her lip, unsure how to respond. Their sister obviously wasn't in the circus, but trying to explain to Harry how their older sister - one he barely remembered - had run off with hippies wasn't something she wanted to do around her mother.

Picking up her book, she headed out of the kitchen.

"Make sure you sew up that button, Lucy Jane," her mother called to her back. "You look like a tramp."

Her hands were trembling and she was seething. It took all she had to not speak her mind to her mother the way she had done with Curly Shepard. She wanted to - glory how she wanted to - but she wasn't that stupid. Her mother might not have cared about a thing she did unless it might somehow embarrass her, but she was still her mother.

XXXXX

Feet propped up on the coffee table and wearing nothing but his jeans, Curly sat on the couch, examining his still bloodied knuckles when Tim walked through the front door. As slow as possible, he looked up, meeting Tim's gaze as Danny Harris came inside.

"Fuck, Curly, who'd you get into it with this time?"

Curly shrugged. "Scott Travis."

He knew what Tim's response would be, even before the words left his brother's mouth. In fact, he was sure he could have given himself the speech and saved himself Tim's anger.

"Scott fucking Travis? Damn it, Curly, you only just managed to get out from the last time that shithead got you sent away. You want it to happen again?"

"'Course not," Curly said, slouching lower in his seat. "But the fucker had it coming."

"That's what you said last time." Tim threw him a glare as he walked into the kitchen. "Did you at least do it somewhere private this time?"

Curly nodded. "Sure."

It was all lies, and Tim would find out eventually, but Curly was going to make the most of Tim not knowing.

"What'd Travis do?"

He looked at Danny who had sat next to him. "Fuckin' keyed my car. Hey, Tim got any jobs for me?"

Danny gave him a sly look. "Dunno. Ask him."

"You know as well as I do you talk him into most of the shit he lets me do."

Danny Harris had been Tim's best buddy since they were kids and had been Tim's right-hand man in the gang since forever. Curly was over being pissed about it, though; Danny did a good job and was almost always more fair to Curly than Tim was. Danny didn't hold his past mistakes against him the way Tim did.

"We might have some jobs coming up in a few weeks," Danny said. "But you won't get any work once Tim finds out you been suspended again."

Curly groaned. "How the fuck d'you know?"

"Mathews told me when I saw him at Anna's work."

Of course he did. Two-Bit Mathews had been standing with Ponyboy Curtis when Curly had told Pony about being suspended again. Had he thought it through, he would have realised Mathews would tell Danny's sister and the whole goddamn world.

He sighed and looked up, realising too late that Tim was back in the living room, staring at him.

"I uh, I got suspended again."

Tim raised an eyebrow. "No kiddin'."

"Aw, c'mon, Tim, it ain't no big deal."

Tim's eyes narrowed. "You need to sort your shit out, Curly. Last thing I need is you having to repeat school next year."

Curly said nothing; he and Tim'd had this argument before. There was no way he was going back to school next year, even if he did fail as a senior, and Tim couldn't make him. That's what he told himself, but he had been making an extra effort this year.

"How long for this time?" Tim asked.

Curly shrugged. "Two days; I go back on Tuesday."

Tim sighed and turned to Danny. "You ready to get outta here?"

Curly scowled as Tim and Danny left, not even trying to stop them. He had known Tim would start in on him about being suspended again, especially so soon after getting out of reform school, but he was more pissed that his brother would hold back jobs and money because of it.

Glancing back down at his hands, he found himself wishing he'd come across Travis again, and be given the excuse to relieve a little more of his anger.

_I've got my own as you can see,  
__you're not alone in hating me_

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**A/N:** As usual, beta'd by _Riley'sMomma_. Dedicated to my special friend _the perfect imperfection_ because it was her birthday yesterday and because she is awesome.

Reviews and constructive feedback are appreciated :)


	2. Time's Come to Pay Your Dues

**Disclaimer:** _The Outsiders_ is property of S.E. Hinton, and _Hair of the Dog_ is by Nazareth.

**A/N:** In my excitement to post chapter one, I forgot to mention that this does tie in to all my other fics. Not in any huge way, but if you've read _Born to Run_, then you might recognise some of the characters that appear. Like Danny Harris ;)

* * *

**CHAPTER TWO**

_Talkin' jivey, poison ivy  
__You ain't gonna cling to me_

Lucy Jane's eyes were glazed as she nodded along to whatever it was Emmy was saying. They were seated in a booth at Jay's and she was ninety-nine percent sure that whatever was coming out of her best friend's mouth had something to do with Simon Kingston, her boyfriend of three weeks.

It wasn't as if Lucy Jane wasn't happy for Emmy - on the contrary, she was incredibly pleased Emmy had at last managed to snag the boy she had been in love with since the sixth grade - but hearing about him every time the two girls talked was tiresome. His hair, his car, his amazing lips … the list went on and Emmy never stopped.

Lucy Jane didn't complain, though. Emmy was about the only girl in their group of friends she could have an actual conversation with … a conversation that wasn't about makeup or clothes or boys. A conversation that wasn't completely superficial.

Proof of this was next to Lucy Jane in the form of Joanna McKenna and Heather Tolan. Lucy Jane wasn't sure she would call them friends - the only person in their group she considered a real friend was Emmy - but they were a part of her social circle and it was expected of her to hang around with them, to be seen with them. She did quite like them and had no problem spending her time with them; they just had an awful habit of talking about other people … a lot. They were the biggest gossips Lucy Jane had ever come across.

Of course, all Emmy had been able to talk about the last few weeks was a certain boy whom she fancied herself in love with, but Lucy Jane figured Emmy deserved it after waiting years for Simon to notice her.

"And his hands," Emmy said for what must have been the fifth time that night. "Goodness, Lucy Jane, they are amazing."

Lucy Jane forced a smile and reminded herself that however often Emmy repeated herself about Simon's perfect fingernails, listening to it was not only better than listening to Joanna and Heather talking about how good-looking Ponyboy Curtis was - for a hood - but also much better than being at home. Home was not at the top of Lucy Jane's list of places to be.

"Oh, Lucy Jane, did I tell you what I happened to overhear the other day?" Joanna asked, forcing Lucy to say something for the first time in half an hour.

"What's that?"

Joanna gave her a sly smile. "That Roger wants to take you out this weekend."

"Really?" Lucy knew her voice held no excitement to it, but Roger McKenna just wasn't her type. She didn't know what her type _was_, but she did know that she did _not_ want to go out with Joanna's twin brother.

"You could at least pretend to be excited," Emmy said.

"I could but I won't. You know I don't like Roger that way."

"What's not to like?" Emmy asked, turning in her seat a little. "He's sweet, kind, funny, and rich."

Lucy Jane shrugged. Emmy was right; Roger was all those things and much more. He just wasn't what she wanted.

"You could at least give him a chance," Joanna said. "He's been sweet on you for so long now."

_So long _wasn't true and they all knew it. Roger had only asked Lucy Jane out a few weeks ago and, though she had been flattered, she had said no right away. It appeared to Lucy Jane that Roger was either too persistent or hadn't yet got the hint that she just wasn't interested.

"Or, I could not waste either of our times and not go out with him," she said. "I'm sorry, Joanna, I know he's your brother, but I just don't like him as anything more than a friend."

Joanna shrugged. "That's fine, but if you one day realise he is your soul mate and it's too late, don't say I didn't warn you."

Lucy Jane just nodded as Joanna went back to gossiping with Heather. Turning, she gave Emmy a quick smile.

"Tell me more about Simon," she said, knowing she really didn't need to ask.

Emmy grinned and started talking about how soft Simon's hair was, and Lucy Jane once again found herself doing her best to pay attention. It wasn't easy. Not only was hearing about Simon no longer the most interesting of conversations, but her mind kept going back to her mother.

She couldn't help wondering if her mother had always been as paranoid about the family's reputation as she was now. She couldn't remember her being the this way until Josie had started rebelling. Lucy Jane's older sister was twenty, and after promising Lucy Jane she would call at least once a month, had taken off in some guys flower power van eight months ago and hadn't been seen since.

Lucy Jane envied her courage, even if life as a hippie wasn't something she could fathom.

It hadn't made things easy on Lucy Jane, though. As much as being ignored gave her a lot of freedom, it was still insulting. She liked to think she was over being hurt by her mother's lack of interest, but she couldn't deny that it bothered her. She wasn't supposed to feel so much anger toward her own mother, yet so much _nothing_ at the same time. Only being spoken to when she was in danger of being an embarrassment was frustrating, at best.

"Luce? Are you all right?" Emmy asked, breaking into Lucy Jane's thoughts..

She nodded, pushing her mother out of her mind. "I'm fine; does anyone want anything else to drink?"

Joanna and Heather shook their heads, but Emmy nodded.

"Another Coke would be great."

Climbing out of the booth, Lucy Jane made her way to the counter and ordered two Cokes. The general ruckus of teenage boys coming from the direction of the front doors had her turning to see who had come in, and frowning in the direction of Curly Shepard; she couldn't help but remember the things he had said to her and she was glad she hadn't seen him at school since.

She turned her back to the boys behind her and collected her drinks, muttering a thanks to the girl behind the counter as she picked up the large glasses. Wondering if the conversation at the table was worth not being at home, she readied herself for the gossip and turned away from the counter. She didn't make it one step before knocking into a hard body and spilling her soda everywhere. Ignoring her wet blouse and the cold drink seeping into it, she looked up, ready to apologise. Instead, she found Curly Shepard's hard glare aimed right at her and her words got stuck in her throat.

"What the fuck?"

"It - it was an accident," she said.

He raised an eyebrow. "An accident? You fucking spilt Coke all over me."

She looked where he was pointing and sucked in a breath; the front of his pants was soaked. Looking back into his eyes and fighting laughter, she considered pointing out that the Coke had gone all over herself also, but couldn't bring herself to do it - not with the way he was looking at her and not with the way he had acted toward her a few days ago.

Lucy Jane stayed silent.

A blond boy behind Curly leaned forward to say something in his ear while keeping his eyes on Lucy Jane, his voice loud enough for anyone standing nearby to hear.

"That's the same broad from the parking lot the other day. The one with the Thunderbird."

A look of realisation came into Curly's eyes, and Lucy Jane smirked in satisfaction. It was clear he hadn't really known who she was the other day. Her smirk faded when Curly's eyes took on a strange gleam.

"Yeah," he muttered. "Lucy Cooper, right?"

She narrowed her eyes.

"Spanish class, right in front of Maria Phillips."

"It's Lucy Jane," she snapped, without thinking.

Curly smirked. "Lucy _Jane_. I'll be sure to remember that."

Taking a breath, she forced some words out of her mouth. "You owe me two Cokes."

He raised an eyebrow. "You're kidding, right? You spilt them all over me … if anything you owe me some new jeans."

"Yeah." She gave him a once over with a look of disdain on her face. "Because those jeans are so obviously new."

His eyes were small slits as he stared at her and she watched, remembering all too late that he was a gang member as his hand went to his back pocket. She pushed that thought out of her head; surely he wouldn't harm a girl, gang member or not.

Hands tucked into his back pockets, his eyes returned to their normal size and he gave her a crooked smile. She swallowed, glaring at him as he gave her the same once over she had given him but with more of an appreciative look than one of disdain.

"There's some napkins behind you there," he said in a low voice. "You could always help pat me dry … or I could help you."

"Oh!" Lucy Jane was at a loss for words. She had expected the look he was giving her, but she had never expected that kind of rude remark from him. "You're disgusting."

He shrugged and smirked. "Next time watch where the fuck you're going."

Looking away from him, she glanced at her friends. Joanna and Heather were still in deep discussion, but Emmy was standing close and waiting to see what she would do. Lucy Jane nodded toward the door.

"Let's get out of here," she said.

Setting the glasses back on the counter, she pushed past the greaser in the leather jacket, ignoring the smirk that followed her.

XXXXX

Despite what Tim thought about Curly and school, the younger Shepard didn't mind it that much. He wasn't smart like Pony Curtis, and he wasn't there just for kicks like Mathews, but he sure as hell wasn't an idiot like his buddy Jack Hennings. Though he'd much rather be doing gang stuff, he did want to graduate - almost as much as Tim seemed to want him to.

He might have missed more school than he should have - what with all his suspensions and slacking off - but it wasn't as if he intentionally tried to do it. As great as sleeping in and not getting up for school each day was, sitting around the house with no company and nothing to do wasn't how he wanted to spend his days. He'd much rather get up and drive around, doing jobs for Tim. Or, if that failed, get up and go to school, which he figured was why he had taken to making the most of his first few days back after his most recent suspension.

Curly didn't know what it was about Lucy Jane Cooper, but over the last few days he had found himself doing everything possible to get under her skin. It had definitely made his days at school more enjoyable than usual. He would wink at her when he walked into their shared Spanish class, bump into her and call her a nasty name in the hall, and, what seemed to get to her most, make the odd remark about how she looked particularly fuck-able that day.

If he were honest with himself, he couldn't stand the bitch. She was stuck-up in a world that was more welcoming. She was prejudiced in a school that was full of people who no longer cared about that kind of thing. Most annoying of all, she was still a bitch of a Soc when being a Soc had gone out of style over a year ago.

He looked up from his seat as she walked into the near empty classroom and he didn't miss the glare she sent in his direction.

"Hey, Lucy Jane," he drawled, leaning back and rocking his chair on its back legs.

She ignored him and walked to her seat.

"That sure is a pretty skirt you're wearin' today," he continued, letting his eyes linger on the tight fabric.

She continued to ignore him, sitting in her seat and opening her books. She sure was a looker, he couldn't deny that, but her stuck-up attitude almost made her ugly. He wasn't into bitches like that. Sure, he had tried it with and been turned down by Anita Mort more than once, but she wasn't a snob, she just didn't like him.

Class began and flew by with Curly taking a minimal amount of notes. Studying Spanish wasn't something he could be bothered dealing with, not when he was still trying to find a way to fix his paint job and get back in Tim's good books for some work.

Some work and maybe a little respect from Tim while he was at it.

He'd always looked up to Tim, ever since he was a kid, but things had begun to change when Curly had last gone back into the reformatory. The look of exasperation on Tim's face when Curly had been sent away was something he'd had plenty of time to dwell on. Tim wasn't supposed to look at Curly like that, not when Curly had spent all his years looking up to Tim with nothing but pride.

It had been while lying awake one night, thinking about that look, that he had realised Tim's lack of faith in him - realised that, despite how much faith Curly had in Tim, the feeling wasn't mutual.

He had realised that Tim concentrated far too hard on Curly's weaknesses rather than his strengths. Tim never acknowledged when Curly did good and, despite the frustration in his thoughts toward Tim, he wanted to be acknowledged.

It didn't matter how much that made him sound like a pussy. Tim was still his older brother and Curly would always look up to him for that reason alone; he had spent a lot of time looking after Curly and Angela as kids, after all. In fact, he was sure he'd always look up to Tim in one way or another, and continue trying to make Tim see the good in him. But Curly wasn't a kid anymore, and he wasn't the only one with weaknesses.

As the end of class bell rang Curly glanced back at Lucy Jane to see her talking to some redhead. Grabbing his tattered notebook, he climbed out of his seat and slowly made his way toward her.

"Of course, it's brand new and shouldn't be acting up like this, that's why Daddy's so angry about it. I've only had this car for a few months and it's already falling apart," Lucy Jane said, as Curly followed her out of the classroom.

Curly raised an eyebrow but stayed silent. He knew what type of car she drove, and his interest was caught.

"He said he might not even bother getting it fixed," she continued. "He said he's too angry too deal with it and he might just buy me a whole new car."

Curly tensed. He hated her and all her rich little friends. He couldn't even afford to fix the scratches in his paint and there her daddy was, ready to buy her a whole new car to replace her already new car. Picking up his pace, he strode past her and knocked into her hard enough for the redhead to have to help her keep her balance.

"Bitch," he muttered, giving her the glare he used on guys he was about to fight.

She gaped at him for a moment but he was gone before she got the chance to respond. He wasn't going to stand around and listen to that shit, not when he was having enough trouble talking Tim into giving him some work, let alone finding a way to get his car fixed.

He decided then that Lucy Jane could go to hell, and that he wasn't going to back down in getting Tim to give him some work until he had the money he needed.

XXXXX

Lucy Jane wasn't sure what his deal was, but Curly Shepard had obviously taken an aversion to her after their encounter in the parking lot. That was the only explanation for the relief she felt at being home on Friday afternoon.

Usually school was her escape. She enjoyed learning, her friends could be very distracting, and she wasn't at home with her mother. Compared to spending every day at home with her cleaning, nagging, ridiculously uptight mother, school was paradise.

But after spending four days being harassed by Curly Shepard, home was what she wanted. Spending every day with her mother even sounded better than going back to school on Monday and dealing with more of Curly's taunts.

Because that's what they were - taunts. He was harassing her, mocking her, teasing her. It seemed to her as though he was doing everything in his power to get to her, and it was working. As much as she tried to ignore him, she tensed, she glared back … she showed her absolute outrage at his disgusting words.

All three of which had been done not half an hour ago when she stood in the middle of the school hallway, meeting his angry glare with one of her own.

All because she had bumped into him again. It wasn't as though she had done it on purpose; one encounter with a gang member was more than enough for her, and the second one at Jay's a few nights back had been her limit. But she didn't have any kind of good luck and she had bumped into him … for a second time.

Surely that wasn't as big a deal as he made it out to be. Really, if anyone should have been bothered by it, it was her. Not only was Curly Shepard big enough to knock her over with a well placed nudge, but she was sure the amount of dirt and grime on his leather jacket wasn't doing her cashmere sweaters any good.

Lucy Jane glanced at the light blue sweater she had on and frowned as Curly's most recent suggestive comment came back to her.

"Cold, baby?" he had asked, making an obvious point of leering at her chest.

She tried to ignore him, just like she had every other time he had been near her. He didn't deserve her time or comebacks. She hadn't done anything wrong. He was the greaser who did his best to make her uncomfortable. All she had ever done was bump into him … twice.

"Seriously, do you have balance problems or something?"

Lucy looked up, still frowning from his words. "Why are you being such a jerk?'

"Why do you keep bumping into me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why does it even matter? I'm basically half your size; I'm sure you barely feel it."

"Whether or not I feel it ain't the point," he sneered. "The point is you should watch where you're fucking going."

"And maybe you should watch your manners."

"Watch my manners?" Curly raised an eyebrow.

"Yes. You're always giving me nasty looks and saying rude things to me." She paused, realising something. "And you're always shoving me and I _know_ it's on purpose."

He smirked. "You sure take a whole heap of notice of the things I do."

Lucy Jane was at a loss for words and shook her head in exasperation. "Good Lord."

Curly laughed; a cruel sounding laugh that made her nervous. "Maybe if you weren't such a stuck-up bitch I wouldn't have to make a point of helpin' you realise you and your friends ain't the only people in this fucking place."

"What?" she gasped.

"You better fuckin' watch where you're goin' next time," he muttered, pushing past her and intentionally bumping into her again.

She had been too shocked to reply.

Now, pulling into the driveway with Emmy in the passenger seat, she figured it was for the best.

"You need to remember to ignore him," Emmy had said, and Lucy Jane completely agreed.

Ignoring him was the only way to go. Reacting to his words and looks only set him off, gave him exactly what he wanted: a reaction from her.

A few minutes later, she and Emmy were inside and heading for the kitchen. She spotted Harry sitting at the kitchen table and a happy sigh of relief fell from her lips.

"Where's Mom?" she asked.

Harry shrugged, but Lucy noticed the postcard sitting on the table. Picking it up, she quickly read what Josie had to say about some protest she had recently been to and a Doors concert she and her friends had scammed their way into.

"Wow. A Doors concert?" Emmy breathed, reading over her shoulder.

Lucy Jane had never truly appreciated her sister's life as a hippie until that moment, and was disgustingly jealous that she had been to a concert. Not just any concert, but the Doors. She made a mental note to ask her about it when she called in a few days. They had a set, once-a-month phone date that Josie never forgot about, no matter where she was. Thankfully, it just so happened to coincide with a standing dinner date her parents had.

"Your sister is so lucky," Emmy said.

Sighing, Lucy Jane shoved the post card inside one of her notebooks, knowing her mother wouldn't miss it.

"What are you colouring?" she asked Harry, placing her books on the table and sitting next to him.

"My girlfriend."

Emmy giggled, and Lucy Jane raised an eyebrow.

"You have a girlfriend?"

"Uh-huh."

"Oh. Well, what's her name?"

Harry didn't answer; just shot her a look that even at three years old asked her if she really thought he was going to tell her about his girlfriend. Frowning slightly, she stood for a glass of water.

"He doesn't even want to tell me her name," she whispered to Emmy.

"Well, when your little brother's love life is going better than your own, it's probably better not hearing the details," Emmy said with a grin.

Lucy Jane agreed.

__

Now you're messin' with a  
A son of a bitch

* * *

**A/N: **Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, and thanks _so much_ for all the reviews! I really appreciate them :)


	3. Slap, Slap, Kiss

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or _Slap, Slap, Kiss_ from TV Tropes ;)

**A/N:** Rated T for language and sexual references.

* * *

**CHAPTER THREE**

She was too easy.

Monday morning had started with a glare from Lucy Jane before Curly had stepped one foot inside the school. Meeting her gaze, Curly had responded with a wink and a large grin. He honestly hadn't thought about her all weekend, but the moment he had seen her and her narrowed eyes, he found himself more than happy to continue doing his best to piss her off.

Tuesday it had been raining, and rain meant silly girls who didn't want to ruin their hair by running to their cars after school. Curly had walked out the back door, eyed a waiting Lucy Jane as he lit up a cigarette, and stopped right in front of her. After offering what he thought was polite small talk and getting no answer, he took a deep drag of him smoke and casually blew out a few smoke rings. He truly thought she might hit him when one of them ended up in her face. Instead, she called him dirty hood and walked on out into the rain.

He had skipped school on Wednesday, having quickly jumped for the job Tim had reluctantly offered him the night before. It hadn't been much - just staking out a couple of restaurants and reporting back to Tim in the morning. He'd been exhausted by the time he had rolled home Wednesday morning, but Tim had promised him some cash when the job was completed and that more than made up for it. Tim hadn't been too keen on Curly doing the job, but Danny hadn't been able to do it, and talked Tim into letting Curly do it. There weren't many who could talk Tim into anything, so Curly was more than grateful.

On Thursday he'd had one hell of an argument with Lucy Jane in the hall during lunch. That argument had caused him to realise his bothering her wasn't just to get on her nerves, but that he rather enjoyed her when she was riled up. He wasn't entirely sure what it was, but when she began yelling at him for being an idiot who liked to push around little kids, something had stirred inside of him at the way her face had flushed and her eyes had heated up.

That had been quite the new development. He had known she was cute enough, but while arguing with her in the halls he realised just how true his comments about her being fuck-able were. After spending the last week making suggestive comments toward her, he was beginning to realise he wouldn't turn her away if she decided to put any of his suggestions into action.

Now it was Friday. Maria Phillips was away sick, and following a particularly nasty glare from Lucy that morning, Curly found himself sitting in the seat behind her during Spanish. The look on her face when she had first walked in to find him directly behind her usual chair was one he had been running over since.

Glad their Spanish teacher was letting them work alone, Curly leaned back in his chair and tapped his pencil against his desk. Lucy Jane sure was taking up an awful lot of his time and he couldn't help but wonder why.

Sure, she was good-looking enough, but he'd seen prettier girls around, girls like Anita Mort. And he'd definitely met nicer girls, too. Lucy Jane was a bitch and treated him as though he were the scum of the earth. The looks she gave him and the tone of disgust in her voice made it obvious that she thought he was nothing more than a hood.

Yet he still did his best to bug her.

He would quite happily fuck her, but he wasn't so hard up that he was going to waste his time acting as though he were still in kindergarten to get a pretty girl to pay attention to him. He was, however, giving Lucy Jane a lot more attention than she deserved.

Shuffling up in his seat, he leaned forward and didn't miss the way her small body tensed with his movements. He smirked, knowing she was fully aware of him sitting behind her. Reaching forward, he twirled a piece of her hair around the end of his pencil.

She sat up straighter, whole body tense as she stiffly continued writing notes into her notebook. Curly pulled back, smirking as he watched her. She was easily annoyed and he liked it. Spinning his pencil between his fingers, he leaned forward again, this time coiling a piece of her hair around his finger.

Glory it was soft. Softer than any hair he had felt before, and he couldn't help but imagine it spread over his thighs while her head was in his lap. He licked his lips and bit back a moan, cursing himself for letting his imagination get the better of him. She was sexy and he wanted to fuck her, but there were plenty of girls like that.

He tugged lightly on the strand wrapped around his finger and leaned closer still.

"Lucy Jane," he whispered.

She ignored him.

"Lucy Jane." He tried again with a slightly harder tug and she still ignored him.

Glancing to his left, he saw the smirk his buddy Jack Hennings was giving him and returned it with one of his own. He looked back at Lucy, letting her hair drop from his finger and sitting back with an audible sigh.

So he had to up his game; he could do that. But as he stretched his legs and began tapping out a rhythm with his feet on her chair, he realised just how childish he was being. He had just decided against acting as though he were in kindergarten to get this girl's attention, but there he was, pulling her hair and kicking at her chair.

He sat up straight again, frowning at the body in front of him and knowing Jack was still watching him. He didn't want to act like an idiot just to rile up Lucy Jane, but he couldn't seem to stop. Pissing her off sure was fun and her reactions were hot, but it was pointless and not worth the trouble he was putting in.

Of course, these rational thoughts didn't stop his mouth from opening again or his fingers from going back towards her hair.

"Lucy," he whispered again. Leaning as close as the desk in front of him would allow, he hoped the shortening of her name would get to her the way it had in Jay's.

Her shoulders rose and fell with the deep breath she took, and her hand stopped mid-word on her notebook. Curly was glad to have some kind of obvious reaction, but disappointed when she shifted in her chair and went back to her book.

This was frustrating. Glancing at the teacher, who was too engrossed in her book to notice a damn thing, he sighed loudly again.

"Lucy." He drawled out her name in a stage whisper. "Lucy Jane."

She finally snapped, and it was even better than Curly had hoped.

"What?" she asked, standing from her chair and spinning to face him. "What do you _want_?"

He blinked, leaned back in his chair, and kept his face black. "Nothing."

"Nothing? _Nothing?_" She was yelling now and Curly had to fight back a smirk as the rest of the class turned to look.

Slipping his hands into his jeans pockets, he shrugged. "I'm not sure I know what you're talking about."

"You kept touching me!" she yelled. "You're acting like a child. Why can't you just leave me alone?"

"Lucy Jane!" Their teacher, Miss Perry, was standing up, staring at Lucy Jane in shock. "My word, Lucy Jane, what has gotten into you?"

Curly was desperate to offer to be exactly what was getting into her, but kept his mouth shut as Lucy turned to face their teacher.

"Miss Perry, he's harassing me," she stated, point directly at Curly.

Curly held a hand over his heart and did his best to look offended. "I most certainly am not."

"You are!" She was yelling again, making wild hand gestures, and glaring at him. "You've been hassling me for almost two weeks now, and I want it to stop."

"Miss Cooper, I do insist you sit back down," Miss Perry said, looking alarmed at one of her most well-behaved pupils being so disruptive.

"No," Lucy Jane snapped, still glaring at Curly. "You need to leave me alone."

He raised an eyebrow. "Why's that? You startin' to like me?"

"Mr. Shepard -"

"No, I am not starting to like you," she continued, ignoring the teacher. "I hate you and as far as I'm concerned you can drop dead!"

"That is enough!" Miss Perry finally yelled.

Curly kept his eyes on Lucy Jane until she looked away from him and at to their teacher.

"Detention! Both of you."

"What?" Lucy Jane's shock was obvious. "You can't give me _detention_."

"Why not?" Curly asked. "You too good to sit with a bunch of hoods?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Yes, actually."

He had to remind himself that it wasn't some stupid jock he was arguing with, and that jumping over the desk between them to beat the crap out of her wouldn't be the best of ideas.

"That's enough," Miss Perry said again. "Both of you to the principal's office. Now."

Shrugging, Curly picked up his notebook and nodded at Jack, who was giving him a wide grin.

"Sure thing, miss," he said.

He took one last look at Lucy Jane as he walked past her, and made sure she knew she had gone too far this time. He might very well be happy enough to fool around with her, but if she wasn't careful, she'd end up in a whole world of trouble.

XXXXX

Having seen Curly and his buddies arrive at Jay's a while ago, Lucy Jane had been doing her best to avoid him. Her entire body was tense, and the only thing stopping her from getting up and telling him exactly what she thought of him was the nagging voice in her head - the nagging voice that sounded alarmingly like her mother telling her not to make a fool of herself.

Emmy and Simon were no real help, either. She supposed she could hardly blame them; she had crashed their date after all.

"He sure seems to have it in for you," Simon said, as Emmy finished telling him about Lucy Jane's detention.

"More like they have it in for each other," Emmy said.

Lucy Jane raised an eyebrow. "What on earth does that mean?"

Emmy shrugged and played with the straw in her glass. "Just that you don't exactly ignore him when he tries something. You always fight back."

"Because he's being a jerk and harassing me."

"Maybe, but you could just ignore him. He'd get sick of it eventually."

Emmy was right, and ignoring Curly had been her plan all week. It was a shame that sticking to it wasn't as simple as planning to do it. Sighing, she finished off her coffee and looked at Emmy and Simon, who were _this_ close to making out in the booth.

"Do you guys want another drink?" she asked them.

"No thanks," Simon said, not taking his eyes off of Emmy.

Resisting the urge to grimace, she slid out of the booth, narrowed eyes automatically seeking out Curly.

She found him on the other side of the room, flirting with some dishwater blonde and - it would seem - having not even noticed Lucy Jane was there. That was good, it was exactly what she wanted, and she headed to the counter to order a Coke.

She turned while she waited, doing her absolute best to know exactly where Curly was so she could avoid him like the plague. But of course life just wasn't that fair and he was standing right in front of her, Coke in hand and crooked smirk on his face. She almost wanted to cry at how unfair this was.

"What do you want?" she asked, not sounding at all like the polite young lady her mother had brought her up to be.

He shrugged, standing much too close for comfort. "Just wanted to say hi."

Her hands clenched at her sides. There was no way he _just wanted to say hi_. They weren't friends; they didn't _just say hi_ to each other. Especially not after the argument they'd had that very day. If anything, he was probably out to bother her even more. She tensed at the thought and tried to think of something to say - something that would make him leave.

"Your friend's waiting on you," she said, glancing at the blonde, who was watching them. "You should really get back to her."

His smirk grew. "Gosh, Lucy Jane, you almost sound jealous."

Oh Lordy. "I most certainly am not _jealous_."

"Oh, come on, Lucy Jane. I could show you a real good -"

He stopped when one of his friends walked by and clapped him on the back. Lucy Jane wasn't stupid; she knew there was no way his friend had made him stumble the way he did. It was just too bad he was already standing close and she had no room to move back.

"Oh!" She gasped as his cold drink seeped into her skin. "You've got to be joking."

"It was an accident."

"An _accident_?"

Curly nodded. "Well, yeah. But hey, there's one of those Cokes I owe ya."

His words rang in her ears and it took a few second for her to answer.

"Good Lord. You really have in it for me, don't you?"

His eyes flashed with false amusement. "Excuse me?" he asked, almost sounding polite.

She scoffed. "You know exactly what I mean. You're always picking on me, and this isn't the first I've had soda down my front because of you." She indicated to the brown stain on her blouse, knowing the light pink material was turning somewhat see-through but too angry to care.

"Like I said, it was a fucking accident."

"You got me a detention!" she yelled, sick of his I-don't-care attitude.

"Takes two to tango, baby," he sneered. "I wasn't the one yelling in the middle of Spanish class or ignoring the teacher."

She truly didn't know what his problem was. She had spilt Coke on him once and he had turned it into an all-out war. He sure was causing her constant headaches, and she was at her breaking point.

She turned to the guy sitting at the counter next to her, grabbed his glass, and threw the contents at Curly. She recognised the liquid as banana milkshake as it splattered over his chest.

It seemed as though the whole diner went silent.

"Fucking bitch." Curly's voice was low and not quite the outburst she had expected.

She looked at him with narrowed eyes, surprised at her own actions, but unable to keep the smirk off of her face. The yellow liquid that was covering his black T-shirt made him look _real_ tough.

"That's it," some guy said from behind the counter. "I tolerate enough from hoods like you - I want you both out. Now."

Lucy Jane turned to look at the old guy. "What? But I didn't even do anything!"

"Didn't you just throw a perfectly good milkshake at him?"

She spluttered, unable to deny it.

"And didn't he throw his Coke at you?"

Curly claimed it was an accident, but she refused to go down alone so she nodded.

"Fuck off," Curly yelled. "It was an accident."

"Out!" the guy said. "Your friends are welcome to stay, but the two of you are to leave right this minute."

Lucy Jane gave one final glare at Curly as he stormed out of the restaurant. Turning to face her friends, she gaped at Emmy and Simon's timid smiles and Emmy's promises to call her later. She couldn't believe it; they were letting her leave by herself.

Shaking her head, she turned on her heel and walked outside. She spotted Curly as soon as the cold air hit her face, and all her anger came out at him as he leaned against the wall, smoking a cigarette.

"You're such a jerk!" she cried, walking over to him.

He glanced at her before standing upright. "I don't need your shit," he mumbled, smoke bobbing from between his lips. He took off down the side of Jay's and she followed.

"You think I need yours? Seriously, all you've done in the last few weeks is hassle me for no reason whatsoever."

"No reason?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder at her as he walked. "You mean other than the fact that you're a bitch and deserve every bit of trouble you get?"

"How dare you say that to me? You don't even know me."

He stopped and turned to her, causing her to stop short. "I don't need to know you," he said, pointing the fiery tip of his cigarette at her. "I know your kind and I know they're nothin' worth me giving a damn about."

She rolled her eyes at his hypocrisy; if there were ever a kind that weren't worth giving a damn about, it was his.

"Right," she said. "Good thing I don't want or need you to give a damn about me. However, I also don't need your stupid stunts that get me detention and thrown out of Jay's."

"This is quite the princess tantrum you're havin' for a detention you got all by yourself."

Her eyes grew wide. "You can't actually be denying that you did it on purpose? I saw your smirk! I saw the look you gave your buddy, and I know you were spending the entire class doing your best to annoy me."

He smirked and flicked away his cigarette butt. "You sure like to flatter yourself, don't ya?"

She clenched her fists; she knew what he was doing, knew that he was goading her, just like he had done that morning. Unfortunately, she also knew it was going to work … just like it had that morning.

"You jerk! You goddamn jerk. How dare you keep doing this? How dare you get me into trouble like you did? Do you have any idea what that's going to do to my school record? You might not have a problem with getting suspended every other week, but I'm a straight A-student; I can't go around getting detentions and being sent to the principal's office. Especially from my one class I have trouble with!"

She was out of breath by the time she had finished stared at him, waiting for a response.

She didn't get one though. He just stood in front of her, giving her a look she had never been given before with a look in his eyes she could never name and looking at her in a way that almost made her blush. None of that made sense though. None of it. Not even a tiny bit.

After a few seconds that felt like minutes, he stepped towards her, and instead of moving away like she should have, she stood where she was. Her heart began pounding, her breaths were still coming in puffs, and her palms started sweating. Had it been any other boy, she would have thought he wanted to kiss her.

That's why - that _had_ to be why - when his gaze flickered down to her mouth for a second, eyes turning a shade darker when he looked at her again, she couldn't help but lick her lips, nervously wetting them.

There was still a good four feet between them, but it felt like mere inches with how quickly he reached her. She didn't know what had come over her, but she did know that when he stepped up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against him, she didn't pull back.

His lips were probably the softest thing she had ever felt, even as they attacked her own in a demanding way that left her breathless. He pushed her up against the wall next to them and her head smacked against it painfully, but his hands lifting her body up against his took her mind off of the pain quick enough.

Tangling her fingers in his curls as they kissed roughly, she couldn't make her mind work. All she could concentrate on was the feel of his lips, the taste of his mouth, and the amazing feeling of his hard body against hers. He felt better than he should have.

She shivered in his arms, knowing it was wrong, knowing he was not the kind of person she should be kissing, and knowing it was probably the biggest mistake of her life … but she also knew that if it ever happened again, she would let it.

Moaning into his mouth and getting a thrill she had never felt before as his body trembled against her own, she kissed him hungrily, not even caring about the taste of smoke on his tongue or the milkshake on his shirt that was seeping onto her own. Never before had she not wanted a kiss to stop the way she didn't want this kiss to stop.

But it did, and suddenly.

It was as if she realised what exactly she was doing. She had known the whole time, but when she truly _realised_ she was kissing Curly Shepard - hood, greaser, _criminal_ - she realised just how wrong it was.

She pushed, struggling against him until he pulled back. He let her go quickly, and she stumbled slightly, having to regain her own balance. Looking up at him, she knew that he knew why she had stopped, but couldn't quite bring herself to feel bad about it. It wasn't as if he looked bothered by it - more amused if anything.

But whether he was amused about why she had stopped kissing him, or the fact that she had been kissing him in the first place, she wasn't sure.

Pulling herself together, she glared at him. "Jerk."

She turned and left, keeping her back rigid and fists clenched. He was watching her as she walked away - she was positive of it. But no matter how angrily she had pushed him away, how calm she might look on the outside, or how vehemently she promised herself to never let that happen again, she couldn't control the unsteady beating of her heart or the warmth spreading throughout her body.

**

* * *

**

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, and to everyone else who told me to stop stressing about this chapter. The _Slap, Slap, Kiss_ title is a bit of a joke, but it seems to fit the chapter pretty well, lol.


	4. Highway to Hell

**Disclaimer:** I do now own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Highway to Hell" by AC/DC.

**A/N:** The beginning of the argument between Curly and Lucy Jane inside Jay's in chapter three has been edited slightly. It doesn't change the events that follow, and you don't _need_ to read it, but it is slightly different.

* * *

**CHAPTER FOUR**

_Don't need reason, don't need rhyme  
__Ain't nothing I would rather do_

Curly wasn't positive, but he was almost sure Lucy Jane was watching him out of the corner of her eye … just as she had been the last few days. He'd thought after what happened Friday night that she would do her best to pretend he didn't exist, but he was glad to be proven wrong.

He didn't know why he had kissed her. All he knew was that she had looked angry and heated and so damn sexy that he had wanted her … so fucking bad. Kissing her had just seemed like the right thing to do. It wasn't, of course it wasn't. It had been the completely wrong thing to do, but as far as he was concerned, that had just made it even hotter.

She had been so soft and willing, so fucking eager for his touch. He had been surprised something fierce when she had kissed him back with as much enthusiasm as he'd kissed her, but not once had he faltered. How could he have after seeing her tongue peep out to wet her lips? And she had smelled good - so fucking good. Like flowers.

Curly sighed. He had kissed her, and it had been worth every moment he had put into picking on her.

Clenching his fists, he pushed back those thoughts and glanced her way again. His gaze caught hers immediately and he smirked. She glared and turned away from him.

"What's going on with you and Lucy Jane?" Ponyboy Curtis asked.

Curly raised an eyebrow. "You know her?"

Ponyboy had some kind of weird relationship going on with the rich kids. Most of them seemed to accept him a whole heap better than they did Curly. He figured it was because of Pony being on the track team. It didn't bother Curly, though. He and Pony had been buddies for years now; rich kids weren't going to change that.

"Share a couple of classes with her," Pony said. "Can't say I really know her, though."

"Probably wouldn't want to; she's a bit of a bitch."

Pony raised an eyebrow, looking for all the world like Two-Bit Mathews. "That why you did your best to get her detention last week?"

Curly grinned. "Heard about that, did ya?"

"Ain't many who didn't hear about it."

"She just don't like anyone putting her in her place, is all."

"I'm pretty sure I've seen her glarin' at you more than you glarin' at her," Pony said. "You'd think after this long to get over things, she'd be done with ya."

"Yeah, you'd think so," Curly agreed, but he was glad she wasn't.

It wasn't like he wanted to date her, but kissing her sure had been something. He had never been as affected by a kiss as he was by that one. There was nothing special about it - or her for that matter - but it had been one hell of a kiss, and he had thought about it more than once in the days since.

Lucy Jane was still a bitch who seemed to think she was better than everyone, and Curly still couldn't stand her, but he definitely wanted to kiss her again. Only problem was that convincing her she wanted him to kiss her again might be tricky.

He knew she did, he could see it every time he saw her. He caught her watching him in the middle of the hallways and across the parking lot, he saw the way her face would heat up when he strolled in late to their Spanish class, and most importantly, he had seen the way she had licked her lips again when she caught him checking her out yesterday afternoon.

She wanted him to kiss her again, and he was going to. He just had to figure out how to get her alone again.

Causing another argument in class was out of the question; he faced suspension for any trouble he caused from now until graduation, and the last thing he needed was to piss Tim off again. He was over Curly's suspension from a few weeks ago and had even let him in on the job they had coming up. So long as he kept his shit together, he'd have enough money for his paint job in about a month. And a little more respect from Tim in a few weeks.

Of course, neither of those solved his problem with Lucy Jane. Sweet little Lucy Jane who looked at him with contempt, disgust, and even a little hatred, but who had practically thrown herself into his arms when he had kissed her.

Well, that might be a slight exaggeration, but there was no doubt in his mind that she had wanted it. She still wanted it, possibly even as much as he did. He would find a way to make her realise it, too. He had to, because he _had_ to kiss her again.

He was still thinking about her later that night. Sitting around the large table Tim used for his meetings downtown, Curly fiddled with his blade and wondered what the chances of getting Lucy Jane alone at school were. Slim to none, probably.

"Curly," Tim snapped.

He flipped his knife closed and looked up. "Yeah?"

"Did you hear a word I said?"

"'Course I did," he muttered. "Take any car parts we can find until the real job starts in a month, and stay the hell away from Brumly's territory."

"Robbie McDonald wanted his guys in on a job similar to this one," Tim said, referring to the Brumly leader. "He would've made a point to tell his guys we stole their job, so be on the lookout."

"He was also hassling some of our girls at Buck's the other night," Danny said. "The more we keep him offa our turf, the better."

Tim nodded in agreement and gave out the location of where they were to store whatever they picked up over the next few weeks. Curly listened, just as he had been earlier, but his mind went back to plotting a way to kiss the girl who wouldn't leave his mind.

XXXXX

Biting her lower lip, Lucy Jane took a deep breath and slowly let it out. This was not a big deal. It was not a big deal today, nor had it been a big deal for the last three days. It was only Spanish, something she had been doing five days a week since junior year. There was no test, no homework due, no reason for her to be dreading the one class she was awful at.

After all, she had survived it during two weeks of being hassled by Curly Shepard. She could survive it after being kissed by Curly Shepard.

Then again, she hadn't exactly made it through the two weeks of being hassled by him without yelling at him in the middle of class, making a complete fool out of herself, and earning herself a detention … but she would make it through this. It was just silly, really. So he had kissed her; it wasn't as though she were the only girl in the world he had kissed, and it wasn't as though it even mattered.

The kiss hadn't mattered, just like the way he stared at her in the halls didn't matter, and just like the way he smirked at her when he caught her looking at him didn't matter. It wasn't as though she were checking him out when he caught her. She was just observing him.

That didn't mean that he wasn't worth observing. He wore a hideous leather jacket, too much grease in his hair even though that had gone out of fashion during the last year, and was so tall she almost had to strain her neck to look … but goodness he was handsome. Not in the conventional way, of course. Not handsome like Roger McKenna or any of the other boys she was actually on decent terms with. No, Curly Shepard was handsome in the kind of way that made her long for him.

He was simply gorgeous. He had only kissed her once, and she still hated him, but she also had the ability to realise he was incredibly good looking.

He had some kind of bad-boy charm that did something to her, and she despised him for it. So much so, that she was to blame for every fight they'd had this week. She needed to stop thinking about him the way she had been since the kiss, and figured the best way to do so was to remember what a jerk he was.

Unfortunately, he wasn't fighting back in such a nasty way anymore; he even seemed to get a kick out of arguing with her in more of a teasing manner than a nasty one.

Sighing, she held her books tighter to her chest and made her way into her Spanish class. She couldn't help the way her eyes automatically sought him out, and hated herself for the flipping of her stomach when she found him watching her. He smirked at her and she glared. It was the way it was now: he would smirk, she would glare; he would let his gaze travel the length of her body, her skin would heat up; he would grin crookedly at her, her stomach would fill with butterflies.

It had become their routine - one she wasn't sure she liked.

She sat in her seat, well aware of his gaze on her from his seat two rows back and to her right. Thankfully, the final bell rang seconds later, and she found herself trying to concentrate on what Miss Perry was saying.

It didn't work. It seemed as though Curly Shepard had infiltrated her brain and wasn't letting her think of anything other than him. In one way, she was almost happy for it. It kept her from thinking about her family, and how Harry had asked her yesterday if Daddy had moved out like Josie did.

She hadn't known how to answer. Her parents being out so often didn't bother Lucy Jane all that much, but when Harry became bothered by it, it began to frustrate her.

Thinking about Curly might have been a good distraction from that, but she still hated it. She hated how intensely she had reacted. She hated the looks his friends were giving her, as if they knew what had happened. She hated the way what had happened didn't seem to bother him in the least.

More than anything, she hated the way she had enjoyed it more than she had enjoyed kissing any other boy. Not that she had many to compare it to, but goodness, it had been one heck of a kiss and it had made her slightly crazy since.

It wasn't just the kiss that had made her crazy, but everything after it, too. Her anger at his lack of worry over it had started the moment she left him and reached her car. Or maybe it wasn't anger at him, but jealousy of him.

She had made it back to her car, absolutely terrified that someone had seen her kissing him as though her life depended on it. Her hands were shaking, and she had been expecting someone to pop up in front of her and ask her what on earth she was doing pressed up against the side of a fast food restaurant, kissing trash like that.

She wouldn't have been able to answer them, but that wasn't the problem. When she started her car and squealed out of the parking lot, she'd taken one last glimpse at Curly and found him casually leaning against the same corner he had been when she had first walked outside.

It had hit her then that he was free. He was free to do as he pleased without worrying about the consequences. He could argue with whomever he wanted, he could talk back to whomever he wanted, and he could kiss whomever he wanted … and he didn't care what happened. He could get away with anything - fights, stealing, making scene's in class. She had to keep her cool about everything, and was still surprised her mother hadn't been informed of her outburst last week.

Curly didn't have teachers breathing down his neck about his grades, nor did he have friends looking down their nose at him for the person he argued with in the halls. Most of all, he didn't have a mother who only showed concern for him when she thought he was doing something to ruin her precious reputation.

Lucy Jane sighed. Curly Shepard was free, and she suddenly wished she had the same luxury.

XXXXX

Walking down the deserted hallway the following afternoon, Lucy Jane happily decided that faking a headache was the best idea she'd had in a long time. History just wasn't what her mind could concentrate on right then. In fact, she hadn't been able to concentrate on much of anything all week. It seemed as though when her mind was stuck on something that just wouldn't leave, concentrating on anything else was not an easy feat. In fact, it was down right impossible.

She liked to pretend it was because she was looking forward to winter break beginning the following day, but that wasn't true. It had nothing to do with Christmas and holidays, and everything to do with _him._

All she could see when Mrs. Walker talked about the Civil War was a pair of the most amazing eyes she had ever seen. She hated to think of them like that, but there were no other words for them. Almost every time they'd looked at her, they'd been empty of every emotion but contempt and amusement at any misfortune that came her way. However, they had never really looked _empty_. They had looked dark, dangerous, and heartbreakingly beautiful.

She scoffed, knowing she sounded like an idiot in one of those stupid romance novels Emmy read, but simply not caring. The eyes were stunning, and the one time they had held something other than contempt … well, Lucy Jane secretly wouldn't mind if they looked at her like that again. Full of lust, desire, and passion. She shivered at the memory, trying to forget it.

This wasn't how things were supposed to go. School was important to her, and wasting her time thinking about some boy was stupid and frustrating. She wasn't supposed to be fixated over a stupid kiss that had meant nothing and hadn't even been that good. Well, it had definitely meant nothing, but the idea of it not being good was an outright lie. If it hadn't been good, her mind wouldn't have committed every little detail of it to memory … like the way his eyes had stared into hers.

She sighed, her heart fluttering a little as she remembered what had happened. It wasn't just his eyes that had her melting in the middle of the school hallways; it had been his hands, his mouth … his entire body.

She looked up when she heard footsteps approaching, swearing that her mind had just been drifting and that she hadn't meant a word of what she'd been thinking. Nor would she ever admit that she'd had such foolish thoughts.

She looked at the person coming toward her, into the blue eyes that held no real emotion whatsoever and still managed to look like hot pools of silky blue …

Lucy Jane quickly looked away, pulled her books closer to her chest, and tried to get a grip on herself. Having the stupid thoughts that she never wanted to admit to in front of the person the thoughts were about was as unwise - and possibly dangerous - as she could get.

He stopped a few feet from her and she looked up, head high and face defiant.

Curly smirked at her. "Fancy meetin' you here."

She frowned. "What are you doing out here?" This chance meeting was a little too convenient, in her opinion.

"You shouldn't be walking down the hallway alone," he said, voice smooth. "You never know who you might run into."

"As if I care _what_ I run into."

"Aw, sure you do." His smirk grew. "You care a lot."

She shook her head. "Why would I care?"

"Well." He circled her, stopping at her side. "You just don't know what people are capable of when alone and given half a chance."

She narrowed her eyes as she turned to face him. "I'm not afraid of you," she said. They were at school after all, what was the most he could do?

"You're not?" He stepped towards her.

She stepped back. "No."

He continued to smirk at her and walk towards her until her back hit a row of lockers. Heart thudding, she did her best to breathe evenly as he stopped not two feet in front of her. She didn't want to, she _really_ didn't want to, but she couldn't stop her eyes from nervously glancing left and right, looking for a possible escape route.

Meeting his gaze, she pulled her books tighter to her chest. "I'm not afraid of you," she said again.

"So you've said."

She looked into his eyes as he rested his right hand on the lockers next to her head. It seemed impossible, but she swore that they were getting darker with every passing second. Darkening the same way they had a week ago. She felt a thrill go down her spine, and she thought her heart might stop, but she ignored it.

"I don't want you to kiss me again, either."

He raised an eyebrow. "Who said anything about kissing?"

She flushed, embarrassed and angry at herself for saying aloud anything to do with the kiss they had shared. _You shouldn't be thinking about him and kissing anyway_, she scolded.

"You didn't have to. I can see it in your eyes, and I'm telling you now that I don't want you to."

Curly nodded and leaned forward. His forearm replaced his hand on the lockers as his left hand reached up, pushing a strand of hair away from her face. Her eyes widened and her arms fell to her sides as she looked at him - heart beating much too fast and breath coming much too quickly.

"You're lying," he said.

"I - what?"

He continued moving hair back from her face as he looked at her. "You're lying."

She frowned, but it was weak, and she couldn't tear her eyes away from his. "I don't know what you're talking about."

His fingers moved to rest against her temple. "I see how you look at me, Lucy." He paused. "And your cheeks; you're blushing an awful lot and I'm startin' to think it's because of how close I'm standin'."

Both his knuckles and his gaze traced the redness on her cheeks, and she knew they were simply getting hotter under his touch. Though she was terrified of someone coming out of a class and finding them like this, her breathing was heavy, and she desperately hoped he called her on that next; she wanted to feel his fingers against her lips.

"And on your neck," he continued, gaze roaming over her skin, fingers pushing her hair off of her shoulder and his head lowering so very slowly. "I can almost see your pulse going faster and faster with every little bit closer I come."

She swallowed and glanced to the side as he moved his body closer, blocking her left side completely, but leaving her right side free for escape. For a moment, she desperately hoped no one would see them, but soon the scent of aftershave, leather and something that sent her more than a little bit crazy filled her nostrils, and it was all she could do not to throw herself at him.

"You're lyin'," he said again. His breath was warm against her neck, and his body so close that were she to breathe deeply, they would be touching. "But I do believe that you're not scared of me."

His fingers travelled so lightly down her neck and onto her thumping pulse that it tickled, but she let her head fall to the side anyway, giving him all the room he wanted. Slowly - as if giving her all the time in the world to go right and leave, but somehow knowing she wouldn't - he let his lips touch her throat, right where her blood was pumping wildly.

She whimpered. She actually _whimpered _at the sheer need she had for him. He was right - she was lying. She wanted him to kiss her. She wanted more of his touch, more of his lips on her, more of his body against hers. Every cell in her body felt alive, as though little currents were sparking beneath her skin, begging for his touch.

But she would never admit to it.

"Go to hell," she whispered, voice strangled.

He lifted his head to chuckle in her ear. "Come with me," he murmured, and damn it all if she didn't find it the most seductive invitation she had ever heard.

Suddenly, his lips were right in front of hers, arms on either side of her head, and his body - _oh God his body_ - was pressed firmly against hers, allowing her to feel just how much this encounter was affecting him also.

And because she had the worst luck of everyone she knew, the end of class bell rang, just as his lips dragged themselves over her jaw.

_I'm going down, all the way down  
__I'm on a highway to hell_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, Erin for being the voice inside my head when I edit, and everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it :)


	5. Blue Christmas

**Disclaimer:** I do now own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Blue Christmas" by Elvis Presley.

**Warning:** Rated T for sexual references and situations.

* * *

**CHAPTER FIVE**

_I'll have a blue Christmas without you,  
__I'll be so blue just thinking about you _

It was freezing in her room, but Lucy Jane didn't care. The cold took her mind off of the dreadful day she'd had and helped her think about slightly better things. She hated it, though. She had never been a fan of cold weather, but it kept her mind focused and that was what she needed.

It also reminded her of Curly Shepard, but because that made no sense, she tried to ignore it.

She hadn't seen Curly since their encounter in school last week. Not that she minded, really. The last thing she needed was him tempting her like he had that last day of school. Having not seen him was a good thing, and knowing she wouldn't see him again for a few more days was even better. Christmas day was eight minutes from ending, school didn't go back for over week, and she wouldn't have to see Curly until then. Basically, she couldn't be happier if she tried.

Well, that wasn't necessarily true. It hadn't been the best Christmas to date, but it had been their first without Josie. That alone had put her mother in a worse mood than usual, and Josie calling at lunch time to say Merry Christmas had put her father in just as bad mood. One would think her parents would be happy to hear from their oldest daughter.

Lucy Jane was used to their moods about Josie, and it didn't bother her so much when they went from pleasant to irritable due to a phone call or a postcard. Harry, however, couldn't quite figure out why his mom wasn't as excited about receiving her paper mache duck as he was about giving it to her.

Arthur Cooper had spent most of the day in his office, and Constance had retreated to her bedroom with a large glass of red wine shortly after the dinner dishes were done. Lucy Jane had happily spent the rest of the night colouring with Harry. She'd opened plenty of new clothes, make up, and books earlier that day, but colouring with Harry had definitely been the best part of it.

She didn't mind having to be the one to entertain Harry. In fact, things had been much nicer for the both of them with their parents out of the way. The only problem was that Harry didn't understand any of it. She hated to see him so confused about what was going on, but there wasn't a thing she could do or say about it. There was no way to explain it to him.

Sitting on the floor beneath the open window, back against the wall and arms wrapped around her legs, she switched her train of thought. Her parents were the one thing she didn't want to think about, and if her mind happened to wander other places instead, then she wasn't about to stop it. Although, she supposed it wasn't really considered _wandering_ when she wanted it to happen. It wasn't a bad thing when she _chose_ to think about him. It wasn't wrong when it was late and cold and her day hadn't been what it should have been.

She figured it wasn't bad when she thought about him because she wanted to, so she let her mind drift … because she wanted to.

She wanted the memory of soft lips, large hands, and sultry eyes, and she wanted to mix them in with her own foolish daydream of each of those slowly wandering over her body …

Thoughts of Curly Shepard had been flitting through her mind since the night he had kissed her, and they were becoming more absurd and desperate each day. More intense, more passionate, more impure. She was a teenage girl - she had hormones and emotions and an active imagination - and that was the only reason she could give for the completely out of place thoughts she was having.

That and the memory of his body pressed against hers. The memory that often became so much more than it really was. The location would change, the end result would change, no one could interrupt them, no one would judge them, and it would be perfect. So perfect.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair. Glory, but she was an idiot. She knew it, too. She knew she was having silly fantasies about some boy who had the freedom she craved - who made Josie's life of freedom more enticing than ever before. He had the freedom to do as he pleased, say as he pleased, and kiss who he pleased. And because of that, he had the power to do things Lucy Jane could never do herself. She could never make the escape she knew she should - the escape Josie had made. But he could. He could to take her away from her parents, her fake friends, and her depressing life.

But did really she want him to?

Running away with Curly sure was a nice - and utterly absurd - idea in theory, but that's all it was; an idea. A silly daydream about a boy she didn't know or like. He was gorgeous and he made her feel things she had never known, but she didn't like him. Goodness, she didn't even know him.

She didn't want to know him. The idea of having him take her away was appealing and alluring, and it did a wonderful job of taking her mind off of everything else, but she needed to stop. She needed to get him out of her mind, out of her system.

A sigh escaped her lips, and she glanced at the clock, watching the hands tick from the twenty-fifth of December to the twenty-sixth and making her decision. It wasn't a tough decision. It was logical it and made a whole lot more sense than kissing Curly Shepard.

New Years was in a week and she knew for a fact Roger was planning to call and ask her to the party he and Joanna were having. She would say yes. She would say yes, and she would go to the New Years party with Roger. She would kiss Roger at the stroke of midnight and forget all about Curly Shepard. Because not doing so was just ridiculous.

XXXXX

Curly hadn't expected to see Lucy Jane out and about over the Christmas holidays. He had assumed she would be in some exotic country or some fancy ass country club with her family. Not in the bowling alley he and his buddies were hanging out in.

He, George, and Jack had just dropped off a reasonable size stash of hubcaps, car radios, and anything else they had found worth stealing in the strangers' cars they had broken into. Tim had been at the storage building when they arrived, and seemed impressed with the haul they had.

"Nice goin'. Where'd you find all this?"

"Got most of it down on Tasman," Curly told him.

Tim nodded, showing them where to put it. "Good going, kid," he'd called as Curly was leaving.

It had put him in a pathetically good mood since.

And now, in the hallway leading to the bathrooms, he had Lucy Jane cornered. It put him in an even better mood, and there was no way in hell he was letting her walk away from him this time. He'd had his eye on her since arriving an hour ago, and as soon as she had gotten up and headed to the bathroom, Curly had followed. Meeting her in the school hallway before break had been a fluke, but he didn't expect many more of those and wasn't going to let this chance go to waste.

He smirked as she came out of the bathroom, and leaned against the wall. The hallway was narrow, and she frowned when she noticed him blocking her way out. His smirk grew; she wasn't afraid of him, he knew that, but she was definitely nervous about what he wanted.

And glory; there was a lot he wanted.

"How's it goin'?" he asked.

Her eyes were wide as her gaze flew between he and the door behind him. "My friends are right outside."

"You think I care?" he asked, eyebrow raised.

He didn't, and they both knew it. She could be as worried about her friends seeing them together as she wanted to be, but he didn't give a flying fuck. Her friends could walk in on him nailing her against the wall for all he cared.

"Your friends are out there, too," she said.

He shrugged as though it didn't matter. It didn't, not really. If his buddies caught him with her, he had the excuse of picking on her - trying to piss her off, and get on her nerves. She didn't have any handy excuses like that.

She walked toward him, head held high as though she really thought he was going to move aside and let her through. Staying where he was, he waited until she was standing a few feet away from him.

"Let me through."

"I don't think so."

She frowned again, and he thought she looked real cute in her blue woollen scarf and hat. They matched her eyes real nice.

"How was your Christmas?" he asked.

"It was fine, thank you."

He figured her manners were more habit than genuine.

"Christmas ain't that big a deal over in my neighbourhood," he said.

She looked at him long and hard, as if trying to figure out what it was he wanted from her. "What's your point?"

He stepped forward, still blocking her path. "I was just thinkin'," he began, slowly walking toward her, "that if you were as sweet as I'm sure you are, you'd give me the one thing I really wanted for Christmas."

And Lord help him, it really had been all he wanted. It had been weeks since their kiss and he wanted another so bad he could almost taste it. Literally. Every time he thought about it, his mouth watered and he could taste the coffee from her sweet tongue.

"What?" she asked, stopping him before his thoughts went too far. "What is it you really wanted for Christmas?"

"Oh, I think you know."

"No, I don't."

He smirked and reached his hand out to touch her, but her gloved hand batted his away before he was even close. He chuckled.

"What's wrong? You don't want me to touch you?"

"No, I don't," she said again, looking shaken and sounding much less convincing.

He stepped forward again, so close he was almost touching her, but she didn't move an inch. God, he sure didn't know what he was doing. He should just be kissing her already - grabbing her and pressing himself against her, not bothering with this bullshit banter.

"Gosh, but you're a bad liar," he said. "I thought we already agreed that you want me to kiss you."

She said nothing.

"That's all I wanted." He lowered his head. "All I wanted for Christmas was another kiss from you."

"From me?" Her eyes were wide and he wanted to kiss her innocence away.

"Only from you."

Her breathing was coming so quick that if he didn't know it was because of his words and close proximity, he'd be worried. She swallowed, looking up at him with hazy eyes. He had her.

"You're really gonna deny me that one Christmas wish?" he asked. His heart thudded as he reached up and stroked her jaw with his long fingers.

The door behind him crashed open, and Lucy Jane came to her senses right away. She pushed past him and the guy who was making his way down the hall. Curly watched her go, knowing there was nothing he could do about it, and ready to rip the guy's head off.

"Goddamn," he muttered, kicking at the wall in front of him. He was fucking sick of being interrupted.

XXXXX

Curly let out a quiet moan as Beth Travis popped the button of his jeans, letting her knuckles graze the skin above his jockeys. He wished she would hurry up already, but Beth had a bad habit of being a tease and doing her best to make the boys she went with beg for it.

He wouldn't beg, though. He was desperate, but not that desperate. All he wanted was to take his mind off all the crap of the past few weeks, and what Beth was willing to do was sure to do the trick.

Beth whispered something in his ear as her hand slid lower, and he swallowed back the urge to tell her to shut-up and put her mouth to better use. He wouldn't, though. Beth might not be willing to put out, but what she was doing right then was still pretty damn good and he wasn't going to risk her stopping.

But it wasn't good enough.

Blue eyes and dark hair swam in front of his eyelids, and a louder moan came out. Lucy fucking Jane had been on his mind all winter holidays and he was sick of it. She was a stuck-up bitch and he wanted her out of his system. Unfortunately, that wouldn't happen the way he wanted it to, and using Beth was going to have to do.

Beth giggled against his neck as she kissed him, probably assuming his moan was due to her ministrations. He decided that correcting her wasn't the best idea, but didn't bother pushing away the thoughts of Lucy Jane as Beth placed kisses along his skin.

If anything, he let his mind wander even further, remembering the one kiss he had shared with Lucy Jane - the way she tasted, the way she tugged at his hair, and the way she wriggled as he held her against the wall …

"Glory," he muttered, stomach tingling.

Beth pressed against him, but Curly barely noticed. He hated himself for it. He was standing in the deserted hallway of Buck's, many shots of bourbon sitting in his stomach, and Beth doing plenty of nice things to him. It was close enough to what he should be doing at a New Years Eve party, only he shouldn't be doing it with the intentions of getting his mind off of Lucy Jane.

"Jesus Christ," he muttered, as Beth's free hand skimmed under his shirt, nails scratching slightly.

That and the image of Lucy wrapped around him like she had been a few weeks back was too much. Wrapping a hand into Beth's hair, he pulled her face up to his and crushed his mouth against her own.

She pulled back moments later, smiling in delight at the pleasure she had just given him. Ignoring the look in her eyes, Curly did up his jeans, muttered something about going to the bathroom, and took off upstairs.

This wasn't supposed to happen. He was supposed to be fucking Lucy Jane out of his system with some broad he'd picked up at the New Years party, not picking up Beth Travis and being content with her. And instead of concentrating on what Beth had been doing, he had let himself think of Lucy Jane. Hell, he had made a damn point of thinking about her in order to make the whole thing feel even better.

Finishing up in the bathroom, Curly made his way back downstairs and grabbed a half-empty bottle of bourbon he found sitting on an empty table. No one would miss it, and he needed a drink more than he needed to get out of the damn roadhouse.

He made his way outside, half-wondering where the hell Tim, Danny, and all the guys had disappeared to, and half-glad his brother wasn't around. This new uncertainty about Tim made not having to answer to anyone right then a good thing.

Not that he wanted Tim to go back to jail or anything; he just wished Tim would let up on him a little. He wasn't the stupid kid he used to be. He had matured a shit load and Tim still didn't seem to realise it, not even when Danny knew it. He figured he could at least be glad Tim had agreed to give him a reasonable part in the job coming up.

Sighing, Curly took a large mouthful of bourbon, the burning liquid flowing freely down his throat. There was no point in thinking about Tim and his lack of faith in him tonight. Not when thinking about it wouldn't last more than a few minutes.

It seemed no matter what he did, what he thought about, or who he fooled around with, the only thing on Curly's mind was Lucy Jane.

He vaguely wondered if her holidays had been as good as he imagined them to be. The smell of Christmas cookies, sickeningly happy people, and a large, decorated Christmas tree with piles of presents beneath … it was what he could see, and what he was sure it had been like.

His Christmas, on the other hand, had come and gone without anyone saying a word. It was the usual situation in his neighbourhood, and it didn't bother him anymore. His house never got decorated and presents hadn't been given out in years. They had scored themselves some great Christmas cookies from Danny's kid sister, and that had been the extent of their gifts.

Leaning against Tim's car, he frowned, wondering what Lucy Jane was doing, who she was with, and if her night was going any better than his.

With a sinking feeling, he desperately hoped her night was nothing like his. The idea of her doing to someone what Beth had just done to him made him feel nauseous, and the idea of someone touching her that way, mixed with the alcohol in his stomach, had him throwing up in the bushes near Tim's car.

XXXXX

The countdown would be starting shortly and Lucy Jane almost wanted to cover her ears to block out the sound of it. She wasn't in the mood for this. Partying with her friends was normally a decent enough time, but right then, all she wanted to do was leave Roger and Joanna's party and not come back.

She didn't know where she would go if she managed to leave. Home was no good - her parents were throwing the New Years party to end all New Years parties, and Lucy Jane had been told to spend the night at Emmy's. She had silently scoffed at that. As if she wanted to be at home anyway; she would probably just wear too much makeup or eat too much dinner and embarrass absolutely everyone.

Emmy was excited about having her over, but Emmy had been excited about everything all day long. Following her best friends into a corner, Lucy Jane wondered if she were about to find out why.

"I'm going to sleep with Simon after midnight," Emmy said, loud enough for Lucy Jane to hear her over the music.

Her eyes widened. "You've only been with him a few weeks."

"I know, but …" Emmy trailed off with a shrug. "When it's right it's right."

"Okay."

"You can still stay with me," she said, quickly. "I mean, it's not as if it'll take all night, right?"

"Goodness, Emmy; I wouldn't know," Lucy Jane said.

"Well, I suppose I'll find out." Emmy giggled. "And I'll let you know; Lord knows I'll be desperate to talk about it."

Lucy Jane grinned, but it faded slightly as Roger came over to her. Emmy gave her a grin and left them alone.

Taking the cup offered to her, she looked up and smiled at him. He had called, just as expected, and picked her up hours earlier. A while ago she had actually found herself wishing she'd said yes to dating him when he'd first asked. He was sweet and charming and kind … exactly what she needed in a boy. Exactly what she wanted in a boy.

She even kind of liked him a little. She had always thought of him as dull and slightly arrogant, but she had been quickly proven wrong. He was interesting and fun. They had danced, talked, and laughed all night long.

Of course, him being interesting had changed nothing and she had spent the night trying to keep her thoughts on track - a stark difference to what she had been doing so far these holidays. She hadn't done too terrible a job, and had convinced both herself and everyone around her that she was having a great time.

Until just recently.

Recently, being when she had realised she had indeed come to the party as Roger's date. She knew what was expected of her … knew that a kiss at midnight was the norm. And really, it should not be a problem. She had been expecting it and had already come to appreciate what a nice guy Roger was … kissing him was something she should want to do.

"_Ten, nine, eight …_"

She smiled at Roger and knew that the only problem with the night she had spent with him was that a very small, niggling part of her brain continued luring the rest of her brain toward recently unwanted memories. As far as she was concerned, it made no sense. They were bothersome and not particularly great memories anyway.

"_Seven, six, five …_"

Everyone around her was yelling, and she realised that another small and insignificant part of her mind knew exactly where she wanted to go were she able to leave the party, but of course she wouldn't actually go there.

"_Four, three, two …_"

She couldn't go there. No matter how badly she wanted to leave the party and go elsewhere, she couldn't. Not just because she didn't know where _there_ was, but because it wasn't so much a _where_ she wanted to go, it was a _who_ she wanted to be there with.

"_One … Happy New Year!_"

Lucy Jane swallowed and looked at Roger who was smiling down at her. Not letting herself think about it, she smiled back, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him with all the enthusiasm she could muster.

She wouldn't let herself think about the kiss she was in, but she couldn't stop her mind from wishing it was leather pressing against her body, curly hair she was threading her fingers through, and smoke she could taste on her companion's tongue.

_And when those blue snowflakes start falling,  
__that's when those blue memories start calling_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. All reviews and concrit would be very much appreciated :)


	6. Dazed and Confused

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Dazed and Confused" by Led Zeppelin.

_"This fic/chapter is being posted as part of "Good Fic Day," an effort to raise the quality of writing here. We hope to encourage more writers to improve the quality of their own fan fiction - spell check, grammar check, keep the gang in character, outline, plot and don't use Mary Sues. Good fan fiction requires effort, and we would like to encourage other writers to rise to the challenge of producing better fan fiction, not only for our readers, but for S.E. Hinton, who created the wonderful book we are trying to honour."_

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**CHAPTER SIX**

_Sweet little baby, I don't know where you been,  
__Gonna love you baby, here I come again _

New years had been messy.

Throwing up in the bushes next to Tim's car had been messy, the fool he'd made of himself in front of Anita had been messy, and the situation he had gotten himself into with Beth had been messy. The whole night had been a bust.

There wasn't much he'd been able to do about puking next to Tim's car, except wipe his mouth, go back inside Buck's, and sleep it off. Alone.

Anita Mort had been plenty disgusted with the pathetic comments he'd sent in her direction before heading upstairs. He had known she wouldn't join him when he'd asked - taunted mercilessly - but that hadn't stopped him.

A completely drunk part of his brain had been sure a good screw with the girl he had been after for years would rid him of the stupid thoughts of Lucy Jane. The tiny part of him that had sobered up after vomiting and fooling around with Beth Travis had known he could sleep with Anita all night long and still be thinking about the prissy bitch on the other side of town.

Beth. Fuck that had been the worst thing he could have done. All to get Lucy Jane out of his head, and all it had done was push her farther in there. As far as he was concerned, thinking of her while with Beth had done nothing but give him a tiny taste of what being with her could be like.

He had successfully avoided Lucy Jane since school started back up. For almost week now, he had managed to only see her in their shared Spanish class. It wasn't easy, what with the way his eyes seemed to constantly seek her out, and the way he really, _really_ _wanted_ to see her.

No matter where he was, what he was doing, or who he was with - he was always on the look out for her. He was always searching for another glimpse, because looking at her, even when she wouldn't return his gaze, sure was nice.

But he had been avoiding her, and he had been avoiding her well. Winter holidays had come and gone, school was routine again, and he hadn't made eye contact with Lucy Jane once. He was pretty damn sure she was doing her best to avoid him, too.

She wouldn't look at him in the halls or parking lot, she didn't let her gaze drift in his direction when she entered their Spanish classroom, and not once had either of them started some stupid argument in the middle of the hallway for no reason other than to get at each other.

There had been no interaction since that day at the bowling alley. A part of him was pleased - a bigger part was desperate to see her. That was why after almost a week of avoiding her, Curly was looking for her.

There was no reason for him to be in the library on a Wednesday afternoon. Actually, if he thought about it, there were a few reasons he _should_ be in the library on a Wednesday afternoon, but no reason he would be unless it included a girl … which it did.

It had been weeks since he had kissed her outside of Jays, and he wanted more. In fact, he truly felt like he _needed_ more. That one taste of her hadn't been even close to enough and he was desperate. Though, if he were being honest with himself, he was sure that no matter how many more times he kissed her, it would never be enough.

It didn't matter how many times he got to kiss her, or how many other girls he kissed in the mean time; he would always want more of her. His actions with Beth Travis over the holidays that had done nothing to curb his desire for Lucy Jane proved that. Proved that he wanted her … only her.

She was a fucking addiction.

Tim had warned him about that kind of shit when Curly had first started drinking at parties. Told him he needed to keep his shit together and not let the alcohol get the better of him. Curly had felt mighty pleased with himself when he had proved to be able to hold his liquor better than Tim expected.

But, he had to wonder what Tim would say about this kind of addiction. Before now, he'd never known this kind of addiction existed. But it was there. Just beneath the surface of everything he wanted to be thinking and feeling, was the constant need to see her, to talk to her, to kiss her … touch her and taste her and fucking be with her.

"God damn it," he muttered.

The library was quiet and mostly empty. He knew she would be there. It wasn't as if he had memorised her schedule or anything - he wasn't quite that pathetic - but he had seen her walking this way while slacking off in his free study period, right next door to the library. Partly because he had nothing better to do and partly because he couldn't stop himself, he had claimed to need the bathroom, and quietly headed into the library. A minute and a half later and here he was; in the library, searching for her. Like a fucking lovesick puppy.

He decided it was just one of those times where good things happened to him when he found her near the back of the library. She was at the end of an aisle with her back to him, and no way to escape. Fucking perfect. A smirk formed on his lips, and he quietly made his way towards her.

She looked good. That was one thing he could never deny. He could say she was a bitch, and he could say she didn't deserve the attention he put into kissing her again, but he couldn't say she didn't look good.

When he reached her, he kept quiet, watching as she flipped through the book she was holding. Still smirking, he leaned close. His mouth was right next to her ear when he spoke.

"You've been avoidin' me."

She jumped and shivered slightly, but didn't turn. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"That so?" he asked. He stood straight and shoved his hands in his pockets. He'd never tell, but a small part of him got a thrill out of her knowing his voice.

"That's right." She placed the book back on the shelf and turned to face him. "Not a clue."

"Huh."

She seemed to realise then just how close he was standing, and she took a step back, frowning at him. Curly stayed silent, and she glanced behind her, clearly trapped. Holding out an arm, he turned slightly, making _just_ enough room for her to get past him; he didn't need to point out how much of her own body would brush against his if she chose to leave.

She frowned at him, arms crossed. "What do you want?"

"I think you know what I want," he said. "And I wouldn't bother with the 'I don't want you to kiss me' crap; we both know it ain't true."

She glared and said nothing. Taking that as a good sign, Curly continued toward her.

"So," he said. "How much longer do ya think you'll keep this act up for?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said again, but her voice was lower and her breathing harsher.

He sighed. "This is getting really old."

She stayed silent, and he could damn near see the war waging inside of her. Tell him to get lost? Or give in? He wondered if he would get the result he wanted by pushing her or by pulling back. He had a feeling that if he went in the wrong direction this time, she would leave, and that was the last thing he wanted.

He stayed where he was; no pushing, no pulling. He would wait for some kind of sign, _any_ kind of sign, before he did anything. Deep down he knew that it didn't matter which kind of sign she gave him; he was going to kiss her. And while he waited, he was going to watch her.

Giving her a crooked grin, he let his gaze travel down her body, happily making a point of resting a little too long where her crossed arms were pushing up her breasts. She dropped her arms to her side, and he was sure she was glaring at him. By the time he was looking back into her eyes, he had to remind himself that he wasn't pushing - that he was waiting for a sign.

And not two seconds later, her glazed eyes lowered to his lips, and that was enough of a sign for him.

His hands found her face and her eyes fluttered closed before his lips were even close to her. He sighed, threaded his fingers into her hair, and kissed her. She tasted better than he remembered - better than he ever could have imagined - and he groaned softly into her mouth as she opened up for him, letting him slip his tongue inside to caress her own.

He couldn't help himself with her, with his addiction that was her. Moving in the very few inches, he pressed his body hard against hers as he attacked her mouth and let his hands roughly wander her body - digging into her sides, palming her breasts, and grabbing her hips to pull her closer. She didn't seem to mind. In fact, the way she pressed into him made him think that maybe she liked the rough way he was kissing and touching her.

The feeling of her hands tangling in his hair was killing him in the most mouth-watering way, and all he wanted to do was take her right there against the library wall. The teachers and students and whole fucking world could go to hell for all he cared.

But it was just his fucking luck - not that she would have let him have her against the library wall anyway - that something had to interrupt them. There was a crackling above them, and Lucy Jane pushed him away as Mr. Clements' voice came out over the PA speakers.

Curly drew away from her, breathing hard, hands resting on either side of her head as he glanced up, glaring at the inanimate object. He figured it was probably for the best that it wasn't a person who had interrupted them this time; he was becoming more eager to kick someone's head in every time it happened. Looking back at Lucy Jane, he almost growled at how goddamn sexy she looked; clothes tousled, skin rosy, and lips swollen. Had it not been for the way she was refusing to meet his gaze, he would have kissed her again without a second thought.

Instead, he reached a hand up and thumbed her lower lip. Her eyes fluttered closed for half a second, and she let out a soft breath. Smirking, Curly turned and left.

She had tasted just as he remembered - just like coffee - and he vaguely wondered if were he to start drinking it, would it quench his thirst? Rubbing his hand over her face, and inhaling the lingering scent of her hair that smelled like flowers, he seriously doubted it.

XXXXX

Days later Lucy Jane was still thinking about the kiss she had received in the library.

Frustrating wasn't a strong enough word for what had happened … then again, neither was absolute loathing and disgust. It wasn't the kiss she was disgusted about - not for lack of trying on her part - but her reaction to it; her reaction to _him_.

It wasn't just that she couldn't get him out of her mind anymore. Nor was it just that she had absurd thoughts about the two of them doing all kinds of absurd things. It was that she was letting it all happen. Her mind would wander to him, and she would let it. He would find her somewhere secluded to tease her, and she would let him. He would ignore her pathetic denial before kissing her, and glory hallelujah she would let him.

Curly Shepard was a thorn in her side in more ways than one.

She couldn't get enough of his touch, his voice, his presence, but it was all so wrong. She no longer dreaded the end of school days because it meant coming home, but because she knew she wouldn't see him until the next day. She had no qualms about finding herself alone in a quiet corner at school, knowing he might find her, and that was simply outrageous.

"Lucy Jane!" her mother snapped.

She looked up from her open history notebook and at her mother. "Yes?"

Constance glared. "I've been calling you for ten minutes; did you not hear me?"

Her voice was condescending, but all Lucy Jane could do was shake her head. Of course she hadn't - her mind had been entirely focused on Curly.

"I was studying."

Flipping her curly hair over her shoulder, Constance crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

"Yes, well. We're leaving for the Matherses' house in a matter of minutes; the phone number is still on the fridge, but only call if you desperately need to."

Lucy Jane almost smirked. Her parents and Harry went to the Matherses' for dinner once a month without fail, but she had always done her best to get out of it. As far she was concerned, the Matherses were the most horrible people she knew. Mrs. Mathers was a bigger gossip than Joanna, Mr. Mathers - her father's business partner - was well known for cheating on his wife, and she was fairly certain their son, Gregory, hadn't quite caught onto the concept of soap yet. And he was a disgusting pervert.

Constance had been deeply embarrassed when Lucy Jane had very politely - yet very loudly - asked him to take his hand off of her thigh during dinner six months back. She had been even more horrified when Lucy Jane had continued to point out that she was only voicing her problem aloud because her whispers for him to quit touching her inappropriately had gone unnoticed. Constance hadn't made her go with them since.

It all worked out rather well for Lucy Jane, because - coincidentally enough - their dinner parties with the Matherses' happened to coincide perfectly with her phone calls from Josie. Maybe embarrassing her mother wasn't the worst thing in the world, after all.

She nodded. "I won't call."

"That reminds me," Constance said. "I had a call from one of your teachers today."

Lucy Jane's heart sank. "Which one?"

"Miss Perry; she said she teaches you Spanish."

"She does. Why did she call?" Lucy Jane suddenly found the table particularly interesting. Whether this was about her low grade on their last test or her fight with Curly a while back, she didn't know. She also wasn't sure which would be worse.

Her mother was as close to sneering as she would allow herself to be. "She said you've been getting into some trouble with some boy."

It was almost amusing that the trouble her mother was insinuating her daughter was getting into was just the kind of trouble she _was_ getting into. Thankfully, neither Constance nor Miss Perry knew that.

"It was just a few arguments," she muttered.

"Don't mumble, Lucy Jane, it's rude."

Her father decided to come in at that moment, and he smiled at her when he noticed her doing her homework. It had been this way for as long as Lucy Jane could remember; where her mother had the beautiful looks, and Josie had the likable personality, Lucy Jane had always been the smart one, and her father had taken to that. Assuming he was never going to have a son to follow in his career footsteps, and realising Josie had no interest in school, Arthur had placed all of his hopes on of one of his children becoming a lawyer onto Lucy Jane. And she had always liked it. She wanted to do well at school, go to college, become a lawyer … make her dad proud and get away from her mother.

She looked at Constance, who was still staring at her, waiting for an answer. An answer Lucy Jane was even less keen on giving with her father in the room. Not much riled him up, and they had a good relationship, but knowing she was getting into trouble at school could be a problem.

She fidgeted in her seat. "I said it was only a few arguments; nothing important."

"If it was nothing important then your teacher wouldn't have called me," her mother said.

"Your teacher called, Lucy Jane?"

"Daddy, it's really nothing -"

Constance interrupted. "Your teacher also told me this boy is not the kind of boy you should be arguing with."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lucy Jane could have slapped herself for the defensive tone to her voice. She had no idea where on earth that had come from.

"It means you should not be getting into any kind of situation with boys from the other side of town. I'm sure you've heard stories about them at school. They're nothing but trouble, and it would do you best to stay away from them."

After everything that had happened, Lucy Jane couldn't have agreed more. She kept quiet, though - agreeing, but refusing to do so aloud.

"I don't want to hear about anymore of these disagreements, Lucy Jane." Arthur was frowning down at her, and she hated that he had overheard this conversation. "You need to be concentrating on your schoolwork."

She opened her mouth, more than happy to agree with him, but her mother got there first.

"Your father's right. The last thing we need is our name sullied by you following in Josie's footsteps." Constance's voice was harsh.

Lucy Jane bit her lip and said nothing as her parents left the room. Sometimes, times like these, she truly disliked her mother. It didn't seem to matter how good she did in school, how many respectable friends she had, or how unlike Josie she was, Constance Cooper was still adamant Lucy Jane was going to embarrass her somehow.

It almost tempted her to do exactly that.

But then she realised just how right her mother was. She was being incredibly stupid regarding Curly. Public stare downs, public arguments, public displays of affection - none of those were good ideas. Neither was the constant way her mind would run in his direction, the way she was still looking for him everywhere she went, or the ridiculous fantasies she was still having about him.

He wasn't a good person - he was a hood, he jumped people, and he stole. For goodness sake, he was a _criminal_.

It was just disappointing to her that it had been her mother who had to remind her of all of that.

"Goodbye, Lucy Jane!" Harry called to her. He blew her a kiss as Constance picked him up, slamming the door closed behind them before Lucy Jane could reply.

She sighed and tried to go back to her history notes. It didn't matter what her mother said, it didn't matter how incredibly stupid she was being, and it didn't matter that her reaction to him was always exactly what he wanted from her. She couldn't stop thinking about him, and she was positive that wasn't about to stop anytime soon.

New Years was supposed to have been her turning point - the moment she would begin to forget about Curly Shepard, and attempt to move on. Sure, she'd had a little too much to drink, she had partied until the wee hours, and she had kissed another boy. It had seemed as though her plan to forget Curly could have been working, but it wasn't. None of it had mattered.

The more she drank, the more shocking thoughts she had about Curly. The more she partied, the more she wished she could leave. The more she kissed Roger, the more she wished it had been Curly she was kissing.

She supposed that was why she hadn't put up much of a fight in the library the other day. She had wanted him to kiss her, just like she had at the bowling alley during winter break, and just like she had all those weeks ago in the deserted hallway at school.

He had been right when he had accused her of avoiding him. Her New Years plan of getting him out of her head hadn't worked at all - avoiding him had seemed like the only thing she could do.

It had only worked for a week.

She wasn't sure it ever would again.

The phone rang then, pulling her thoughts away from Curly. She jumped to grab it.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Luce." Josie's voice was muffled with static.

Lucy Jane smiled. "Where are you?"

"I don't even know," Josie said, laughing. "We've been travelling for a few days, and we've stopped at some rundown hotel."

Sitting back in her seat, Lucy Jane began to doodle in her notebook as their conversation progressed. Usually, she simply listened to her sister tell all kinds of stories about what she had been doing, because usually she had nothing interesting to add to the conversation. But when Josie asked what she had been up to, it all came out.

"Well, there's this boy -" she began.

"A boy? Lucy Jane, please don't tell me you've fallen for one of those stuck-up boys Mom expects you to marry once you've finished high school and given up on every idea you've ever had of college."

"Actually, Curly is … well, he's not at all the kind of boy Mom and Daddy would want me with."

She could practically hear Josie's smirk. "You should marry him."

"Goodness, Josie, I can't stop thinking about him. Everything about him makes me so angry, but when he touches me I melt. I absolutely melt."

"He's touched you?" Of course Josie got herself happily stuck on those words.

"We've kissed," Lucy Jane admitted.

"And did you enjoy the kiss?"

She said nothing; sure she had already said to much and made a fool out of herself.

Josie took her silence as answer, and let out what Lucy Jane could almost consider a squeal. "Oh, Lucy Jane, isn't it wonderful?"

"No," she snapped. "It's not wonderful at all. It's terrible and I want it to stop."

"Why?"

She paused. She wasn't sure she could explain to her sister, who was the most non-judgmental person she knew, that thinking about a hood like Curly just wasn't good for her. If anyone found out, it would kill her reputation.

"He used to be a greaser," she said, quietly. "In fact, the only reason he's not now is because no one uses that term anymore. He's a criminal, Josie. He's been in and out of reform school, he's in a gang, and no doubt he'll end up in prison once he turns eighteen."

"Right … and the problem is?"

She rolled her eyes. "You're kidding me, right? Can you imagine what would happen if I started dating him? Mom and Dad would go ballistic, and all my friends would hate me."

"Maybe," Josie said. "But, if those are the kind of friends you have, are they really worth giving up possible love for?"

_Love_? This had nothing to do with love, but considering her sister was all about love and peace, Lucy Jane decided against saying anything.

"You have to do what makes you happy, Luce Jane."

For the first time since this situation with Curly began, Lucy Jane's eyes began to water. "But … I don't know what that is."

Josie sighed and whispered something to someone in the background. "Luce, I have to go."

"Oh, okay."

"Listen to me, Lucy Jane. Don't you worry about anyone else but yourself, okay? You follow your heart - it'll take you somewhere amazing."

She nodded, not sure if her sister truly believed what she was saying, if she was just sprouting off some hippie jargon, or if she was completely high. "Sure, Josie."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

"I love you, Lucy Jane. Talk to you in a month."

She hung up the phone. _Follow your heart - it'll take you somewhere amazing?_ If only it was as easy as it sounded.

_Don't know where you're goin', only know just where you've been,  
__Sweet little baby, I want you again_

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**A/N: **As usual, thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, and thanks to all who reviewed. I appreciate all comments and feedback :)


	7. Fire

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Fire" by Bruce Springsteen.

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**CHAPTER SEVEN**

_I'm driving in my car, I turn on the radio,  
__I'm pulling you close, you just say no _

Lucy Jane sighed and tried her car again, unable to believe the complete bad luck she was having.

Her car had broken down, it was raining, her parents had already left for their weekend away, and she had Harry with her. A broken down car, in the rain, and with no parents to call was something she could handle. She could leave it, run to her dad's office or anywhere nearby that had a phone and call Emmy, Joanna, or even Roger. But with Harry there, it became difficult. The last thing she needed was to drag him the few blocks to a phone and have him get soaked by the rain. He had his little yellow raincoat with him as a precaution, but that wouldn't hold off much.

Plus, he was still asking when they were going to go feed the ducks, and she hated to disappoint him.

Tapping her hands against the steering wheel, she wondered what to do. She couldn't leave Harry in the car alone, but taking him out in the rain wasn't such a hot idea either. She supposed they could wait for the rain to let up a bit and make a run for it - both the Ribbon and her dad's office were only a few blocks away. She glanced in the rear vision mirror at her little brother; was a little rain worth it?

She quickly decided it was when she looked back out the window and noticed the smoke coming from the hood.

"Oh my God," she muttered, undoing her seatbelt and jumping out.

She opened the back door, unbuckled Harry from his seat, and pulled him out into the rain. Seconds later, she was holding him in her arms and standing beneath the shelter an empty warehouse gave out. This was just what she needed to top off a fabulous week.

"What's the matter with the car, Lucy Jane?" Harry asked.

She sighed and sat him down so she could get his coat on him. "I don't know."

"Is it broken?"

"I think it might be."

"Do we get to walk home in the rain?"

_Get to_? She gave him a half-frown, amused that he wanted to walk home in the rain, but decided against it. They would not be walking home in the rain; they were going to walk a few blocks to her dad's office and hope someone would be around to pick them up.

Throwing one last sad look at her car, she picked Harry up, and began down the street. Shivering, she wished she'd thought to bring a jacket of her own with her, rather than just her coat; her hair was already plastered to her face, and she would be lucky to get out of this without a cold. _Harry_ would be lucky to get out of this without a cold, even with his coat.

As the rain came down harder and Harry finished off his fourth verse of "Rain, Rain Go Away", her father's office building came into view at the other end of the street. It was just unfortunate for her that the car pulling up behind them had an owner who wanted to chat.

At least, she told herself it was unfortunate.

"Hey." The voice was deep and she knew it right away. It sent another shiver through her cold body.

She turned, ignoring the feeling of something very similar to relief fill her. She looked at Curly, standing in the rain with his car door open. He was getting completely drenched as he looked at her, but he didn't seem to mind.

Looking up and down the road, she bit her lip. This was her first encounter with him since their kiss in the library. She wasn't sure about him, but figured it was better him pulling up in front of her than some other hood she _didn't_ know.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, holding onto the hood of Harry's coat so he didn't get any wetter.

He smirked. "Just drivin' around and saw ya. Whaddya doin' walkin' out here?"

"Nothing." She shook her head, unsure of why she hadn't yet told him to get lost. "I mean, my car broke down a few blocks back, but …"

But, what? She had no idea what to say to him in this kind of situation. Every other encounter they'd had had been angry, intense, teasing from the very beginning. This was … civil.

Curly raised an eyebrow. "No kiddin'? You guys need a ride?"

"We're gonna go see the ducks," Harry called out before Lucy Jane could answer, waving his bag of bread in her face.

"It's fine," she said. "The rain will probably let up again soon, and my dad's office is just down the road. I can use the phone there."

"Oh yeah? What's he do?"

Lucy Jane had the distinct impression that Curly Shepard was making small talk with her, despite the rain soaking them both. It made her weary, but she was almost sure he was doing it so he could stick around for a while. The weary part came when she realised she didn't mind too much.

"He's a lawyer," she said.

"Huh." He grinned. "Maybe I should hire him next time the fuzz pick me up."

She failed miserably at hiding a smile at his attempt at humour. "I really don't think you'll be able to afford him," she said.

"Probably not." He seemed to be watching her rather closely. "Hey, why don't ya let me give ya a ride? We can even stop somewhere and see some ducks, if ya like?"

He looked as surprised at his own words as she felt, and she looked at him, trying to figure out what he wanted from her. His gaze was slowly moving between her and Harry, and it wasn't until a small frown appeared on his face that she decided to agree.

She swallowed. "Okay."

The grin he gave her melted her heart. Sliding back into his car, he unlocked the passenger and back doors for her.

Lucy Jane opened the back door and buckled Harry in. Her brother, having obviously taken a quick shine to Curly, began chattering animatedly about the ducks they were going to see and the bread they were going to feed them. When she closed Harry's door and went for her own, it opened from the inside and her heart fluttered. She couldn't help but consider that to be Curly's very own brand of chivalry.

Climbing in, she did her best not to raise an eyebrow at the ripped seats and dirty floor. She supposed she had no right, really, what with the state she was in. Pulling down the visor, she attempted to push her sopping hair away from face, before realising just what she was doing and who she was doing it with. She gave a sideways glance at Curly, staring as he pulled away from the side-walk and into the street. He didn't seem to be affected by what was happening, but she couldn't help noticing the air bristle at the small, enclosed space between them.

She closed the visor and sat back. Their entire exchange so far was unusual. There had been no anger, no irritation at each other, and no nasty words said by either of them. She wasn't sure civil was the right word for it anymore - not after the grin he had given her. Just thinking about it made her palms clammy.

Sitting as far away from him as she could, she looked out the window at the buildings speeding by, trying to control the urge to tell him to pull over and kiss her. That just wouldn't be right. For one, was her little brother still talking to himself in the backseat, and two, it was Curly Shepard. She … well, she could even lie to herself anymore about not wanting him to kiss her, but she knew for certain that she shouldn't want him to kiss her.

Plus, she was pretty sure she almost had a boyfriend now. Maybe. She still wasn't entirely sure how that had happened, or how she really felt about Roger, but he had taken to spending an awful lot of time around her while at school.

She sighed, pushing all thoughts out of her head and turning to Curly.

"We live over on Bledisloe Avenue," she told him.

He gave her a quick glance. "Good to know."

"I meant so you know where to take us," she said. "You need to know where we live to drop us off."

He dug around in his pockets for a minute, and she waited for his reply as he pulled out his smokes and lit up, still steering with his knees. She watched silently as he inhaled before blowing out a perfect smoke ring, and all she could think about was how bad Roger's kiss had compared to Curly's.

"I ain't droppin' ya off," he said, pulling her attention away from him lips. "We're gonna go see some ducks."

Harry gave a happy cry from the backseat, but Lucy Jane frowned.

"No, we're not," she hissed.

"I thought y'all wanted to go see the ducks?" Curly looked at her - wide-eyed and innocent.

She saw right through it. "You - you don't want to see any ducks. You just want to get me alone."

He chuckled and she felt like a popsicle on a summer's day. Everything about him made her feel … silly and giggly and nervous.

"I know a real nice place," he said. "The rain's almost stopped so we can get outta the car, and it's secluded enough for no one to see ya with a greaser like me." He glanced in the rear view mirror. "And there're ducks."

He raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to find some worthwhile excuse, but she really didn't have anything. Realising there was no way she could - would - say no, she huffed, silently telling herself it was so Harry could feed those darn ducks. To force her mind off of Curly, she leaned forward and turned up the radio, smiling at the familiar song.

"This is crap," he said, after a few second. He was glaring at the radio.

"I like this song," she defended.

He gave her a look as the song continued, and she blushed - whether from his look, or because the song was called "Touch Me", she wasn't sure.

"The Doors? Really?" he asked.

"What's wrong with them?"

He shrugged, smirking at her. "Nothin', I guess. I wouldn't waste my money on 'em, though."

Lucy Jane gave him a look. "It wouldn't be wasted money, Curly; they're good. I like them. I still need to get their newest record, but my sister just saw them in concert a while ago."

They were silent again, and Curly was still smirking. She decided ignoring him was probably a better idea than getting all talkative like she had. She stayed silent, crossing her arms over her chest and frowning at him as he drove. She couldn't decide if she had been right - that he was just trying to get her alone - or if maybe, just maybe, he was being nice. It seemed unlikely, but why else would he be doing what he was doing? Her little brother was there for goodness sakes. He can't have thought she would do anything with him if Harry was there

"What's his name?"

Her frown disappeared and she blushed when Curly caught her staring at him.

"Whose name?" she muttered.

"The kid's."

"Oh." She smiled slightly. "His name is Harry."

XXXXX

Her smile had been real, more real than any smile he had seen her give any of her friends, and it had made him realise something. Maybe Lucy Jane wasn't the cold-hearted bitch he thought she was. She could be, but her smile - despite being pretty enough to make his stomach feel funny - had been genuine. And it had been for her little brother.

Curly could see she obviously loved him. It made sense, he supposed, but he'd always thought of her as caring for no one but herself. As she leaned down and helped her kid brother break up his bread, it became quickly obvious to Curly that he'd been wrong.

"Stay away from the water, baby," she said to Harry, before standing straight.

Sitting on the hood of his car, he watched her watch her brother, wishing for all the world that she would just relax already. He might have a shady record, but she was almost acting as though he had brought her there to kill her. He smirked as she slowly turned to him.

"You comin'?"

She looked at him for a moment, and he could see the internal debate going on inside her head. Was it safe to sit next to him? Would he try something with her? Would it be better for everyone if she just stayed where she was?

He wasn't sure he even knew the answers to those questions.

Then again, he wasn't even sure what he was doing. Picking up a girl like Lucy Jane and bringing her to the lake - even if it was so her brother could feed the ducks - was about the stupidest thing he could do. It could get him in a lot of trouble if he wasn't careful, and he had known that even as he'd pulled his car up behind her in town.

"Your car's wet," she said.

He grinned at her, shrugged off his leather jacket, and sat it next to him on the hood. If a wet car was the only reason she wasn't sitting next to him, then he was going to do his best to make the reason nonexistent.

"Problem fixed," he said, waving his arms through the space next to him.

She swallowed. "Won't you get cold?"

"Don't get cold much," he told her, and she gave him a sharp look.

Screw it; he didn't give two shits about the trouble this could cause. She had climbed onto the hood, was sitting rather closely thanks to where he had placed his jacket, and he wasn't going to complain. This was what he wanted.

"This place is real nice," she said quietly. "Do you come here a lot?"

"Sometimes. My house is kinda loud, and it's quiet here." He grinned at her attempt at small talk. "You oughtta feel special; I ain't brought anyone else here."

She blushed. "How did you find it?"

Curly gave her a smirk. "Well, there was this party - plenty of free booze …"

"And you just happened to stumble upon this place," she finished for him.

He grinned, saying nothing.

"What were you doing near my dad's office?" she asked. "It's a bit far from your side of town."

He wasn't doing a quick scope of a nearby restaurant for Tim, that was for sure. He smirked, deciding she'd see right through that lie.

"Just drivin'," he said.

She nodded, and a silence fell between them. He wanted to kiss her again. He always wanted to kiss her, but when she looked so dishevelled and unlike her usual perfect self, he wanted it even more.

"Listen," she began, pausing for a long moment. "I - thanks … for stopping."

Digging in his pockets, he pulled out his smokes and lit up. "Greasers have manners, too, you know?"

She went red again, and he wondered just how many times he could make her blush in a day. That could be a fun experiment.

"I wasn't about to leave you there," he said. "It was raining and you had a kid with ya."

"Yes, well, thanks anyway."

"Was your dad's office really only up the street?" he asked.

She nodded.

"I s'pose he'll be pissed if I don't get ya home on time."

Lucy Jane scoffed. "Not likely."

He raised an eyebrow and glory be, she blushed again.

"I just mean that he won't even know," she said. "My parents have gone out of town for the weekend."

Curly wasn't the smartest guy around, but he was sure he detected a tiny bit of resentment in her voice. He quietly wondered what that was about before deciding against asking.

"Who were you gonna call then? For a ride?"

She shrugged, eyes on her brother. "I don't know. Probably Emmy or -" She stopped, gaze meeting his for a second.

"Or?" he prompted.

"Or Roger." Her voice was quiet and she wasn't looking at him.

"Roger." The name was like acid rolling off his tongue. "He your boyfriend?"

He kept his tone casual. On one hand, the idea of her having a boyfriend made him a little sick. His mind went back to the thoughts he'd had over Christmas break - thoughts her with a boy, touching a boy, letting a boy touch her - and his stomach felt queasy again.

But on the other hand, the look she had given him before mentioning _Roger_ sure had been something. She hadn't wanted to tell him about Roger and there had to be a reason for that - a reason she hadn't wanted him to know about another guy.

She was looking at him carefully and he stared right back, willing her to say no.

"He's … well, I don't know what he is," she finally said.

"Huh."

They were silent, and the almost peace that had been surrounding them was gone, replaced by a tense air that seemed too thick to see through. Curly didn't even know why it bothered him that she had a … whatever Roger was. It wasn't as if he liked her - he just couldn't get enough of her.

"I don't think he's my boyfriend," she said, so quietly that he could barely hear her.

He fought a smirk. "That right?"

"He's a nice boy - a nice distraction - but …" She trailed off, shrugging.

"A nice distraction from what?" he asked, hoping like hell she said his name.

"Oh, nothing really," she said, watching Harry as the rain started back up.

Curly said nothing, but his mind went back to the smile he had seen when she told him her brother's name. He wanted to see it again, he wanted to hear more, and he never wanted her to leave.

"Your parents go away often?" The words were out before he even thought them through, and he knew it was probably the best thing he could do it make sure he _never_ saw that smile again.

She glared at him. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what it does mean," he said, trying not to chuckle. He might have liked her smile, but he sure missed her getting riled up at him. "I'm just curious is all. You made it sound as though they weren't around all that much."

"They …" Again, she trailed off, and the anger in her eyes was replaced by something he would almost call hurt if he wasn't still sure she was incapable of those kind of feelings. "They're not around much."

"Where are they?"

She shrugged. "Parties, dinners, my dad works a lot, too."

"That can't be easy." He was almost sure that was the right thing to say.

"It's not too bad," she said. "He always comes home for dinner, and we talk a lot then."

"What about your mom? She home much?"

"More than my dad, but …"

He couldn't not encourage her to continue. "But what?"

"Well, unless I do something to embarrass her, she's more interested in having the right china to use at her next party, than she is in me."

He raised an eyebrow and she continued.

"Though, to be honest, I think I sometimes prefer it when she takes no notice of me. At least then I don't feel like I have to conform to what she wants me to be." She looked at him. "Is that bad?"

Curly shook his head. "You shouldn't have to change for anyone."

She sighed. "Sometimes I really don't like her." Her mouth snapped shut as soon as the words were out, as though she couldn't believe what she'd just said.

He couldn't believe it himself. Sure, no one's life was perfect, but he had figured Lucy Jane had it pretty good. Maybe he was wrong. She might have had the money, but maybe she didn't have everything.

"I - I didn't mean -"

He cut her off. Without thinking, he reached out and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear as the rain came harder. She turned away from looking at her brother to look at him, and he kept his hand where it was, resting in her wet hair. He knew it was probably a bad idea, what with her brother being there, but he wrapped his hand further into her hair and pulled her head closer.

She pulled back.

"You can't keep doing this," she said, voice strangled.

"Doin' what?"

"Kissing me." She jumped off of the car and stood in front of him, rain pelting down on them. "You can't keep forcing me to kiss you."

Curly stood. "I ain't forced you to do shit," he said angrily.

"I don't mean literally. But you know as well as I do that you've used your -" she waved an arm in his direction, "- _charms_ against me."

He grinned. "My _charms_?"

"I'm not like the other girls you usually pick up; I don't go around kissing boys. I'm not that kind of girl."

Well, she was right about not being that kind of girl, that was for sure.

"You really don't want me to kiss you again?" he asked.

She shook her head. "I really don't."

"Okay." He nodded. "Let's get you home then."

Picking up his jacket, he made his way to the driver's door. He didn't believe her, not even a little, but he wasn't going to push it. There was only so much rejection he would take.

_You say you don't like it, but, girl I know you're a liar,  
_'_cause when we kiss … fire_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. Reviews make me happy :)


	8. Boots and Perfume

**Disclaimer:** I do now own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Hey" by Hanson.

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**CHAPTER EIGHT**

_Your red pumps and your Cadillac blues,  
__You want trips on a white yacht for two_

Scribbling furiously, Lucy Jane corrected her Spanish homework and wished this class came to her as easy as all her other classes. It seemed that no matter how hard she tried, the one language class she had been advised to take became harder and harder everyday. She was getting answers wrong, struggling to keep up, and generally not doing well.

She supposed the fact that her attention during Spanish was solely focused on the person sitting two rows behind her and to the right rather than her teacher might have had something to do with that.

Curly Shepard - he was a mystery. One day he's calling her all sorts of nasty names, the next he's kissing her against walls he really shouldn't be kissing her against, and the next he's _helping_ her. He's helping, and being kind, and … nice. Nothing like the person she thought he was.

But really, who did she think he was? She knew nothing about him, only that he made her slightly crazy. He caused her to make scenes in class. He made her ache for his touch. He had her opening up about her parents after only a few well-placed questions.

She had been herself around him last Friday and she didn't even know why. It could have been the stress, it could have been because Harry was there, or it just could have been because he did that to her. He asked her questions, and she answered honestly, telling him things he had no business knowing, but unable to not tell him.

She sighed and shook her head, pushing all thoughts of him away. No. Curly Shepard had nothing to do with her falling behind in Spanish. Well … he didn't have _everything_ to do with it, anyway. She hadn't been doing very well in Spanish since forever - he was just a distraction that really didn't help.

It bothered her how bad she did in Spanish. She had always been a good student - straight-A's, great attendance, high test scores - but Spanish eluded her. Goodness, any language other than English made her head spin. She could only be glad that the time she didn't have to spend studying for the classes that came easy, could be used for Spanish.

Of course, using that free time was near impossible when someone stood over you, effectively blocking any light the windows in the library were giving out. Lucy Jane steeled herself and looked up, expecting to see Curly standing over her with that handsome smirk on his face.

Instead it was Roger and his handsome smile. Where her heart should have skipped a beat at seeing him, it sank slightly.

"Hi, Roger," she said, softly.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked.

_Yes_. "Of course not."

She looked at him expectantly, wondering what he was doing there. It was lunchtime after all - he should be with his friends, not in the library with her. Sure, he had been trying to spend an awful amount of time with her lately, but he hadn't ever been pushy. She figured there must have been something he wanted.

"Listen," he began, leaning forward slightly. "I was thinking maybe we could go out this weekend?"

Lucy Jane licked her lips. "Like, a date?"

Roger nodded. "Yes. You know I like you, Lucy Jane, and we had a good time over New Years, right?"

"We did."

"So what do you say? It doesn't have to be anything serious, just dinner and a movie maybe."

Dinner and a movie. That sounded … reasonable. Roger didn't bore her to death, he was nice to look at, and he treated her well. She wasn't sure there was a good reason to say no to him. So she nodded, pretending she wasn't thinking about Curly.

"That sounds really good."

Was it considered lying if it was only a half-truth? She didn't know, but decided against worrying about it. Dinner and a movie did sound good. Much better than sitting on the hood of a car in the rain.

"Great." Roger's grin was large and she smiled back. "I'll sort it all out and let you know the details in a few days. Oh, and I'll make sure not to tell Joanna anything; you know what a gossip she is."

"Great," she repeated, waving slightly as he turned and left the library.

Well, it wasn't terrible.

Dragging her eyes away from the library doorway and swearing that she wasn't waiting for someone else to come in, she looked back down at her homework. She huffed; the last answer she'd written down was wrong. Of course it was.

The end of lunch bell rang a few minutes later, and Lucy Jane gathered up her books and made her way to Biology. She still wasn't sure she had done the right thing by agreeing to go out with Roger. He might be a good distraction, but did she really want it? As much as the situation was bothering her, and as much as she tried not to, she liked thinking about Curly. But the thoughts, memories, and completely foolish fantasies she had were just that - foolish.

But they made her feel warm.

According to the teacher, her lab partner was away and she was to work with Ponyboy Curtis that day. She looked back at Ponyboy; he was one of those greasers that had a good reputation. He had been in some trouble a few years back, but he was generally a nice guy and was well accepted. She gave him a small smile as she stood from her seat, knowing exactly who he was, and exactly who she had seen him with over the past few weeks.

"Hi, Ponyboy," she said when she reached him.

He gave her a strange look and she suddenly questioned just how much Curly had told his friends about her. She felt sick, wondering if they were all having a good laugh behind her back.

"Hi," Ponyboy said, moving his books out of her way.

She sat, small frown on her face, and back stiff. Maybe she was just jumping to conclusions. Surely if Curly had told anyone what had happened she would know about it. She could just imagine the looks, smirks, and ridicule she would be receiving if anyone knew.

Pushing that worry out of her head for the time being, she began working with Ponyboy but continued thinking about Curly. That wasn't even a little bit surprising - she was always thinking about Curly.

She stole a glance at Ponyboy, wondering. Wondering if he knew, because she couldn't push that fear out of her head. Wondering if Curly was really the jerk who had caused her to get a detention just for fun. Wondering if Curly was really the nice guy who had helped her out last week when her car had broken down.

"Ponyboy," she began, unsure where she was going.

He looked at her and smiled. Goodness, he was extremely handsome. "Everythin' okay?"

She nodded. "Yes, I was just curious … I mean, um, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been having some trouble lately …"

Good Lord, she was awkward. She had no idea what she was planning to say, only that she was suddenly asking Ponyboy about something she should have absolutely no interest in.

"Trouble with Bio?" he asked. "'Cause I gotta tell ya, it ain't my best subject either."

She shook her head. "No, not with Bio. With, um … well, with Curly Shepard."

Ponyboy grinned a little and her heart sank; Curly had been telling people.

"Yeah, I noticed you two ain't been gettin' along all that well."

Lucy Jane eyed him coolly, unsure if that was really all he knew. "Well," she said. "I was just curious whether he's as much of a …"

"Hood?" Ponyboy offered when she trailed off.

"I wasn't going to say hood, but the words juvenile delinquent certainly went through my head."

Ponyboy cocked an eyebrow. "There is a reason he's in and outta juvie, ya know?"

She didn't answer because, if she were honest with herself, it really hadn't been what she had wanted to hear.

"He's got a record and he ain't ashamed of it," Ponyboy said, eyeing her carefully. "He _is_ a hood, I ain't gonna deny that, but he ain't the idiot everything think's he is."

"Really?"

"Sure. He makes some stupid decisions that get him into some stupid shit, but he's got a mind of his own. He ain't an idiot."

"Just a jerk?" she asked, unable to help herself.

Ponyboy smirked. "You only think that 'cause he got ya a detention. He ain't a jerk."

She smirked right back. "You only think that because he's your friend. He's never been anything but nasty to me."

That wasn't true, but Ponyboy didn't seem to know that, nor did he need to know that.

He shrugged. "Maybe, but I ain't complainin'. He's always had my back."

She swallowed and looked away. That was what she had wanted to hear. She didn't know what she was supposed to do with it now that she had it, but the warm feeling inside her grew at the idea of Curly being … loyal. Because that was basically what Ponyboy was telling her.

She said nothing else and went back to her work, ignoring the confused look Ponyboy was giving her.

XXXXX

Curly was back at the lake. He had stayed away from it for the last few days, but lying on the hood of his car, his mind began to wonder to Lucy Jane and what the fuck had he been thinking by bringing her there? To the one part of the lake that he considered his own for a while now.

It wasn't as if he went there to think or anything equally as wimpy, but he did like the privacy of it. After years of his parents fighting, Angel's screams, and loud parties, the quiet of the clearing he had taken Lucy Jane and her kid brother to had been nice.

But taking Lucy Jane and her kid brother there had been a mistake. One that became very apparent when a shiny, obviously working '66 Thunderbird rumbled into his secluded clearing not twenty minutes after Curly arrived.

His heart thumped as the car was turned off and someone slowly climbed out. He didn't know what to make of this, but was pretty sure nothing good could come of it. Ignoring her, he stayed where he was on the hood of his car, back resting against his windscreen.

Small feet approached, and he looked at her when she stood in front of him. Gosh, but she sure was pretty. All thoughts of having brought her to the lake being a mistake quickly left, and he smirked.

"How's it goin'?"

She pursed her lips and frowned slightly. "It's going okay."

He nodded. "Glad to hear it."

"Really?"

Sitting up, he gave her a grin. "Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"Because I'm a stuck-up rich girl and you hate me?" she offered, with a raise of her eyebrow.

Curly chuckled. "To be honest, _girl_ isn't as polite as the word I've been using, but I don't hate you."

She looked as though she were torn between calling him a useless hood for what he was sure she knew he was calling her, and being completely dumbfounded by his words. He watched as she carefully climbed onto the hood next to him.

"You don't hate me?"

She sounded unsure that Curly frowned. Sure, he had spent a lot of time hating her, but surely he had made it completely obvious by now how much he _didn't_ hate her. He didn't know when that had changed, but knew it was before he had stopped thinking of her as a stuck-up little rich bitch last Friday.

He hadn't been able to stop thinking about her since - which wasn't any different to any other day - but this was something else. This was him realising she _wasn't_ just a stuck-up bitch like he thought. This was him realising she had real problems, too. This was him realising he didn't want things to continue how they had been.

It was also why he had steered clear of her since.

"You know I don't," he said softly. "Do you hate me?" He already knew the answer to this. She was _almost_ putty in his hands - there was no way she hated him.

"Of course I don't hate you," she said, as though it was the silliest suggestion she'd ever heard.

"You just can't quite decide if you should be around me, or stay the hell away, right?"

She shook her head. "No. I _know_ I should stay away from you."

"But?"

A long moment passed before she answered. "I just don't know if I want to."

"I think you do know."

She threw him a glare. "I'm going to go. I shouldn't have come here anyway."

"Then why did ya?"

Pausing in her very slow movements to climb off of his car, she looked at him. "Well, I was … frustrated about some stuff. This is where I ended up."

He wondered if she read as much into that as he did. It was where she ended up? As far a he was concerned, that answered her own questions about whether or not she wanted to stay away from him.

"What're ya frustrated about?"

She shrugged. "My mom, I guess. She's … she's just so trying. Harry can do no wrong in her eyes - which I can understand because Harry can do no wrong in _my_ eyes - but she's just waiting for the day I follow in my sister's footsteps and ruin her life."

He was surprised by her outburst, but let it go. "What did your sister do?"

Lucy Jane actually gave him a small smile. "She took off almost a year ago. Ran away to be a hippie."

"Your sister's a hippie, and your old lady thinks you're gonna go the same way?" He shook his head. "But you're so …"

"So what?" she asked, looking at him sharply.

He grinned. "Pretty."

She rolled her eyes and ignored that, but he saw the small smile that played on her lips. "I'm not exactly the type to become a hippie, I know, so there's no way I'll be following Josie."

"But your mom still expects you to screw up?"

"It's the only time she bothers with me; when she's worried someone will find out about something that's just a tiny bit imperfect - talking to boys in cars along the Ribbon, a loose button on my shirt -" she threw him a look, "- arguing with boys at school."

Curly felt bad, and not just for the comment about arguing with him. He felt bad for her. She didn't seem too bothered by the lack of attention she received from her old lady, but it still wasn't cool. He remembered what she had said the last time she had been there - that sometimes she really didn't like her mom. He was beginning to understand why.

Watching Lucy Jane, he waited for her to say something else. When she didn't, he changed the subject.

Nodding, he leaned back again. "I came here 'cause I was pissed as hell."

"What about?" she asked, looking a little relaxed at the subject change.

"Tim, my brother."

She nodded and settled back next to him. "He's the gang leader, right?"

"Yeah." He gave her a grin. "Believe it or not, but he brushes me off more than you do."

His attempt at a joke didn't go over so well when she blushed and looked away.

"I don't expect no special treatment or anythin', just 'cause he's my brother, but we've got this -" he paused, giving her a sly grin "- _job_ tomorrow night, and he's given me the one job that requires nothin' but standing around waiting. All because I got suspended a few weeks back."

"That hardly seems fair," she said.

"You ain't kidding. I mean, I know I made some mistakes in the past, but he's got no faith in me at all. He sure knows how to make me feel useless."

"You're not useless," she said, sounding completely sure of herself.

"I'm not?" he asked, eyebrow raised in curiosity at her words. He knew he wasn't useless, but it sure was interesting that she seemed to think he wasn't.

"Of course not."

"And how d'you know that? We only share one class."

Her eyes narrowed and she looked away. "That's just my opinion is all."

Sitting up, Curly watched her, reminding himself that following the blush making it's way up her neck with his tongue wasn't a good idea.

"Just your opinion? How'd you come up with that one?"

She huffed, looking at him. "You just don't give up, do you?"

"Baby, it's been a month since I first kissed ya and I'm still trying; can't you tell I'm persistent?"

His voice was low and he could see the effect it had on her when her eyes lowered to his lips and she fidgeted. He smirked, wondering if this was part of the _charms_ she had accused him of using on her.

She swallowed, sitting up. "I asked about you."

"You asked about me?"

"Yes. I had to partner up with Ponyboy Curtis in Bio the other day because both our partners were away."

"And you asked about me." He nodded, smirking at her. "What exactly did ya ask?"

She shot him a dirty look. "I asked if you were as dirty and greasy as you look."

Curly chuckled. "Oh yeah? What did Pony have to say 'bout that?"

"He said you are," she snapped. She continued in a softer voice. "But then he said that you're a good person, too. He said you've always got his back, but that you make some bad decisions sometimes."

If anyone was going to get it, it was Pony. Everyone else - including his own brother - seemed to think he was an idiot who purposefully did idiot things with idiot consequences. He wasn't. He had grown up more than Tim bothered to realise. He still made bad decisions - the person sitting next to him could probably be considered one of the worst yet - but he wasn't an idiot.

"And what did you think about that?" he asked, softly.

She shrugged. "I don't know, really."

He smirked, and subtly reached for her hand. "Maybe we should hang out here more often. You seem pretty set in your ways about me not kissin' ya, but you sure seem to talk a lot; tellin' me I ain't useless, spilling the beans about talkin' to Pony … tellin' me about your olds."

She said nothing, but didn't pull her hand back from where he was loosely holding it.

"Don't s'pose you've changed your mind about me kissing ya?"

"I have a date this weekend."

Curly pulled back from where he had been leaning slightly toward her, dropped her hand, and said nothing. A date. A fucking date. He lit up a smoke, inhaling deeply.

He glared at the water and bush in front of them. Why was she even telling him this? If she was so adamant against kissing him, if she was so unsure about whether or not she wanted to be around him when the answer was more than obvious, then why the fuck was she telling him about her date?

"With Roger," she said, as if he wanted the clarification.

"Why're you tellin' me this?"

She shrugged, looking dejected. "I don't know."

She didn't know. He couldn't help the heavy feeling in his gut.

This wasn't fair. It wasn't fair of her to tell him about some other guy she was going to go out with. It wasn't fair that he had opened up to her about Tim and the shitty way he was made to feel. It wasn't fair that she had cheered him up by admitting to asking one of his buddies about him.

It was all completely fucked up and unfair, especially when he had spent the weekend thinking non-stop about her. Coming to realise too many things about her.

He took a deep breath, thinking things through. It didn't matter. Roger, their date - they didn't matter and he had plenty of reasons to back that. The most obvious being that she was sitting next to him at that very moment, not Roger.

Curly saw the way she looked at him, the way she responded to his words, his touch, his presence. He had sat in shock as she had spilled her thoughts on her parents. He was the guy she had been asking about and had reassured wasn't useless.

He knew she didn't want to stay away from him, and was sure she knew it, too. Only she was much more reserved about it. She didn't want to admit it. She had thought about it, even considered it, but she wasn't in the place where she could admit it yet.

But she would be.

"I live on Archer Street," he said.

"You … excuse me?"

He have her a wicked grin. "I can make a point to be home by eleven on Saturday if ya want? That way when your date bombs, you can come see me."

She opened her mouth to reply, but promptly closed it instead. She was silent for a few moments before responding. "I think I should go."

He smirked. "Okay."

She climbed down and turned to look at him. "I shouldn't have come here," she said again.

Leaning back against the window, Curly didn't bother with watching her leave. The progress he made with her never seemed to matter because she always pulled back. She would stop talking, leave, throw the fact that she has a date in his face.

He sighed. It was especially unfair when he had come to realise that he didn't just want to continue teasing her, trying to get a rise out of her. He didn't just want to continue stealing the kisses he could get. He didn't want to continue just seeing her at school and the few times he bumped into her.

It was more than just lust now. He didn't know how it had happened what with hardly knowing the girl, but he sure did like her.

It was especially unfair when he had come to realise he wanted to be with her.

XXXXX

"Keep watch at the checkpoint," Tim had said. "Don't do any exchanges until I show up, and don't fuck up."

Curly wondered if this was considered fucking up. It wasn't his fault, but he was bound to get blamed for it - that was just the way it went.

The entire plan had been flawless. Tim had met these guys a few months back while in prison, and they had gotten a hold of him to do some business once they got out. Not only was it good business for Tim and these guys, but it was a money earner for the whole gang. Quick cash in reasonable size doses and no trace of anything.

All they had to do was steal a few cars and bring them to the checkpoint. Well, a _few_ might have been a bit of an understatement considering the guys Curly and Bobby were meeting were expecting six cars that night alone.

Six cars were a lot in one night, but Tim said that was just these guys making sure the gang was up for it. They were, of course, but according to Tim, once this first job was done it would be two or three cars a night. And nicer cars at that. The kind of cars Lucy Jane drove.

Curly pushed her out of his mind and pressed his hand to his stomach, feeling blood seeping out. Bile rose in his throat, but he pushed it back.

"What the fuck, man?" Bobby was yelling, shrugging off his t-shirt and shoving it at Curly.

"Take a step back, buddy, I've got another four guys in my truck and you'll get the same treatment as your friend there if ya ain't careful," one of the guys said. Curly didn't know which one - they had both looked exactly the same to him. "Neither of you is who we agreed to meet and we ain't putting up with this shit."

Carefully pressing Bobby's t-shirt to the fresh cut in his stomach, he stood as straight as he could, talking through gritted teeth. "I told you, asshole, Tim's my brother."

And he had told him, but apparently that wasn't good enough. They had both assumed they were being played - that either Tim was setting them up, or that some other gang had heard about the deal and was cutting in. Neither was the case; they were just idiots who couldn't see the similarities between Tim and Curly.

He had tried convincing them who he was, but neither believed him. When he had taken a step forward - not even reaching for his wallet to show them his license yet - a switch had been pulled and used and it hurt like a bitch.

Tim's business partners didn't bother replying; six stolen cars and another two that belonged to guys from the gang were pulling into the clearing and parking behind Curly. He took a step back, glaring at the guys in front of him and doing his best to stand upright. He'd been in plenty of fights, but he'd never been knifed before, and ignoring the pain was a lot harder than he had thought it would be. His hands were shaking, and he'd broken out in a cold sweat.

"What the fuck's goin' on?" Tim said, voice low and dangerous.

"We had a plan," one of the guys said, "and there was nothing in it about you not bein' the one to meet us."

Tim stood in front of Curly, hands shoved in pockets. "I'm here ain't I?"

"You're late," the guy who had knifed Curly said.

"I'm right on time," Tim replied. "Curly here was just early."

"Curly here didn't do shit," Bobby interjected. "Goes to get out his fucking license to show these shits he's your brother and they stab him in the gut."

Tim threw a glance at Curly, having only realised exactly what had happened. His eyes narrowed dangerously and he turned back to the guys.

"Either of you touch my brother or any of my boys again, the deal's off. You expect us to pick up the cars we're gonna be gettin' then you better leave you're fucking weapons in your pockets."

Danny Harris came forward to do the deal while Tim led Curly back to Bobby's car.

"How bad is it?"

Curly attempted a shrug, hating the tremble in his body. "Probably worse than it looks."

Tim nodded and Henry Phillips came over. "You need Maria to check it out?" he asked.

Maria Phillips - the same Maria who sat behind Lucy Jane in Spanish, Curly realised - was following in her mom's footsteps and had become the resident nurse for anyone in the gang who got hurt.

"Give us a look," Tim said, pulling Curly's hands and the t-shirt away.

Hissing in pain, Curly looked down, seeing only blood. It made him a little queasy, seeing all that blood coming from his own body, and he looked away.

"S'gonna need stitches," Henry said. "I'll take him to my place and bring him home in a while."

Tim nodded. "Good deal." Looking at Curly, he shrugged off his jacket and gave it to him. "You'll need that for after the stitches," he said with a grin. "Forget those guys. You did a good job, kid."

_You did a good job, kid_. Following Henry to his car, Curly couldn't help but feel like the blade to the gut was almost worth it.

_Your red pumps and your Cadillac blues,  
__You like boots and expensive perfume_

_

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**A/N:** I had no idea just how long this chapter was until I put it in a new document to upload, lol.

As usual, thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, and every one who has reviewed. All comments and concrit are appreciated.


	9. What Is and What Should Never Be

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "What Is and What Should Never Be" by Led Zeppelin.

**A/N:** Rated T for sexual situations.

**

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**CHAPTER NINE**

_That you will be mine,  
__By taking our time_

She hadn't seen Curly all day. Of course, it wasn't even lunch time, but he hadn't caught her gaze that morning, he hadn't smirked at her in the halls, and his car hadn't been anywhere in the parking lot. He wasn't at school. That was fine, though; she could go one school day without seeing Curly … she just wasn't sure she wanted to.

Taking another quick glance around the crowded hallway, Lucy Jane forced her attention back to Joanna and Joanna's new purse. Glory, she sure wished Emmy wasn't sick with a cold. It was hard faking interest almost anything Joanna had to say when Emmy wasn't around. At least with Emmy there, they could fake interest together.

"There was another one in off-white," Joanna said, "but I think I like the green. Lucy Jane, what do you think?"

She nodded. "The green matches your eyes."

Joanna beamed. "That's what I thought!"

Lucy Jane was saved from having to reply when Heather turned up - all blonde, bouncy curls, and an excited gleam in her eyes.

"You'll never believe what just heard."

Gossip. Fantastic. Tuning out, Lucy Jane glanced around the halls again. She wasn't looking for him, but if she happened to spot him … well, if she happened to spot him then she happened to spot him. That was it. It wasn't as though she was going to go and make conversation with him, or that she even cared. She was just curious. For all she knew, he might have just been late and she would see him in Spanish like she always did.

Her stomach dropped when she heard Curly's name mentioned by her friends, and she wondered if perhaps listening to gossip wasn't such a bad idea. She swallowed. Looking at them, she hoped to catch whatever it was they were saying.

"Apparently it was during some gang thing," Heather said.

"What's this?" she asked, trying to sound as indifferent as she could.

"Curly Shepard was stabbed last night," Joanna cut in, before Heather could reply.

She didn't hear anything else after that. Joanna and Heather continued talking, but Lucy Jane didn't hear any of it. Her mouth went dry, the blood drained from her face, and her breath came out in a slow whoosh. Before she could think about what she was doing, she had turned on shaky legs and left her friends standing next to the row of lockers.

Walking down the hall - trying not to choke on the panic she felt - she heard other people talking about what had happened to Curly. Some guys from out of town … knifed him right in the stomach … so much blood …

She felt sick as she made her way out the school doors and to her car. She didn't know how much of what she had heard was true - she didn't even know what a knife wound really looked like. All she knew was that it must have hurt terribly and had to have been dangerous.

Was there really so much blood? _Too_ much blood? She didn't even know how much blood was too much blood, but the thought of it made her fret as she drove out of the parking lot.

She didn't know what she was doing. She didn't know what on earth she was _thinking_ by going where she was, and that made her feel completely out of place. Normally, she had a plan. Not a particularly well thought-out plan, but a general idea of what she was going to do each day. The more time she spent with Curly Shepard, the more chaotic her plan became.

The plan for that day had been simple and the same as most school days. School, friends, Harry - that was it. All to be repeated again the next day. It was simple and easy and what she liked. Occasionally she would fit in some mindless TV, a party, maybe a date, but every school day was generally the same lather, rinse, repeat routine she was used to.

Only with a little more Curly Shepard thrown in over the last month.

She bit her lip and slowed her car down, looking at the street sign. Surely it wasn't that big a deal. There probably hadn't been much blood at all. In fact, it was probably just a scratch. A scratch.

She could almost hear Mrs. King reading the lines from "Romeo and Juliet" during English last year, and her stomach turned icy. Good Lord, she must have been losing it. To be comparing whatever had happened to Curly to someone dying in a play - one of the most famous plays at that - was almost the most stupid thing she had ever done.

Not _the_ most stupid thing. No, the most stupid thing was the way she was turning her car onto Archer Street at that very moment … or perhaps it was what she was about to do. She couldn't help it though; she wouldn't be able to concentrating in class after what she had heard. No chance of her even attempting to pay attention in class when all she could think about was how badly hurt Curly was. God, how she hoped he wasn't hurt.

Her heart thudded at the sight of his car. There was another car - a nicer car - parked in front of his, and she decided that whatever she was going to do, it had to be done once that car was gone. His brother, his mother, his father - it didn't matter; she couldn't do anything with someone else there.

Pulling up a few houses down, she took a breath … definitely the most stupid thing she had ever done and it still made no sense to her. There was no reason she couldn't wait until Curly was back at school to make sure there hadn't been _so much blood_. Except that she knew she couldn't. She didn't quite understand why, but she knew she couldn't wait until then. It was killing her having to wait right now.

She didn't know what she was going to do once the nicer car left. Well, she knew she would get out of the car and walk up to the house, but what she would do once inside was a complete mystery to her. Good Lord, she didn't even know what she was doing there in the first place. Her thoughts, emotions, and feelings were all over the place and there was a good chance she would do something stupid.

Well, more stupid.

After almost an hour of waiting, a figure emerged from the house she was watching, and she leaned forward in her seat. They had a different build, but there was no way that wasn't Curly's brother climbing into the nicer car, and taking off down the street.

She sat back. That was it then. Curly was in his house - probably alone - and she was sitting outside it in her car.

Before she could talk herself out of it, and still not knowing what she was doing, she climbed out of her car.

XXXXX

The knock on the door came not two minutes after Tim had left. Still shirtless from examining his wound, Curly loudly cursed everything he could think of that no one else was home to answer it.

Wincing in pain as he got to his feet, he swore a kick in the head to whoever stood behind the damn door. He didn't need this; he wasn't a pussy or anything, but the last thing he wanted was to pop a stitch or two. Second to last thing he wanted was to get off the comfortable couch to answer the door.

All thought of inflicting pain on whoever was at the door left when he opened it to find Lucy Jane. Keeping the door half closed to hide his wound, he leaned against the doorway and raised an eyebrow.

"I don't know why I'm here," she said. She looked terrified, but was trying to hide it by looking as defiant as possible. It wasn't working.

Curly smirked at her. "I ain't askin'," he said, before opening the door wide enough for her to come in.

She stared at him for a few moments before entering. Closing the door behind her, he led the way to the lounge. He hadn't asked, and he wasn't planning on it, but he was definitely curious about why she was there. Stopping by the coffee table he turned to face her, wondering if she would say something.

"Oh my," she muttered. She walked towards him, all fear gone from her face as she stared at the cut on his stomach.

"It's nothin'," he said, waving a hand in dismissal. "Only eleven stitches, Tim's had worse."

She shot him a look. "It's not nothing, it's terrible."

Her hands began fluttering at the reddened skin surrounding the wound, as if she wanted to do something to help but wasn't sure what exactly. Though Curly secretly appreciated that she wanted to help, his biggest concern at that moment was what the feel of her fingers on his stomach was doing to him. He should not be going stir-crazy from her fumbling fingers on his skin.

Roughly, he grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her hands away from his body. She looked at him in confusion, and he stared back.

"You might not know why you're here, and I ain't about to ask," he said in a low voice. "But you keep touching me like that and I ain't gonna hold back from kissing you."

She licked her lips and he almost groaned at the sight of her pretty tongue. "I'm skipping school," she said. "And I waited in the car for almost an hour for your brother to leave. The last thing I want is for that time and effort to have been wasted when he catches me in his living room."

Curly frowned a moment before catching on. Letting go of one of her hands, he kept the other held loosely in his and led her up the stairs to his bedroom. Door locked, he turned to find Lucy Jane standing in the middle of his dark room, once again looking pretty damn scared. He decided not to push her; she had come to him on her own free will and he figured anything else she wanted to do would come about the same way.

Instead he moved to sit on his bed, fighting a grimace as he did so; he didn't want to show any pain in front of her - or anyone else for that matter - even if doing so got him a little loving.

He silently scoffed at that thought; from what he knew of Lucy Jane so far, she wasn't likely to care for him just because he was injured. Even if she had surprised him by turning up at his house.

"Don't you ever open your curtains?" she asked, still standing it the middle of the room.

"Not usually."

She frowned at him and he raised an eyebrow until she looked away.

"Why don't you come sit down?" he asked, and this time she raised an eyebrow at him.

"On your bed?"

He shrugged and smirked. "S'gotta be more comfortable than standin' all day."

He really, _really_ hoped she would agree and sit with him. It had, in a roundabout way, been her idea to come upstairs. He wasn't about to push her, but he couldn't help wondering what else he could get her to do if he managed to get her on his bed.

Too long later, she sat stiffly next to him, wringing her hands on her lap.

"See?" he said, smiling as he leaned back on his elbows. "Very comfortable."

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, it's wonderful."

Curly watched silently as her gaze left his and made it's way down his face, resting on his lips for a few seconds before continuing. He didn't mind in the least if she wanted to check him out; God knew he'd checked her out plenty. Plus he knew he had a good build; he ought to, considering all the fighting he did, and looking at Lucy Jane as her eyes travelled over his chest and her cheeks turned even pinker, he figured she agreed.

Her gaze stopped at the stitches on his stomach and she quickly glanced at him before placing one of her small hands on his skin. Curly kept himself as stoic as possible, waiting as she looked at the wound and gently touched his skin.

"Eleven stitches, huh?"

He nodded.

"Does it hurt?"

He blinked and slowly sat up, grabbing her hand as she went to pull away.

"That's why you're here," he said. "Because I got knifed."

She looked up at him, blue eyes wide. "I heard all these horrible things at school; I had to come see if it was as bad as they all made it out to be."

Curly felt a strange sensation in his chest and frowned. She had been worried about him. He didn't know why he hadn't figured that one out earlier, but now that he thought about it, it was obvious … even if she hadn't quite realised it yet.

He wasn't entirely sure how that made him feel - he wasn't used to anyone worrying about him, except occasionally Angel - but he knew it didn't make him feel bad. Not at all.

Feeling encouraged, he let go of her hand, pleased when she didn't pull it away, and leaned in to kiss her. Her lips were soft, warm, and inviting, and he took the invitation without a second thought, slipping his tongue into her mouth and his hand behind her head. He couldn't help the moan that escaped when her tongue reached out to meet his own.

The kiss was unhurried - almost gentle. It was completely different from any other kiss they had shared. Completely different, Curly realised, from any kiss he had ever had. But he liked it. A lot. Hell, he liked Lucy Jane a lot.

Deepening the kiss, he wrapped his free arm around her waist, pulling her to him. He wished it were warmer, he wished she were wearing less clothes, and he wished she'd let this happen sooner. But when her small hand slid up his chest to settle behind his neck, he simply wished she would never fucking stop.

He pulled back slightly, sucking her bottom lip into his mouth, and aching at the breathy sigh she let out. Glory, this girl was going to kill him and she'd barely touched him yet. He kissed her urgently, his tongue exploring every crevice of her mouth, wanting to taste every part of her.

Wondering if he was going to get a slap in the face - or worse yet, a punch to the gut - he let his hand skim down her back to meet his other hand. He flirted with the hem of her sweater a moment before slowly lifting it, hoping to get it over her head and on his bedroom floor without her stopping him. Admittedly, he had groped her a fair bit during their other two kisses, but this was different; the kiss different, they were in his bedroom, they were on his bed. Taking off clothing became a little more serious when they were on his bed.

She didn't pull away from him. She didn't slap or punch him. She lifted her arms, intent on letting him take the sweater off of her and chuck it on the floor, just like he wanted. Lifting it over her head, he sucked in a breath as he caught a glimpse of skin peaking out between her skirt and blouse. He wanted to touch it, taste it, feel it against his own.

He dropped the sweater, looked back at Lucy Jane, and she kissed him. _She _kissed _him_. Never before had that happened. It had always been Curly to initiate their kisses, their touches. She had always been the one to pull away or stop him. But, Christ, if she was going to kiss him, she sure as hell wasn't going to let it go to waste.

He kissed her hard and pulled her close; one hand resting on her lower back, the other threading it's way into her hair. He wanted her to touch him again - desperately fucking needed her to touch him - but he wasn't about to complain at what he was getting; for once she seemed happy and willing to kiss him.

With that in mind, he lowered his hand and let it rest on the top button of her blouse. She tensed for half an agonising second before sliding her soft, warm hands around his neck. Taking that as a sign to continue, he willed his fingers to stay steady and began undoing her blouse, not stopping until it was open. Then he touched her - slowly moving his hand up her torso, trailing his fingers over her ribs and between her breasts. He didn't know how far she'd been in the past - though he had his suspicions it wasn't very far - and he wasn't going to push anything today, but he was going to take what he could. She was there, and that was all that mattered, but he didn't know when - _if_ - he'd get another chance like this.

His whole body was trembling as he kissed her slower, smoothly sliding his tongue against hers, coaxing her to deepen the kiss. Slipping one beneath her blouse to pull her closer - touching, feeling, stroking the soft skin on her back - he lightly trailed his fingers over the lace of her bra. Lucy Jane pulled away with a gasp, a shiver running through her body as she clutched at his shoulders. Curly smirked; at least she was as affected by him as he was of her. He trailed kisses across her jaw to her ear.

"You okay?" he asked in a low voice, and she nodded.

Pulling back, he climbed onto the bed - not bothering to hide his pain this time - and sat with his back against the wall. Not giving her too much time to think about it, he pulled her onto his lap so she was straddling him. For a second he wondered what she would do, but then she kissed him again and all thoughts turned foggy. All he could think about was her and her body and her lips …

Her arms snaked around his neck, and he touched her again, caressing and teasing her. He kissed her harder, his teeth nibbling at her lips as her hands twined themselves in his hair. Loving the whimper of protest she let out as he took his hand away from her breast, he slid it down her stomach, over her hip and onto her leg. All he wanted to do was make her feel good.

Her leg was smooth, so damn smooth. Curly let his fingers trace small circles at the top of the lace on her thigh-highs, before both hands grasped her legs and slid beneath her skirt. She stilled at his movements, dropping her hands to rest on his own. It was such a simple gesture, but feeling her holding his hands set Curly's heart pounding.

Goddamn he wanted this girl.

He pulled back to look at her, letting his thumbs stroke her inner thighs.

"I should probably get going," she breathed.

He raised an eyebrow. "You really want to?"

She didn't answer - just gave him a tortured look.

"Why'd you come?" he asked, despite figuring it out earlier.

"You said you weren't going to ask."

"I changed my mind."

She didn't answer for a long while, and Curly figured he had messed up everything that had come out of their time together.

"I was worried about you," she finally admitted. Her voice was soft and she was looking away from him, as if she didn't want it to be true.

Anger rose in him at her reluctance to admit anything and he peeled his hand from her leg, grabbing her jaw until she looked at him. Once her eyes met his, his anger diminished slightly and when he talked, his voice was low.

"This changes everything, Lucy Jane. You know that, right?"

_But what's to stop us, pretty baby,  
__But what is and what should never be_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, and thanks to everyone who reviewed. I really appreciate it and I love hearing what you think :)


	10. What Are You So Scared Of?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Makeup" by Everybody Else.

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**CHAPTER TEN**

_One desk away, I am aching to say,  
__What are you so scared of?_

Curly Shepard was back at school the next day and Lucy Jane was completely mortified with herself.

She had acted completely out of line … practically throwing herself at him the way she had. She had made out with him on his bed, she had let him get to second base, and she had very nearly let him get to third. There was no one to blame but herself. She had gone to his house. She had suggested they go upstairs. She had sat next to him on his bed while he was so beautifully half-naked.

She'd done it all, and her face was warm as she remembered what had happened. She fidgeted in her seat, embarrassed.

"Lucy Jane?" Heather asked. "Is everything okay?"

Looking at Heather and Joanne, she nodded. "Everything is fine."

"Do you still have a headache?" Heather asked. "Maybe you're coming down with what Emmy has."

Lucy Jane could only be glad her friends had brought her lies about why she left school the previous day. She shook her head. "No, my head's fine. I was just thinking about some homework."

Joanne scoffed. "You think too much about school work, Lucy Jane. You need to relax more and I think I know the perfect way to do so."

There was a wicked smile on Joanne face, and Lucy Jane fought a sigh. "Really?"

Joanne nodded. "Your date with Roger this weekend, of course."

Of course.

Roger had called her the night before, not only to let her know what time he was picking her up, but to warn her that Joanna had found out about their date, and to see if she was all right because he had noticed she wasn't in school that day.

He was sweet - so very sweet - but was sweet what she wanted? Well, of course it was. No girl wanted rough. She certainly didn't. At least, not all the time.

She swallowed, refusing to think about a certain kiss against a concrete wall that had almost left her back bruised.

"I think our date will be really great," she told her friends, wondering if she sounded as fake as she felt.

Joanna nodded. "Roger's really gone to a lot of trouble for you, Lucy Jane. I think he likes you a lot."

Lucy Jane forced a smile. "I think you might be right."

That seemed to be enough to get Joanna off of her back, and Lucy Jane let out a small sigh of relief. Twenty minutes later, she was standing in the nearly deserted hall, contemplating skipping Spanish for the first time.

She shouldn't, not really, but glory she wanted to.

She was still in shock at her behaviour the day before and dreaded seeing Curly. So far, she had managed to avoid him spectacularly. She knew it wouldn't last, but didn't know what would happen once she saw him. She didn't know what she would do, or what he would do, or what would be said. After yesterday, she wasn't sure she knew anything.

"_This changes everything, Lucy Jane. You know that, right?"_

No, she didn't know. Goodness, what did that even mean? She wasn't sure she wanted to know. The idea of things changing between her and Curly - for the better or worse - scared her to death. The idea of things staying exactly how they were scared her just as much.

Turning on her heel, she headed down the hall and away from Spanish. She wasn't a coward, not usually. She had stood up to Curly Shepard - known criminal - more times than she had backed down from him, she had managed to ignore him reasonably well when she needed to, and she had been practically half-naked in front of him just the day before … but at that moment, there was no way she could face him.

Perhaps it was having been half-naked in front of him just the day before that had something to do with that.

She heard footsteps following her just as she neared the corner but ignored them. A voice called out to her as she turned the corner, and though her steps slowed, she wouldn't allow herself to stop.

Curly caught her hand a moment later and spun her around to face him.

She looked up and set a hard look in her eyes. Confusion, frustration, and absolute uncertainty might have been cursing through her body, but there was no reason for him to know it.

"Skippin' class?" he asked, gaze just as hard as hers.

"So what if I am?"

He changed the subject, seemingly not really caring about her skipping class. "You've been avoiding me again."

"I'm always avoiding you," she muttered.

Curly dropped her hand, and it was only then she realised he had still been holding it. "Except when you come lookin' for me at my house."

His voice was so low and angry that she was shocked. He had been angry with her plenty, but always about her attitude toward him and his friends, or money, or whatever stupid thing they had been fighting about at the time. Never about the two of them. She realised then what a huge mistake she had made.

"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I know I shouldn't have come to see you yesterday, but you seemed to want me there -"

"Of course I wanted you there."

She looked at him, unsure of what to say.

"Fuck, Lucy," he said. "I know this is hard for you, but you gotta stop this shit."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

He stepped close. "I want you."

She rolled her eyes, fighting a blush. "Yes, well. You've made that rather obvious -"

"I ain't just talkin' about that," he said, inching closer until he was almost touching her. "I want _you_. I hardly even know ya, I still think you're a snob with one hell of a princess attitude, and sure as hell don't know what I'm thinkin by telling you this, but I want to be with you. I can't stop fucking thinkin' about you."

"Curly -"

"Yesterday changed things, and you know it."

She shook her head. "We kissed - it didn't mean anything."

He took a step back. "I didn't think you were that kinda girl - that you didn't go 'round kissing boys."

He was throwing her own words back in her face and she couldn't blame him. She had seen a flicker of something in his eyes when she had told him the kiss meant nothing. If she didn't know any better, she would have called it hurt.

She had nothing to say. What could she say? He was exactly right - she wasn't that kind of girl. At least, she never used to be; not until Curly had kissed her outside Jay's that night. She looked into his eyes, his beautiful eyes that were so full of _something_.

"Luce -" he tried, reaching for her hand.

Footsteps came and she took a step back. Glancing away, she nervously watched a younger student hurry down the hall. Once he was gone, she looked back at Curly.

He was smirking at her - a cold smirk that almost made her afraid.

"I get it. Why would a kiss mean anything when it's a no-good hood you're kissin'." It wasn't even a question when he said it. He gave her a disgusted once over. "Don't worry, Lucy Jane, I'll leave ya alone from now on."

XXXXX

For once, Curly was cold as fuck. He didn't feel it very often and it usually never bothered him, but at that moment, he was wishing he had more than just his leather jacket.

"This is fucked up," Danny said, watching the two cops across the street force handcuffs on Tim.

Curly glanced at his brother's best friend, and silently agreed. Things had gone to shit not ten minutes ago and, for a split second there, Curly had been sure he was heading back to juvie. Juvie wasn't a place he wanted to be again any time soon, and he supposed he now had Tim to thank for saving his ass.

"You ain't kiddin'," he said. "What the fuck do we do now?"

The plan had been so simple. A couple of guys had spent the night before watching the hotel, and all Curly, Tim, and Danny had to do was sneak into the parking lot and steal two cars. Stealing cars was something everyone in the gang had done at least once. It wasn't a difficult job, especially with an extra person there as a look out.

Unfortunately, Curly had been the look out. He'd wanted to do more, not just to get more of a take in the money heading their way, but also to prove that he could. But Tim had stuck him as a look out and that was that. Fortunately, he had seen the car heading in their direction with plenty of time to alert Tim and Danny.

"Fuck," Tim had hissed, not taking his eyes off of the approaching car. "You two get these cars the second you can, you hear me? Finishing this deal is the most important thing right now. I'll get rid of whoever it is."

Curly and Danny did as Tim said, waiting while Tim headed down the street to grab the attention of the oncoming car. What they didn't expect was for the car to pull over and for two cops to get out and start questioning Tim. Now, ten minutes later, Tim had seemingly pissed them off enough to be arrested. Curly supposed the punch to the fat guy's nose didn't help any, and there was a good chance Tim would be away for a while.

Danny tugged his shirt and pulled him back into the shadows as the cops climbed into the car. They watched silently as it drove off.

"Now, we finish the job and meet the guys." Danny said. "Just like we planned."

Standing, he carefully followed Danny back to the parking lot. The job was simple and quick once there was no threat of the fucking cops. Reaching for his metal coat hanger, Curly followed Danny's lead and jimmied open the lock on the GTO he was taking.

"See you in a bit," Danny muttered.

Curly climbed into the car, and used the screwdriver from his pocket to start it up. The engine roared to life seconds later, and he pulled out of the parking lot just after Danny - heading in the opposite direction, as planned. He might have been irritated to see his brother get arrested again, but Danny was cool as could be. Curly supposed he was used to having to take Tim's place so often that it just didn't faze him anymore. He wondered if it was just another reason Danny was Tim's second. Where Curly glared and sulked for a while about his brother being gone locked up again, taking over just came naturally to Danny.

Speaking of sulking, his mind went right back to the sole reason he'd been in such a shitty mood the last few days: Lucy Jane.

Glory, but she frustrated him. School that day had been tough. School everyday was tough enough when it came to her, but this was worse. He was so set in his ways of searching for her, smirking at her, letting himself stare at her body as much as he liked, that not doing it had been hard. So fucking hard.

Especially when it was all he wanted to do.

Spanish had just about killed him. He had refused to even glance at her as he strolled in late, nor had he looked at her during class. She couldn't see him from her seat in front of him, but that wasn't the point. The point was he was leaving her alone, and in order to leave her alone, he had to pay no attention to her - for his own fucking sanity. So instead of watching her, he had paid attention for the first time in weeks and it was hard. Hard to pay attention, hard not to look at her.

It was automatic for him to seek her out. It was automatic for him to _want_ to seek her out. He wasn't used to not wanting her. Although, he _did_ still want her. He wanted her so bad it fucking hurt and it made no sense to him.

She wasn't a very nice person. He wasn't stupid enough to think he was a particularly nice person, but he was a whole lot nicer than her when it came down to it. Greaser girls had themselves a bad reputation for being bitches, but none of them even compared to Lucy Jane.

She was also a snob. She didn't have to rub her money in his face like she used to; he saw it every time he looked at her. Hell, anyone with eyes saw it. She was completely stuck-up and a bitch.

And - what seemed to bother Curly the most - she obviously didn't give two shits about him. He frowned; that shouldn't bother him, though. It shouldn't matter. He shouldn't want her.

Pulling up at the meeting point, he climbed out of the stolen car and straight into Danny's Buick. Danny finished up the business end of the night, and minutes later, he was driving Curly home.

He slouched in his seat and shoved his hands in his pockets, still thinking about Lucy Jane. It had been made obvious more than once that, despite her mostly willingness to kiss him, she still wasn't willing to admit - even to herself - that there was more to it than that. That there was more to the two of them than the three kisses they had shared.

Because there was, and he just had to wait for her to admit it. Or maybe he had to wait for her to realise it.

She had seemed so adamant that their kiss meant nothing, that he almost believed her. Well, he believed that it was what she truly believed. But after thinking about it, _he_ had truly thought that it would only take some time for her to see what was right in front of her. That it would take some time, and then she would come to him - to be with him.

He sure hoped he was right; otherwise he had basically given up on her with his words on Friday. He'd had mixed feeling about it since. Was she worth it if she couldn't admit to things having changed between them? Was she worth it if she were willing to let him walk away like she had? Was she worth it if she had gone out with Roger over the weekend like she had planned?

Fuck, there was no _if_ about that one.

He had seen the two of them at the bowling alley Saturday night and it had made him sick. He had glanced around the place when first arriving, looking for anyone he knew and bypassing straight over Lucy Jane as if he had no idea who she was.

He hadn't looked at her again.

Wasn't planning on it, either. She would be at school tomorrow, and he would continue just as he had been. He figured it would go one of two ways; she would see sense and come to him like he so desperately wanted her to … or she wouldn't. At least if she didn't, he would already be on his way to trying to get over her. He wasn't sure it would work - at all - but the attempt was there.

Danny pulled up outside Curly's and let the car idle.

"You did good tonight, kid," he said with a grin. "We'll meet up tomorrow night and sort out the next job."

Curly nodded. "Sounds good," he said, looking forward to the distraction.

He could manage not looking at Lucy Jane, but he needed whatever he could get to take his mind off of her.

XXXXX

Lucy Jane was stronger than people gave her credit for. She might have treasured her reputation, she might have lived off of her daddy's money, and she might have succumbed to Curly more times than she would have liked, but she was still strong. She wasn't going to crack. She was strong and did what she wanted. Some boy trying to influence her decisions wasn't going to matter one bit because there wasn't a thing about her life that Curly Shepard could influence.

That was a lie and she knew it - the fact that she was putty in his very talented hands proved that - but she chose not to think about it. She chose because she had the choice. She couldn't be - _wouldn't_ be - pushed into this thing with Curly.

He could ignore her and pretend she didn't exist all he pleased. She just didn't care. It wasn't as though she missed the way he constantly ogled her, or the way he taunted her with the filthy words that came out of him mouth, or the way he cornered her in the halls much too often. She didn't miss a thing about him.

Pulling her ponytail over her shoulder, she sighed heavily. She might have been strong, but she couldn't lie to herself to save her life.

Curly was sitting two rows behind her and to the right - just like he did everyday - but goodness she did miss him. She missed him like crazy. Made no sense considering how little time she had really spent with him, but she missed him. She missed the way he would smirk at her every time he saw her, she missed the way he would taunt her every chance he got, and she really, really missed the way he looked at her and touched her and kissed her.

He was an awful good kisser. Demanding yet soft and smooth and sweet. Basically perfect as far as she was concerned.

But that was no reason to give into him. Especially when it would mean giving into something

she didn't even want. Because she might miss him, but she didn't want him. It was a phase or something.

She sighed. Denial. She wasn't stupid.

_You're putting on make up, you don't believe in love,  
__what are you so scared of?_

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**A/N**: Beta'd by Riley'sMomma. Reviews are appreciated :)


	11. Chemistry is Everything

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "The One" by Limp Bizkit.

* * *

**CHAPTER ELEVEN**

_Maybe you have crossed my path to live inside of me,  
__Or maybe you're the reason why I'm losin' all my decency_

Lucy Jane looked up as Curly came into the classroom, and she was sure her heart did a million things at once. It thudded in her chest at the sight of him, it clenched painfully at the way he didn't even glance her way, and it melted completely at the grin on his face as he talked to his buddy.

She was getting used to it, though. Her heart was doing all kinds of crazy things whenever she saw him. It had pounded on Saturday night at the idea of him causing a scene at the bowling alley. It had practically skipped a beat when she'd had to walk past him to get to her locker yesterday afternoon. It had become heavy when she had seen him flirting with some blonde girl that morning.

It was a constant mix of every feeling available, and she was getting used to it. She didn't like it, but she was getting used to it.

She wasn't getting used to Curly ignoring her, though.

That was hard. Hard seeing him in the halls and not looking at him. Hard watching him walk into Spanish and act as though she didn't even exist. Really, _really_ hard standing back and watching him flirt with another girl in the library that morning.

In fact, watching him flirting with the blonde had been excruciating. It shouldn't have been - he was just some boy, a hood at that. He shouldn't have this kind of affect on her - he shouldn't have any kind of affect on her.

But he did.

He was just trying to make a point, and he was making it well. Really well. He was angry at her for not acknowledging - _realising_ - the change in their relationship. For pushing him away because she hadn't wanted to be seen with him. She could understand that now and even felt bad about it, but his motives for ignoring her were becoming confusing.

At first, she had thought he was trying to prove a point. Whether it be the I-know-you-want-me-and-I'm-going-to-pretend-you-don't-exist-until-you-admit-it point, or the I'm-done-with-you-because-you-think-so-little-of-me point, she didn't know. She had almost thought it was both, but what happened in the library changed that.

Because really, nothing had happened in the library and it had messed her up uncontrollably.

She had been sitting silently in her seat, researching her history homework when he had walked in. She looked up, heart squeezing as he wandered into the library, hands shoved carelessly in his pockets. Unable to look away, she stared and wondered how he could be so good-looking. His gaze roamed the library - not even reaching Lucy Jane before he smirked and headed toward a table only a few feet away from where she was sitting.

Her heart sank when she saw the blonde he was sitting with. Biting her lip and forcing in deep breaths, she looked away, only glancing back occasionally to see what was going on. What had been going on was too much flirting for her to handle. Too much flirting, too many casual touches, and too much undressing each other with their eyes. She hated to be dramatic, but that's what it was. Curly looked as though he wanted to do awful things with that girl, and Lucy Jane couldn't stand it.

Swallowing back the foul taste in her mouth, she stood and picked up her book, eyes still on Curly and the blonde.

When he had first walked into the library, she hadn't really expected him to look her way or even glance at her; she wasn't used to him ignoring her, but she had come to expect it. What she _had_ expected was a sneer, a knowing smirk when she had picked up her books, ready to leave the library because of him.

He hadn't even looked at her.

That had changed everything. Well, everything had changed a while back and she could see that now, but seeing him flirting in front of her and realising that maybe it wasn't even for her benefit made her wonder just how long this was going to go on. Just how long he was going to wait for her to realise what she should have known all along.

It didn't matter anymore. If he was waiting or if he wasn't, she was going to fix things because having him ignore her like he was, watching him with other girls right in front of her eyes … it was hard and it hurt.

If the fact that she had gone to his house to make sure he was okay last week hadn't changed anything, then these feelings she just might have for him definitely did.

XXXXX

She wondered if he would be there. It was unlikely, considering what had happened over the last few days, but she didn't know where else she could to look. His house? There was no way she was going there at this time of night. Buck's? She had heard plenty about that place and there was no chance she would ever set a foot in there. Jays? Sure, if she wanted to see him while he was around all his buddies … and that girl.

Of course, he could very well be at any of those places, but if that was the case, then it was just too bad for her. The only place she could really go looking for him was the lake, so that's where she would go. If he wasn't there, then she would just come back tomorrow, the day after that, and the day after that until she found him alone.

Pulling into the barely visible track, she slowed her car. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest and her mother's words were ringing in her ears. Not words she had heard yet, but words she knew she would hear if Constance were to find out about this. Words of disgust, disgrace, and disappointment.

Lucy Jane no longer cared enough to let the words get to her. Josie's words were there, too, now. And they mattered more.

A relieved sigh fell from her lips when she arrived in the tiny clearing and saw Curly's car. She couldn't see him anywhere and wondered for a sickening second if he was inside the car with someone else. His brother? A friend? The blonde?

_Don't be stupid_, she scolded herself. She nervously licked her lips and climbed out of the car. He'd only ever brought her there; he'd said so himself.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she tentatively made her way to the driver's side of his car. She was freezing, and wished to God she had thought to grab a coat before leaving the house. It was not nearly warm enough for a blouse and sweater.

She stopped a few feet from the driver's door and took a breath. She wasn't a wimp; she could speak her mind, she didn't back down from a fight - unless it was with her mother - and she stood up for herself. At least she had done until very recently when it came to Curly Shepard. Silently, she reminded herself that this needed to be done and it was - _hopefully_ - unlikely he would try and talk her out of it.

Stepping forward, she tapped on his window. Her heart thudded at the entirely calm way he turned his head to look at her, and she knew he must have seen her already. Rolling down his window a few inches, he raised an eyebrow at her, not saying anything.

"Can we talk?" she asked, shivering in the cold.

"Don't think there's really any need, d'you?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Yes, I do."

"Well, go ahead then." He casually waved a hand in her direction, and she was sure he knew he was irritating her.

"Can you at least get out of the car?" she asked, through clenched teeth.

He stared at her a moment. He was enjoying getting to her - she knew it. The fact that they hadn't talked in days didn't make riling her up any less fun for him.

"I ain't the one who wants to talk," he said. "Why should I get outta my car? I just got the heater fixed yesterday; it's pretty nice and warm in here -"

"Glory, Curly." She was one wise comment away from literally stomping her foot, and she desperately didn't want to get that carried away. She could just imagine how he would use her "princess tantrum" against her in the future.

"Okay, okay. Calm yourself." He smirked, slowly doing the window back up. Seconds later, he was in front of her, leaning against the closed door and sliding his hands into his pockets. "So?"

She glared at him, sure he wasn't going to make this easy on her but knowing she shouldn't care. She could handle a seventeen-year-old hood that turned her legs to jelly. Problem was, that same seventeen-year-old hood seemed able to turn everything else to jelly, and she was never quite able to stand up to him as well as she could others. He didn't scare her, he just caused her to lose her train of thought and abandon any of her morals much too often.

"Well?" he asked, having just done as she had been thinking and made her forget what she was doing.

She looked in to his eyes; deep blue and not quite blank. Not showing any real emotion, but almost looking … resigned; as if he really was sick of waiting for her. Her heart ached; glory, she hoped she wasn't too late.

"I - I don't know," she said. Taking a breath to clear her mind, she rubbed at her forehead and continued. "I don't know what this is. I don't know what it all means. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Curly, I feel completely lost. "

_Without you_, she added silently. She couldn't say that, though. She might have been there, but she wasn't quite prepared for those feelings.

"Just … tell me what you do know," Curly said, voice taking on a slightly more understanding tone.

She couldn't do that. Telling him what she did know meant admitting aloud something she wasn't sure she was ready to. But admitting her feelings was why she was there. If she wanted him - and she had finally admitted that she did - then she had to be honest. She had to put it all out there.

She kept her eyes on him, forcing out all the courage she had. "I know that I can't stop thinking about you; about touching you, kissing you, _being_ with you. I know that whenever something's making me unhappy, you're the person I want to make it better, despite the fact that I hardly know you. And - and I know that I've hated these last few days of you ignoring me."

He was silent, waiting for her to continue. She looked away and quickly back again. His eyes had softened, but there was a small frown on his face; he needed more.

And she was finally ready to give it.

"It hurt," she said softly. "You pretending as though I didn't even exist was just horrible and it really hurt - even if I could understand why you were doing it. And then, seeing you in the library, flirting with that girl …"

She trailed off, looking at him and silently begging him not to make her continue. There wasn't much more she could say - she had told him she couldn't stop thinking about him, she had told him how much she had been hurting the last few days, and she had told him she understood why he had been so angry the other day.

She had told him she thought about being with him. What else was there to say?

He stood straight. "What does this change?"

She gave him a half shrug. "It changes everything."

His gaze hardened as he looked at her. "You're ready to admit that there's somethin' between us? You're ready to admit that you don't just think about being with me, but that you _want _to be with me?"

She took small a step forward. "Yes."

He extended a hand toward her. "This is it, Lucy Jane. I ain't letting you go back on this. You say you wanna be with me and you're with me. No going back."

She looked at the large hand he was holding out for her, wanting so badly to slide her own into it, but knowing it meant so much more than just hand holding. It was her invitation to the go against everything she was supposed to think, feel, and be. It was her invitation to betray her family, her friends, Roger.

None of that even mattered though. Not right then, anyway. It was her invitation to be with Curly, and that was what mattered. All that mattered was Curly, and that he wanted to be with her, he wanted her to want to be with him, and he wanted her to say it. Her breath was coming in quick gasps, puffs of air visible before her, and she nodded, placing her smaller hand in his.

"I want to be with you."

The words had hardly left her mouth when he was in front of her, cold hands holding her face and slightly warmer lips pressing against her own. She shook at his touch; she had wanted it, missed it so badly that finally having it felt more amazing than she could have ever imagined.

Lifting her hands, she slipped them inside his open jacket to rest against his sides, the feel of his hot skin through his T-shirt burning into her fingertips. She leaned in as much as she could, pressing her cold body in to his, loving the feel of his body heat against her. She couldn't help herself when she was with him; it was as though she lost all of her self control and she just didn't care. She turned up at his house, suggested going into his bedroom, and sat on his bed while he was half naked. She kissed him, pressed herself flush against him, and let him touch her.

And she loved every second of it.

She moaned in protest when he pulled his lips away, hands still gently holding face.

"Christ," he murmured.

She nodded, hardly hearing him, and leaned in to kiss him again, pleased when his tongue reached out to meet her own and his fingers tangled in her hair. He felt so good. She wanted nothing more at that moment than to spend the rest of her life doing exactly what she was doing at that moment - kissing, touching, and letting him heat her in the most delicious way - but then he pulled away again.

"It's freezin' out here," he said, and turned to open the back door of his car. Not needing anymore encouragement, Lucy Jane climbed straight in.

The door was closed and he was on her in seconds. She moaned softly into his mouth as he kissed her, gently nudging her to lie down. The seat was cold beneath her back, but his chest, hands, and lips were scorching everywhere they touched her.

His hand slipped under her sweater to spread across her stomach, and she gasped his name. She wasn't stupid, she knew what he wanted to happen … was going to happen. What surprised her most, was that she was going to let it. She might have agreed to be with him only moments before, but it was Emmy's words that rang in her head this time. When it's right, it's right.

His lips were a blazing trail across her jaw and pressed his hips against her own. "Want you so bad," he said, and she nodded. He could have her.

XXXXX

He didn't know if it was right to have taken her unfocused nod as agreement, but Curly figured Lucy Jane would tell him if he was wrong - stop him if he went too far. But she hadn't stopped him. She had been eager; writhing on his lap and pressing hot kisses against his neck. But she had also been nervous and tense and so fucking innocent.

Kicking himself didn't see like enough punishment. She might have wanted to have sex with him, and she might have told him not to stop, but it had still be her first time and he couldn't help but worry. Worry she'd regret it, worry she hadn't been thinking straight, and worry she'd think he took advantage of her.

He hadn't taken advantage of anything. He was seventeen, and when the girl he so desperately wanted was willing to be with him … well, there wasn't much else going through his mind. He just felt lucky he'd managed to get his mind straight enough to be gentle with her.

He was a hood and a criminal and anything but a virgin, but he wasn't a complete asshole.

Lucy Jane shivered, and he looked at her. Snow was falling around them as they stood next to her car - Lucy Jane ready to climb in and drive off, and Curly resting one hand on the open door, not quite ready to let her go. She looked so small, but so fucking alive; rosy cheeks, messy hair, wild eyes. He fought a smirk; she looked thoroughly fucked.

"You sure you're okay?"

She nodded, smiling slightly. "I'll be fine."

He wanted to ask her if she regretted it, but couldn't quite force the words out of his mouth. Searching his brain, he tried to find a way to ask without sounding like a complete idiot.

"You sure? I mean - do you - do you wish we hadn't …" He trailed off, running a hand through his hair.

"Oh, Curly." She had a way of breathing his name that he really fucking loved. "Of course I don't."

Standing on her tip-toes, she rested her hands on his chest and leaned up to kiss him. He kissed her back, wondering how the fuck he'd managed to score a girl like this. Knowing she wanted him to kiss her was one thing - having her admit to wanting to be with _him_, and eagerly sleeping with him was something else entirely.

"I really have to get going," she said softly.

He nodded.

"You'll pick me up tomorrow night, right?"

"Of course."

Her eyes were wide. "You promise?"

Curly let out a breath. It didn't take a genius to figure out she was just as unsure as he was. Not unsure about _them_, but unsure about each other and what they'd just done. Where Curly had been worried she regretted it, it seemed Lucy Jane was worried he'd gotten what he wanted and was done with her. He was far from done with her.

He cupped her face in his hands. "I'll be there."

And he would. He'd be there until she told him not to be.

_But I believe that you and me we could be so  
__Happy and free inside a world of misery_

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. I'm a bit nervous about this chapter. I went through a few different versions before finally deciding on what's posted, so any feedback/concrit is appreciated :)


	12. Warm My Mind near Your Gentle Stove

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Soul Kitchen" by The Doors.

* * *

**CHAPTER TWELVE**

_Let me sleep all night in your soul kitchen,  
__Warm my mind near your gentle stove_

Curly stood next to his car, watching with narrowed eyes as Danny did the transfer with Dale and Vic. He was close enough to be there if Danny needed any backup, but far enough away to keep the sneer he was giving the guys to himself. They might have apologised, but Curly had a sizable scar running down his stomach thanks to those two bastards.

Watching Danny, he wondered how much longer these jobs were planned for. He figured it'd probably be quite a while; the cash the gang was earning was good and worth the risk of stealing the cars they had started stealing. A close to brand new Cadillac, new Fairlane Torino, and new GTO were parked in front of Curly, and his mouth watered at the idea of keeping one for himself. Wouldn't happen, of course, but the money he was making by helping steal the cars sure would come in handy.

Tim had been locked up for nearly three weeks now and still had about month to go. As much as he looked up to his brother, Curly found himself not terribly bothered by Tim not being around. It just made things easier.

Like these jobs. He was sure they would be going just as well as they were - if not better - if Tim was there, but he doubted he'd be in on almost everyone of them. In fact, he was pretty damn sure he wouldn't be. Danny still evened out the work between the guys, but he almost always had Curly go along with him when it was time for the job to take place.

Curly sure appreciated it. Not only was the money going to be great, but it made him feel good. Better than he would have felt if Tim had been around. Tim didn't trust Curly's judgment. He didn't think Curly was reliable, mature, or bright. Danny almost treated Curly like his second, but Tim didn't think any of the decisions he made were good ones. Admittedly some of them weren't, which just made Curly even gladder Tim wasn't around.

He couldn't even imagine what his brother would say if he knew about Lucy Jane.

His eyes closed briefly as he thought about her, and he wished that Danny would hurry the hell up. He was itching to get the hell out of there, to pick her up, to be with her. He couldn't get enough of her.

He supposed the short amount of time he got with her had something to do with that. He could pick her up late at night, spend a couple of fucking perfect hours with her, but always have to drop her back home. It killed him every time. He hated when she left his car - left him.

But it was what it was, and it wasn't going to change. He got that, he understood it, hell, he even agreed with it.

People finding out about them just wasn't a good idea - for her sake more than his, but that wasn't the point. The point was she had more to lose by their relationship being in the open than he did, and he didn't want her to have to go through that. He didn't know how it had happened, but he'd come to care about her too much to let that happen.

None of her friends would stick by her if they found out she was with him. He was a hood - a dirty greaser - and as far as they were concerned, not the kind of person they should be associating with. She would lose every single one of her friends if they found out, and he couldn't let that happen … he _wouldn't_ let that happen.

Even if it meant putting up with her dating some other guy.

His jaw clenched, knowing she had been out with fucking Roger McKenna that very night. He knew it had to be done for her to keep up appearances, he knew she didn't want to do it, and he knew it meant nothing. But, Christ, he sure hated it. Hated that she spent more time with Roger than she did with him, hated the way Roger looked at her, and _really_ hated knowing that she would kiss him good night.

But he understood it. She couldn't just stop dating him now that she was with Curly; questions would be asked, she would be pressured, and it would just make things difficult. Roger was a good cover. He understood.

Danny was heading his way, and he pushed Lucy Jane out of his mind for the moment. Most of the other guys had already left, only Curly and a few others sticking around to back Danny up if things turned to shit. It seemed none of them fully trusted Dale or Vic after the assholes had knifed Curly.

"Good to go?" Danny watched Dale, Vic, and their guys start up the stolen cars.

Curly nodded; he was more than ready.

Danny grinned and gave him a shove. "Get goin', kid. I don't know who you're meeting, but you look about to burst if you don't get to her soon."

Not needing to be told twice, Curly smirked, climbed into his car and took off. His mind automatically went back to Lucy Jane, just like it always did.

It seemed as though being with her - touching, tasting, fucking her - didn't change a damn thing about his constant need for her. If anything, it had intensified after having her that first time and in the weeks since. He didn't just want her all the time - he fucking _needed_ her. They had only been together a short time, but glory she was important to him.

Everything that had been difficult before became even harder. Paying attention in class, particularly Spanish, became damn near impossible when all he wanted to do was pull her hair away from her neck and suck on her pale skin until she was moaning. Hanging out with his buddies at Jay's or the bowling alley became a constant search for her, even though he knew that he couldn't do a damn thing about it even if he did see her. Even doing these jobs was becoming a little tough when his mind was focused on how much longer until he could pick her up.

It was making things tough, but it was just another reason no one could find out about them. If they became public, her friends would ditch her, his friends would accusing her of slumming it, and Tim would go ballistic at the complications dating a rich girl - a lawyer's daughter - could cause the gang.

But worse than those, worse than all of those put together, were her parents. They might be uncaring jerks - Curly's words, not hers - but they were still her parents, and the last thing they would want was their precious daughter dating a criminal. They would ground her, lock her up, and make it entirely impossible for him to see her.

She wasn't ashamed of him for being a hood, and he wasn't ashamed of her for being stuck-up … it was just better this way.

It was better, but it was exactly why he got so little time with her. It was why he never saw her during the day except for the few times she shown up at the lake. It was why they could only ever spend a couple of hours a night together, steaming up the windows of his car with their soft moans or whispered words. It was why it hurt - physically hurt - every time he took her back home, hating the feeling in his chest and the sad look she would give him.

He understood it, but it wasn't enough - it was never enough - and he fucking hated it.

XXXXX

Her bedroom was freezing with the window open, but Lucy Jane didn't care. It needed to be open so she could see out. Condensation had built during the evening and the only way she could see outside was with the window open.

She blew out a breath and watched the puff of air swirl in front of her. There were at least three other things she should be doing at that moment, but she wasn't planning to start on any of them. She couldn't start on any of them; not when her entire body was wound so tight. Her mind was whirling a hundred miles an hour, her body was tense with anticipation, and her heart was full.

So completely full.

All because of Curly Shepard.

She fidgeted and reached for her lip gloss on her bedside table. Applying the apple flavoured gloss to her lips, she looked back out the window. Her heart thumped wildly when car lights became visible, but quickly sank when the car drove straight past her house without stopping.

He was late.

It wasn't uncommon because of the jobs he had to do with the gang. She never asked what the jobs were; partly because she just didn't want to know, and partly because she was uncertain of her feelings about him being in a gang. It was him - something she had always known - but she didn't have to like it.

Despite her father being a lawyer and her plans to follow in his footsteps, it wasn't even the criminal side of the gang that bothered her so much. It was the fact that Curly had been stabbed and had received eleven stitches not three weeks ago … all because of the gang.

It worried her. She wasn't used to that feeling, because she wasn't used to having to worry about anyone but herself and Harry. But, she worried for Curly. She worried every moment she wasn't with him, because Lord help her, she was hopelessly infatuated with him.

Sure he would pull up at any moment, she stood and closed her window and drapes, ready to head downstairs to wait outside for him. There was a tree in the front yard that kept her out of sight from everyone both inside and outside of the house. It was the perfect waiting spot - one she had spent many minutes waiting under.

If there was one thing about the large, empty house she lived in that she could enjoy, it was the privacy. Her parent's bedroom was at the other end of the house; they never heard a thing when she snuck out in the middle of the night. She supposed the fact that they would never bother to get up and check on her during the night was the one good thing about their lack of attention.

Harry's bedroom was closer to hers than her parents, and he called out to her as she walked past. Looking through his open bedroom door, she slowly headed into his room, the duck silhouettes on his walls coming from his bedside lamp lighting her way.

"What are you doing awake?" she asked softly, sitting on the edge of his bed.

He shrugged before sitting up and crawling closer to her. "Where are you going?" he whispered.

She opened her mouth to say nowhere, but even she could see how stupid that would look; she was sitting on his bed in the middle of the nights, wearing her clothes and a winter coat rather than her pyjamas after all. Her brother wasn't an idiot; he knew she was supposed to be in pyjamas and in bed.

"I just have to go out for a while," she said.

Harry's eyes widened. "Can I come?"

Running her fingers through his blonde curls that were so unlike her own dark hair, she shook her head.

"Not this time."

"Oh. What about tomorrow? Can we go feed the ducks?"

"You know, I think we might be able to do that," she said. Leaning forward, she kissed his forehead. "But you need to go back to sleep now."

Harry nodded and lay back down, giving her a wicked grin. "I won't tell anyone you went out," he promised, making a cross over his heart. "I'll keep it a secret."

Lucy Jane grinned. If there was one thing Harry loved as much as ducks, it was knowing a secret.

"Thanks, sweets. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

He nodded, eyes already drooping. "G'night, Lucy Jane."

She watched him for a moment, pulling the blankets over his shoulders, before heading out of his room. She was late now, and she hurried as quietly as she could down the stairs and out the front door. A chill ran over her; it was freezing out and snow was slowly falling. Licking her lips, she walked toward the tree, hoping Curly wouldn't be long.

He wasn't. He arrived only minutes later, pulling up to the curb and reaching over to open her door for her. Sliding inside his car warmed her up immediately; the heater, the memories of what usually went on in his car, and the look he was giving her all did a wonderful job in making her melt.

"Hi," she said, softly.

He ran a hand over her head, obviously too eager to get going to stop and kiss her, and pulled away from the curb.

"Sorry I'm late," he said. "I hope ya weren't waiting too long."

"I wasn't," she lied.

He glanced at her. "You should really wait in your room until I get here; it's about freezin' out there."

Lucy Jane shrugged, but secretly enjoyed his concern. "I was, but I got restless."

Curly smirked, very possibly taking that a completely different way than she meant it. His smirk faded quickly, and he glowered at the road ahead.

"How was your date?" he asked.

She frowned. "It was okay."

Curly said nothing. She knew Roger was a sore point for him, and though she was surprised at how angry and _jealous_ he got, she completely understood. She hated it when he went to Buck's. He wasn't going there with a date, but she couldn't be certain there weren't girls there he could very easily get into bed.

Pushing those thoughts away, she gently placed her hand on his leg. "You know it means nothing."

He threw her another glance and continued scowling, but reached down to grasp her hand with his own. Smiling, she looked out the window, remembering her date with Roger.

It really had been okay. Not terrible, but not good either. Just okay - like Roger. Sure, she had thought he was handsome, kind, and interesting a while back, but that was before. Before she had started dating him, before she had lunch with him everyday at school, before he had kissed her while there had been no New Years party alcohol in her and she had felt nothing.

Or, really, before Curly.

She glanced at her boyfriend. Her secret boyfriend. He had made it clear on more than one occasion just how much he hated her dating Roger. He spat words of jealousy, he glared at her in anger, and he made snide comments toward the two of them as they walked down the halls together at school.

Lucy Jane couldn't even find it in herself to be bothered by his attitude. She felt the same every time she saw him even talking to another girl. She could see how much she and Roger was bothering him, even as he glared and called them names at school. And a small part of her, a part that wasn't really as small as she would have liked, felt longing wash over her at how possessive he really was.

He thought of her as completely his, and she couldn't help but like it.

"This isn't the way to the lake," she said, suddenly paying attention to where they were going.

"We ain't goin' to the lake."

"Where are we going?"

He threw her a smirk. "My house."

"Your house?" Lucy Jane was certain her voice sounded as stunned as she felt. "Are you sure that's such a good idea?"

"Baby, it's probably a good idea I should've had weeks ago. With Angel living with Bobby, Tim locked up, and my parents hardly noticing if I'm even home, there ain't no one there to bother us." He gave her a smile. "I won't have to take you home straight away; you can stay with me for a while."

Stay with him for a while. Goodness but that sounded perfect. Being with Curly on the nights he picked her up was amazing, but they could only ever stay in his car. They would go to the lake, they would sleep together, but then he would have to take her home. They could never really _sleep_ together - spend the whole night together.

The idea of sleeping in Curly's arms, no matter how silly she sounded, was an idea she really liked.

"You sure it will be okay?" she asked.

"Perfect," he said softly, pulling up outside his house. "It'll be fucking perfect."

She believed him. He sounded so sure of himself, that she wanted him to be right.

They were inside and in his bedroom minutes later. It looked exactly as it had the last time she had been there, and she bit her lip, remembering the mix of emotions she had been feeling then. Confusion, anger, worry, and everything else that had made her feel horrible.

Now though … well now there were just as many feelings rushing through her, only they overwhelmed her in a good way. The made her ache with need, burst with happiness, and sigh with want.

She had seen a new side to Curly during their time of arguing, kissing, and glaring at each other. In the weeks since going to him at the lake, she had come to see even more sides to him. Jealousy, happiness, want, need, passion. There had even been some kindness and sweetness thrown in there at times.

He would look at her as he drove her home, and see the look on her face. He would ask her if she was okay, run a hand over her hair, and pull her close so she was leaning against him as he drove. Whispered promises of seeing her the next night, small touches as he looked into her eyes, and soft sighs as she turned to go always made it that much harder for her to get out of the car.

Slipping off her coat, she remembered where she was. She wouldn't have to go home tonight. They had hours together, but as happy as that made her, it still wasn't enough.

"What's the matter?" Curly asked, jacket already on the floor and lifting his T-shirt over his head.

She watched for a minute, fighting the urge to run her tongue over the muscles on his chest. She had known for a while that he did things to her - made her slightly crazy with want - but it was after sleeping with him that first time that she became completely unable to get enough of him.

"Luce?" he prompted, standing right in front of her.

Surprisingly and embarrassingly, tears sprang to her eyes. "I don't want to go home."

He gave her a confused smile and slipped a hand around her waist. "That's why I brought you here," he said. "I'm sick of getting to spend all of two hours with ya before takin' you home. This way I at least get you till sunrise … though you might be pretty tired in the morning."

"No, I mean …" she trailed off with a shake of her head.

She knew what she meant, but didn't know how to word it because it scared her something awful. The thoughts she had about Curly, and the feelings that were growing everyday scared her more than anything else. It was all happening too fast, and there wasn't a thing she could do about it. He had gone from the boy who made her flustered with just a look, to the boyfriend she never wanted to lose, all in a few weeks.

She had a feeling that telling Curly about them would scare him more than it did her.

"Lucy," he said, brushing his lips across her forehead.

Another shiver cursed through her, this time not from the cold air.

"I don't want two hours in your car," she murmured. "And I don't want half a night here in your bed."

"What do you want?"

She bit her lip and looked at him. "I want forever, and it terrifies me."

"Fuck," Curly breathed, and pressed his lips against hers in a forceful kiss.

She could only take that as a good sign, kissing him back and wrapping her arms around his neck. Curly pulled her body even closer to him as he pulled his mouth away, soft kisses feeling like whispers across her skin.

"I ain't had this before, Luce."

She blinked. "Had what?" she asked, his lips having distracted her into sweet oblivion.

He smirked and nuzzled her neck. "I ain't felt like this before."

"Really?"

"Really." He pulled back to look at her, eyes hazy. "It scares the crap outta me, but if you want forever then you got it, baby."

_Well, your fingers weave quick minarets,  
__Speak in secret alphabets_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.


	13. Secret Valentine

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Secret Valentine" by We the Kings.

_"This fic/chapter is being posted as part of "Good Fic Day," an effort to raise the quality of writing here. We hope to encourage more writers to improve the quality of their own fan fiction - spell check, grammar check, keep the gang in character, outline, plot and don't use Mary Sues. Good fan fiction requires effort, and we would like to encourage other writers to rise to the challenge of producing better fan fiction, not only for our readers, but for S.E. Hinton, who created the wonderful book we are trying to honour."_

* * *

**CHAPTER THIRTEEN**

_Don't waste your time,  
__Speed up your breathing_

Lucy Jane had been sitting at the dinner table with her parents, Harry, and Roger when all of her plans for Valentine's Day were ruined. It wasn't as though she had a lot of plans, but the plans she'd had had been with Curly … a far more attractive option than Roger.

Most of the time, she wished she wasn't dating him, but the fact was that she _should_ be dating him. Her feelings for Curly might make her crazy, but Roger was the kind of boy she should be with. He was the kind of boy she was expected to be with. By her friends, her mother, and ever her father. As much as Curly hated it, that made him a good cover for her secret relationship with him, and it also helped her live up to the expectation put upon her.

But, just because it was expected didn't mean she liked the idea of inviting him for over dinner at her mother's insistence. She had done it, though. She had done it because agreeing to do as her mother asked was much easier than arguing with her. It was something she had realised a long time ago, and was beginning to put it into use more and more often these days.

The only thing she had going for her all through dinner - and every other moment of nearly every other day - was the idea of Curly picking her up that night. But then Roger had ruined everything and she had found herself itching to throw the contents of the gravy boat in his face.

"I've made reservations at _Mario's_ for Valentine's Day," he said, smiling widely. "Well, that night."

"Oh, _Mario's_ is wonderful," her mother said, reaching for what must have been her fourth glass of wine since Roger had arrived.

"That's what my parent's say," Roger looked at Lucy Jane with a gleam in his eye. "Sound good, Lucy Jane?"

Eyes wide, jaw almost resting in her mashed potatoes, and hands clenched around her cutlery, she had only nodded, trying her best to _not_ look so shocked. She shouldn't be shocked; Roger was her boyfriend, and it was only right they spend Valentine's Day together. Only, it felt so incredibly wrong because she didn't care if he was considered her boyfriend. Curly was the person she cared about.

_Curly_ was her boyfriend and he was the one she wanted to spend Valentine's with.

It was awfully unfortunate she was too vain to tell people about them.

Now, as she stood in the snow later that night, she wondered just how she was supposed to tell Curly that their plans had been ruined. It wasn't as though he had been big on the idea of Valentine's Day, but he insisted they spend it together after she reminded him it was coming up

She wondered now if that was simply to make sure she didn't spend it with Roger.

Their plans hadn't been anywhere near as extravagant as Rogers, but that didn't matter to her. She might have been too shallow - too swollen with pride - to tell people about them and risk losing her friends, but she wasn't so shallow that she expected Curly to spend the small amount of money he had on her. All she wanted was exactly what he was able to give; the whole night, just the two of them.

A shiver racked her body just as Curly pulled up. With a quick glance back at her dark house, Lucy Jane climbed in through the door he had pushed open for her.

"Hey, baby," he said, leaning over and kissing her softly.

She kissed him back, taking the moment for what it was, and knowing his good mood might not last.

"I missed you last night." His voice was husky, lips moving against hers.

She smiled his words. With everything that got in their way - his gang work, her studying, their friends and families - they didn't get as many nights together as they would like. That they didn't get a whole lot of time together anyway just made it worse. It had been three nights since they had been together and she'd fought off pitiful tears as she lay in bed the night before.

She had missed him, too. So much that it hurt.

Waiting until they got to Curly's to tell him about Valentine's Day seemed like a good idea to begin with. He could get angry, yell at her, and demand that she cancel on Roger, but she was pretty sure he wouldn't drive all the way back to drop her off at home.

However, once they got to his house it didn't seem like such a great idea. He could, after all, get angry, yell at her, and demand she cancel on Roger. None of which sounded appealing. She stayed silent as Curly switched off his car and he looked at her, seemingly knowing something was up.

"Roger came around for dinner," she said.

He nodded. "I know."

Of course he did. After missing him terribly the night before, she had gone searching for him earlier that day, knowing he had second period history and was supposed to be in the library. After letting him drag her into a dark corner and kiss her, she had told him about dinner that night.

"Thing is, he's made plans for Valentine's Day."

Curly threw her a weary look. "Figured he would."

She turned to fully face him. "You're not angry?"

He scowled. "Fuck yes I'm angry, Lucy Jane. He might be fucking rich, but he's after the same thing all guys expect after doin' something nice for their girls on Valentine's Day."

She couldn't deny she was hurt at what he was saying. Yes, Roger was bound to try and get her to sleep with him, but Curly had to know she would never do it. Surely he trusted her.

"He's not going to get it," she said.

Curly watched her carefully, as if searching her eyes for any lies. She bit her tongue, wondering if it was really a lack of trust in her he had, or if it was his own insecurities at her having two boyfriends that caused his sigh. She hated herself in that moment, but knew she still couldn't bring herself to dump Roger.

"I know," he said again.

"I'm only with him because it's expected of me."

He shrugged. "I just want him outta the picture."

"So do I," she said. And she did. Roger might be who she _should_ be with, but she didn't want him. By the look Curly gave her, she wasn't sure he believed her.

XXXXX

Fucking Valentine's Day.

Curly had thought his mood couldn't get any worse until Beth Travis sidled up to him in Buck's, practically begging him to take her upstairs and fool around. He would flirt with girls at Buck's, simply to keep up appearances, but that offer had made him feel sick; the idea of touching any girl other than Lucy Jane had him clenching his beer bottle and fighting the urge to throw it at Beth.

Or maybe it was the idea of Lucy Jane being out with Roger, and knowing exactly what that sleaze would be expecting of her. Because he would be expecting it from her; what guy wouldn't on Valentine's Day? He'd use every fucking romantic trick in the book to get her to give into him, and it made Curly sick.

Not that he thought Lucy Jane would go there, but fuck, the mere idea of McKenna's hands on her made him want to throw up. It had started his bad mood, what had made him tell Beth to go fuck herself, and what had resulted in him standing outside Buck's waiting for Scott Travis to beat his head in … or at least try.

It wasn't a busy night. Most guys were doing the good boyfriend thing and were out with their girls - which just pissed Curly off even more because that's exactly what he should have been doing - but he had a few buddies standing behind him, ready to back him up if he needed it. Which, he hated to admit, he might.

He was a good fighter, he hadn't had too much to drink so his reflexes were fine, and he was eager to knock over Travis again. But he might have been too eager. Or he might have been too angry and distracted by Lucy Jane and McKenna to be paying enough attention.

Scott Travis was a smart fighter where Curly used his muscle to his advantage, and when Curly tackled him to the ground and started going crazy on him, Travis knew exactly what to do. It didn't take an idiot to overpower someone who was too full of rage to think properly.

Curly swung and swung at Travis as he pinned him to the ground, knowing he was missing and hitting the gravel more than he was getting Travis' face, but just not caring. That had to be how Travis overpowered him. Well, that's what he told himself.

He put up a fight, not letting Travis win him over that easily, but it didn't do much good. He groaned at each hit that Travis got in, and winced in pain when the fucker started kicking at him.

He was relieved when Travis was pulled off of him and someone helped him stand.

"I'm fine," he mumbled, spitting out the blood that had pooled in his mouth.

"Shepard, you're anything but fine."

Wiping dripping blood from his face, he looked at Two-Bit Mathews and mentally groaned. If there was anyone who'd never let him forget getting his ass kicked, it was Mathews. If anything, the idiot would take great pleasure in reminding Curly about it everyday for the rest of his goddamn life.

"I ain't seen you get the shit kicked outta you like that in a long time," Mathews commented.

Curly ignored him, but knew he was right; Travis had got him good. Once he'd had him down and had finished pummelling his face, Travis had jumped to his feet and started kicking Curly right in the ribs. It hurt like a fucking bitch and he was done.

"I'm getting' outta here," he muttered.

"Need a ride, man?"

Seeing nothing but sincerity coming from Mathews, Curly nodded. His car was packing up again and he needed to save whatever use he was going to get out of it for when he picked up Lucy Jane.

Sighing, he followed Two-Bit and thought about his girl. He was supposed to pick her up at midnight, but he wasn't about to sit at home and wait around for her. He would get his car, beg it to work, and sit outside her house if he had to. The idea of sitting back and watching McKenna kiss her goodnight made his stomach churn, but it'd almost be worth it if it meant getting her sooner rather than later

It wasn't a long drive to his house from Buck's, and Two-Bit pulled his car up next to the curb within minutes. Curly opened his eyes that he hadn't even realised he'd closed, and looked dazedly out the window.

"You gonna be all right getting inside?" Two-Bit asked.

He nodded. "Sure. Thanks for the ride."

He climbed out and slammed the door, slowly making his way toward his house and waiting for Two-Bit to take off. Once the car was heading down the street, Curly headed back for the road and climbed into his own car.

His mind was jumping between Travis and Lucy Jane during the entire ride to her house. He didn't care what it took; he'd get Travis back eventually. Bastard still owed him for the scratches in his car as far as he was concerned. It'd be easy enough; George, Jack, and probably even Ponyboy would all be willing to help him out.

Lucy Jane was a whole other problem. Glory but he couldn't get enough of her, and knowing she was out with some other guy was getting to him. It was causing him to make the kind of idiot decisions he used to make - the ones that got him into more trouble than was worth.

She was worth the trouble, he had no doubt about that, but having her dating McKenna wasn't worth shit. The last thing he wanted was for her to lose everything just because she was with him, but he was fucking sick of sharing her with another guy - even if McKenna didn't get shit from her.

Ignoring the pain in his bloodied knuckles, he pulled up a few houses down from Lucy Jane's, and turned his car off. It was a little after ten, but he'd wait for however long he had to.

He didn't have to wait long.

Secretly hoping it was because her date had been bad that she was home early, Curly watched the car pull up, his gaze fixed firmly on his girlfriend in the front seat. He was waiting for her to kiss that jerk McKenna goodnight, because he knew she would and it killed him, but he couldn't look away.

Trying not to clench his sore knuckles, he saw Lucy Jane lean over and peck McKenna on the mouth. She was out of the car in seconds. He smirked, knowing how much it sucked to have her turn down kisses and hoping McKenna felt as shitty about it as Curly used to.

As soon as the car in front of him pulled away, Curly started his own and sped toward her. She ran to meet him right away, and he pulled away from the curb before she had managed to close her door. He might be glad she hadn't kissed the fool she had been on a date with, but he was still pissed she had even been on a date with him.

He could see her turn to face him out of the corner of his eye, and waited for what he was sure was coming.

"Oh, Curly," she breathed softly, climbing to her knees and scooting across to the bench seat.

"S'fine," he muttered, waving her off.

And it was fine; he could look after himself. He hadn't come to her for comfort and any of that shit. He had come to her because she was his … not fucking McKenna's.

"What on earth happened to you?" she asked, sounding almost hysterical. She continued when he didn't answer. "Curly, please, pull over and tell me what happened."

He sighed and did as she asked, pulling into a small cul-de-sac and switching the car off. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes and the silence was terrible.

Unsure as to what to expect from her, Curly hardened his gaze, and refused to look in her direction. Whether it was anger, disappointment, or sheer frustration due to his fighting, it didn't matter; he didn't deserve it. Sure, it had been a stupid idea to start something with Travis, but fuck, she was the one out on a date with someone else.

She shuffled closer. "What happened to you?" she asked, voice soft.

He finally looked at her then, face softening as he took in her wet eyes. "I just got in a fight; it ain't a big deal."

Her lower lip trembled and she sagged against the seat, crying silently. Shit, this wasn't even close to what he had been expecting. He had been expecting yelling, arguments, maybe a little name calling. But not tears, never tears.

"Lucy Jane," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her.

She pulled back, pushing him away angrily. "You're hurt! You're covered in blood and your hands … oh, your poor hands."

He let her take his hands in hers, holding them gently and placing soft kisses around the reddened areas. Curly hissed in a breath, but didn't pull away. He wasn't used to this kind of treatment, and when she looked up at him, he gave her a small smile.

"It's okay," he said. "I got in a fight, and things didn't go my way, but it's okay."

She shook her head. "You're hurt."

"But it's okay; you don't need to worry about me."

Letting go of his hands, she dropped her head onto his shoulder. "I worry all the time," she admitted softly. "I worry that things are going to go wrong with some stupid job you're doing and you'll get shot or stabbed so badly that any number of stitches won't help. I worry that your gang will do something to anger another gang and they'll take it out on you." She lifted her head to look at him. "And I worry about you getting in fights and coming to me looking like this!"

Unsure of what to make of that, he gave her a lazy smile. "Next time I'll make sure to clean up first if ya like."

Her breath hitched and she let out a sob. His heart fucking ached at the sound of it, and he hated that she was so upset - hated that it was entirely his fault.

"Baby, don't cry," he said, arms back around her shoulders, injured hands running over her hair and back. "I'm okay, I promise."

"I hate seeing you so hurt," she said into his chest.

Curly's heart clenched then, her previous words of worry truly sinking into him. She wasn't angry, disappointed, or frustrated. She didn't want to yell at him, argue with him, or call him a stupid hood. She wasn't upset because he had fucked up again … made another stupid decision.

She was upset because he was hurt.

"Christ, Lucy Jane. I didn't realise you cared so much," he said honestly.

She pulled back again, looking at him as though he was the world's biggest idiot, and he almost felt like he was. She might have been reserved, even still now that they were together she usually held back unless things were as bad as they were then, but he could see every time he looked at her just how much she cared about him.

"Curly." She whimpered his name, and it sent a surge of longing right through him.

He didn't reply - just continued to watch her, calloused fingers wiped her wet cheeks. Leaning forward, she kissed him, - a needy, desperate, feverish kiss that showed him everything he needed to know. Fuck, but this girl could drive him crazy. He responded keenly; moaning into her mouth as her fingers moved from his hair to his chest and carefully below his tee.

He stopped her then, and she looked at him.

"Let's get outta here," he muttered, desperate to have her.

It wasn't the most charming of invitations, but he knew she would never say no.

_Just close your eyes,  
__We'll hope it's not for nothing at all_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, and everyone who reviewed.


	14. Burns, Burns, Burns

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash.

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**CHAPTER FOURTEEN**

_I fell into a burning ring of fire,  
__I went down, down, down, and the flames went higher_

Lucy Jane had been paired with Ponyboy Curtis again. She didn't mind, really; he wasn't terrible at biology, and he generally kept to himself when they were paired together. It wasn't that she didn't want to speak to him; she had just been having a hard time concentrating on anything lately which made conversing more than a little difficult. Especially with one of Curly's friends.

"We should head to the library," Ponyboy said.

She frowned. "Why?"

"Um, research on our assignment. Unless you already have this thousand word essay sitting in that head of yours?"

She smiled. "I do not. Let's go."

Gathering up their books, they made their way to the library and Lucy Jane found herself almost wishing all of Curly's friends were as nice as Ponyboy. He truly was a good person and it would take away one of their "going public" problems if all of his friends were as nice.

But they weren't, of course.

Even without Curly there to start the pestering, his friends still liked to bother her when she and Roger walked down the hall together. As far as she was concerned, Curly had every right to do so … his friends did not. She knew what they thought of her - it was exactly what Curly had once thought of her.

She frowned as she thought about him. They had been fighting more than usual lately. Well, more than usual wasn't exactly right because they hadn't argued since getting together. The last week however - ever since Curly had given her that worried look when she had told him she had a Valentine's date with Roger - they had been fighting.

And it was always about things they shouldn't be fighting about. Not when they had to make the most of the small amount of time they had together.

She and Roger had been fighting, too. Those fights didn't even compare to the explosive ones she had with Curly, but they were still frustrating. She had no idea why he was always so angry or why his mood was rapidly going downhill every time she saw him. She'd asked, remembering the sweet guy he had been and wanting to help, but he'd just snapped at her. All she knew was that he didn't know about her and Curly, because Joanna's mood had been just as bad lately.

Set up with their books in the library, she and Ponyboy began working on their assignment. Once she pushed all thoughts of Curly out of her head, she was able to get herself completely stuck in the book she was reading and concentrate on her school work.

Loud giggling behind her pulled her out of what she was reading, and she turned, finding a blonde girl sitting behind her with her friends. The same blonde girl that made Lucy Jane feel sick every time she looked at her. She didn't know if anything had ever happened between Curly and the blonde, but goodness, just the memory of him flirting with this girl and acting as though Lucy Jane didn't exist was enough to set her teeth on edge.

Ponyboy shifted in his seat, frowning slightly. She wondered how well he knew the girls - if he knew how well Curly knew them, knew the blonde. Biting her lip, she pushed that idea away. She still hadn't recovered from her embarrassment of asking him about Curly all those weeks ago - there was no way she was going to bring him up again, especially not in context with another girl. All she could do was be glad Ponyboy hadn't mentioned that discussion.

She resolved to simply block out the giggling girls so she could concentrate on her work. All that resolve was gone the moment someone behind her mentioned George Silvers. She knew who George was - Curly spoke of him often - and she couldn't help but be curious. If they were talking about George, would they talk about Curly?

Apparently they would.

"He has the softest hair," one of them said, and Lucy Jane rolled her eyes.

"And he's charming," another said, voice lowering. "I haven't met a greaser as charming as him since Soda Curtis left for 'Nam."

Lucy Jane looked at Ponyboy. She didn't know who this Soda Curtis was, but figured someone with the same last name and an equally as interesting first name had to be related to him. She realised as soon as she looked at Ponyboy that she was right. His whole body was tense, his hand close to snapping the pencil he was holding, and his eyes more full of pain than she had ever thought possible of anyone.

Her heart went out to him. Obviously Soda - who she assumed was his brother - was still in Viet Nam … or worse - but when Ponyboy met her shocked gaze, his eyes held nothing but defiance. He didn't want her pity, and she wouldn't give it to him, but she sure felt bad for him.

"George might be charming," said another voice, "but I can't stand him."

One of the girls snorted. "That's only because he tells you to get lost every time you try it on with Curly, but never any of the other girls Curly flirts with."

Lucy Jane's blood ran cold.

"So? It's none of his business who Curly's with or not with, and he should butt out."

"Maybe your brother should, too. You and Curly were the whole reason they got into that fight on Valentine's Day."

The conversation continued, but Lucy Jane couldn't hear any of it. Her hands were shaking and she felt a little sick. Swallowing back bile and the lump in her throat, she took a shuddering breath.

"Are you okay?"

She looked at Ponyboy, fighting to show the same defiance he had shown her, but failing miserably. Instead, she just nodded and packed up her books.

"I'm not feeling so great," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She fled the library without looking back.

XXXXX

It was times like these that Curly truly hated the secret part of his relationship with Lucy Jane. Times when they were both in the same place at the same time with most of the same people, but he couldn't touch her, talk to her, or even look at her unless he was careful about it. Times when they were both at the bowling alley, or Jay's, or had both been invited to the same party - something that happened more often than not, despite her and her friends blatant dislike for anyone who had once been considered a greaser.

He sighed and downed his beer. This was torture - pure fucking torture.

Leaning against the back wall, he disregarded the fact that he wasn't supposed to be looking at her, and let his eyes burn holes into her back as she talked to her friend, Emmy. He knew she knew he was watching her; she would glance around the room every few minutes, gaze resting on his, before turning back to her friends. Completely ignoring him.

Fuck her. If she wanted to act like a bitch and pretend as though he didn't exist, that was her decision. He didn't have to like it, but he also didn't have to put up with it.

Of course, there wasn't a shit load he could do about it. Hell, there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. He still understood why they couldn't come clean about their relationship, but he was coming to hate it more and more every single day.

The fighting sure didn't help. Constant fights about everything. It seemed as though neither of them could help themselves and he hated it. He knew she hated it, too, but that never stopped him from saying something insulting. Never insulting enough to hurt, but insulting enough to piss her off and get her to argue with him.

He didn't even know why he did, or why she always fought back. It wasn't fun; it was fucking painful. Fighting with Lucy Jane wasn't something he wanted to do - he cared about her a lot.

The fact that she hadn't been waiting for him or even come to meet him when he had turned up at her place the night before didn't help much either. He had sat in his car for a while, wondering what was keeping her before wondering just how long he could wait without seeming desperate. Already a few minutes late when he had arrived, he hadn't given her more than ten minutes.

He had wanted to. Hell, he had wanted to get out and knock on her door until she came down, but he couldn't do that. He had too much pride to be that pathetic.

Ponyboy was heading his way, and Curly forced himself to relax. Glaring at Lucy Jane wasn't going to do him any good, and having Pony see him do it especially wouldn't do any good. His buddy had already questioned him about her once, and with Lucy Jane asking him questions about Curly, he didn't need it to happen again.

"You seen Two-Bit?" Pony asked him, handing him a fresh beer.

Curly smirked. "Last time I saw him he was tryin' to talk Heather Tolan into goin' for a drive with him."

Pony raised an eyebrow. "Heather? Lucy Jane's friend who has more money than every hood in this house put together?"

"That's the one."

"Well …" Pony grinned. "Did he get her to go for a drive with him?"

Smirking again, Curly shook his head. "Na, she slapped him and threw her drink in his face."

Pony laughed, standing next to Curly. The music changed to something Curly didn't recognise, but when he saw McKenna lead Lucy Jane to where couples were slow dancing, he no longer cared about the song.

His scowl was back as he watched to two of them; McKenna's hands on her lower back, pulling her too fucking close. It made him sick and was itching to punch something.

Holding back a curse, Curly took a drink of his beer, and watched his girlfriend slow dance with some other guy.

It was more painful than not being able to talk to her and touch her, and he had to look away, only occasionally glancing back to make sure McKenna's hands didn't wander any lower than they should have. Again, the fact that she was obviously avoiding him made things even worse. He didn't know what he had done this time; he couldn't remember fighting the last time he had seen her - in fact, he vividly remembered making up the last time he had seen her - and his mind was overreacting, causing all kinds of messed up thoughts to enter his.

"She asked me about you a while back," Pony said.

Curly dragged his gaze away from his girlfriend again and looked at Pony. Pony was doing as he had been moments before, and staring at Lucy Jane.

"Who?" he asked, feigning ignorance.

"Lucy Jane." Pony glanced at him, _almost_ giving him a knowing grin. "Wanted to know if you were as much of a "juvenile delinquent" as you made out to be."

Curly laughed at the difference in Pony's words to Lucy Jane's. "What'd ya tell her?"

The song changed to something by The Doors - Lucy Jane favourite - and she pulled away from McKenna. Giving Curly a quick glance, she headed toward the stairs. She pushed past Two-Bit Mathews on her way, and he gave her a low bow.

"I reckon you might already know," Pony said, pushing away from the wall to go meet Two-Bit.

Curly didn't waste anytime; he followed Pony's direction, bypassing him when he came to the stairs, and heading up. The first floor was pretty deserted with only a few couples leaning against walls and one passed out greaser lying in the corner Lucy Jane was turning.

He didn't bother knocking when she headed into one of the many bathrooms - he didn't bother even waiting for her to close the door properly - before pushing it open. He stole a quick look behind him before making his way inside. Yelling, glaring, and maybe a few tears were what he expected, but the look she gave him was desperate as she leaned up to kiss him. He sighed into it, missing her lips, her taste, everything about her.

He didn't know what her problem had been the night before, and so long as she didn't tell him she had been with McKenna, he didn't care too much. Fuck, but he hoped she didn't tell him she had been with McKenna - that would just about kill him.

XXXXX

If this wasn't the worst way to go about confronting Curly, then she didn't know what was. And she had to do it, she had to know. She had hid in her room the night before, crying herself to sleep and fighting the urge to get up when she heard his car outside - fighting the urge to forget what she had heard just so they didn't argue again.

But she was hurt, that was all there was to it. Hurt because Curly was flirting with other girls, hurt because he had been in a fight because of some girl, hurt because they had been fighting constantly since he had shown his worry about her and Roger, but he was out flirting with girls anyway.

What did that even mean?

"I'm sorry," she murmured, pulling back and breathing heavily as his tongue laved at the skin of her neck.

"S'okay," he muttered, seemingly intent on getting the buttons of her dress undone.

This was how it was with them; they would fight, say hurtful things to each other, and let the frustration of their situation get the better of them. Then they would make up, not by talking things through, but with muttered apologies, frantic hands, and sex that left them both breathless. It probably wasn't the best way to make up, but their attraction was strong and it just came naturally.

"No, I need you to stop," she said.

Curly did, and pulled back to look at her. She didn't know what was going through his mind, but she could tell he sensed her mood and the pending fight.

"What happened?" he asked, voice low.

She looked at him as he leaned against the door behind him, all courage forcing its way out.

"I heard something in the library yesterday."

He gave her a look she couldn't describe. "Oh yeah? What was that?"

Fighting back tears, her voice shook as she spoke. "I heard that the fight you got into on Valentine's Day was all because of some girl - some girl you were flirting with. One of the _many_ girls you flirt with apparently!"

Granted, the girls at the table had never said _many_, but that was hardly the point. They had said girls, plural.

"So what?" Curly asked.

Her stomach sank. She hadn't ever expected him to admit to it. If she were honest with herself, she had been desperately hoping the greaser girls had just been gossiping, because everyone knew at least half of the gossip that made it through Will Roger's couldn't be relied on.

"It's true?"

"Fuck, Lucy." He sighed, running a hand through his hair and pushing away from the door. "You have another boyfriend! _You're_ the one dating another guy!"

"That's different!" she said.

"How? How is that different, Lucy Jane?" he asked, standing in front of her. "You go on these dates with McKenna, you let him hold your hand, and put his arms around you. You fucking kiss him goodnight - how is my flirting with a few girls different."

"Because you enjoy it!" she yelled, only realising then that that was her true fear.

Her eyes watered, and she looked away from his angry glare. Digging her nails into her palms, she thought about it - thought about Curly flirting with the girls he had known for years, spent time with, possibly done more than flirted with in the past.

His hand roughly grabbed at her jaw, forcing her to look at him and bite back a wince.

"You think I enjoy it?" he asked in a low voice. "You think I like having to go out on a Friday and Saturday night, and flirt with girls I don't even like when I could be holed up in my bedroom with you instead? You think I liked being out on Valentine's Day, having Beth fucking Travis offer herself to me when you're the only girl I wanna touch? Knowing you were out with McKenna, and that he'd do his goddamn best to try and touch you that way?"

Tears fell and she let out a sob at where this could very well have been going. Beth Travis must have been the blonde, and she had _offered herself to him_?

"I hated it, baby," he said, eyes and voice both softer. "I hated it so much I told Beth to fuck off and leave me the hell alone."

"You did?" She hated how pathetic she sounded.

"You have to trust me, Luce; I don't give a shit about any of the girls I flirt with - I only do it because I have to … just like you have to date McKenna," he said, sounding resigned to that fact.

"I don't want to," she muttered.

Curly sighed and slipped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. "I know, baby, but I'm fucking sick of it."

Closing her eyes and feeling more tears fall, she tightly wrapped her arms around Curly's waist. She stood still as his hands slowly roamed her body, and she was no longer angry, just tired. Tired of the secrets, tired of Roger, and tired of fighting with Curly. All she wanted was to be with him.

"This is why I never saw you last night?" he asked, sounding relieved to have a reason behind her standing him up.

She nodded. "I was too upset that it might have been true - that you might have preferred flirting with those girls than being with me."

"Those other girls mean nothing, Lucy Jane," he whispered, hands already inside her dress and burning paths over her skin. "They mean nothing and you mean everything."

She sighed into his hot touch - letting him touch all the places he wanted to touch while telling her all the things she needed to hear.

_And it burns, burns, burns  
__The ring of fire, the ring of fire_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading, and dedicated to Taylor because it's her birthday :)


	15. She Will Be Loved

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5.

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**CHAPTER FIFTEEN**

_I don't mind spending everyday  
__Out on your corner in the pouring rain_

Lucy Jane was pissed at him. It had become a bit of a habit, and one he wasn't impressed with. Not that she was impressed with it; half the time she was pissed at him it was because he was pissed at her first. This happened to be one of those times.

They fought much too often for a couple who were supposed to care about each other. Scratch that; they fought too much for a couple who _did_ care about each other. Because they did care, and they both hated their fights. They weren't almost fun or a form of flirting like they used to be - the were tiring and upsetting. He had seen Lucy Jane cry far more often than he liked, and it was almost always his fault.

But, she wasn't crying then. In fact, right then he had to stop himself from getting up and fucking her until she shut up. She was furious with him and she looked fantastic.

Her hair was wild, cheeks rosy, and breathing heavy. Were it not for her narrowed eyes, pursed lips, and clenched hands fisted on her hips, one would think he had already done exactly what he was holding back from. And were he not so adamant about not backing down, he probably would have let her get her own way, just so he could have her.

But he was adamant.

"You're being silly," he said, again.

"_I'm_ being silly? I'm not the one being stubborn and wanting to spend money I don't even have … just for a stupid birthday present," she cried.

He couldn't help himself. "That's because you always _have_ money."

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't start this," she pleaded softly.

Curly didn't want to start anything, but he was having a tough time stopping himself. It was bad enough finding out about Lucy Jane's birthday through school gossip. Hearing that his girlfriend had a birthday coming up from the rumour that she was receiving a trip to fucking Europe for the summer wasn't so much fun, but having her refuse to let him get her a gift just because he had less money than she did was bullshit.

Admittedly he had no clue what he would get her even if she did let him, but that wasn't the point. Neither was the fact that he would probably silently back down if she didn't. He wasn't whipped or anything - far from it - but he knew going against her on this one would only cause another fight when her birthday came about.

Another fight was the very last thing he wanted, especially on her birthday.

"Well, it's true," he muttered, sitting on his bed.

She bit her lip as she looked at him. "This isn't a big deal."

Curly stood right back up. "Not a big deal? It's your fuckin' birthday."

"So?" she asked, standing her ground. "You told me once that Christmas wasn't a big deal in your neighbourhood - are birthdays really anymore important?"

"Not usually -"

"Exactly!" she said, looking triumphant.

Curly smirked. "- but this one is."

"Why?"

He was unsure how to answer that because he really thought the answer was obvious. She was his _girlfriend_. Not knowing what to get her wasn't the point - _wanting_ to get her something was. He wasn't sure he could do the flowers or jewellery thing, but he wanted to get her something.

"Why can't you just let me?"

She fidgeted. "I told you why."

"You don't want me spending my money?"

"Curly, I … I don't want you spending your money on me. You have much more important things to be spending your money on … your car, for one."

Flopping back down on his bed, he rested his head on his hands. Did she really not get it? He looked up at her, noting she now looked more tired than angry. Hardly surprising; it was close to one in the morning, and it seemed like all they did anymore was fight.

He held his hand out. "C'mere."

She came, she always did. Sliding her hand into his, she dropped to her knees in front of him.

"I don't want to fight about this," she said. "I just don't see any point in you wasting money on me when there's so many other things you could spend money on."

"None of them are more important than you," he said, referring back to what she had previously said.

"Oh." She didn't say anything else, but smiled softly.

"You know you can't stop me from gettin' you somethin'."

Lucy Jane crossed her arms over one of his knees and looked up at him. "I'd really prefer it if you didn't.

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, and Curly finally sighed.

"If you're not gonna let me buy you anything, then at least let me do somethin' nice for you."

She nodded slowly, almost looking excited. "Anything."

"Tell your parents you're spendin' the night at Emmy's," he said, the idea only coming to him then, "and spend the whole night with me. I'll sort out the rest."

She smiled. "Consider it done."

Curly leaned down and kissed her forehead. He no longer cared so much about getting her a gift; the idea of spending the whole night with her - all fucking night - sounded prefect.

XXXXX

Lucy Jane sat opposite Emmy at a table in the library, wondering just how to go about this. Lying wasn't something that came terribly easy to her. Even Curly had been able to see through her constant lies to him after their first kiss, and he hadn't even known her then.

Emmy was her best friend, had been since forever. Lying to her would be difficult, to say the least. It was also something she didn't particularly want to do. But she would. She would because Curly wanted her to. He didn't want her to lie to Emmy, per se, but - in the unlikely event that her parents would call Emmy's house looking for her - they needed Emmy on board … even if she wasn't entirely sure what she was on board with.

And because of that - because she was pretty sure spending the night together meant more to the both of them than any gift he could get her - she would lie to her best friend. Goodness, she was already doing it anyway; had been since the first time Curly had kissed her, and had continued to do so since she and Curly had gotten together.

Of course, outright lying to her face was a little different. Not only that, but she really had no idea what she would say. The obvious reason to give would be Roger, but that wouldn't work without Roger being in on the lie and there was no way that was going to happen. Roger was becoming more and more pushy when it came to the two of them, but for some stupid reason, she still couldn't find it in herself to dump her safety net. So long as she was "with" Roger, no one could suspect anything about her and Curly.

She stared at Emmy for a few moments, hoping the words would come.

"Everything okay?" Emmy asked, pencil poised above the notebook she had been scrawling into.

"I need you to lie for me," Lucy Jane blurted out.

Emmy frowned. "Okay. What about?"

"I can't tell you."

"Lucy Jane, is everything okay?"

She nodded. "Everything is fine," she promised. "I just really need you to do me this one favour."

"Well, what is it?"

Licking her lips, she forced the next words out. "If anyone asks, I need you to tell them I'm staying at your place on Monday night."

"Monday is your birthday."

"I know."

Emmy said nothing for a while and Lucy Jane waited. Her insides fizzing with anxiety, but she showed a calm patience on the outside. It took a good while for Emmy to even look at her again.

"You really can't tell me what this is about?"

She shook her head. "I can't."

"You're my best friend Lucy Jane, so if you tell me this is important then I'll do it," Emmy said.

"I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important, Emmy."

Emmy nodded. "Okay then. I have to stay home and baby-sit that night anyway, so it works out reasonably well."

Lucy Jane reached across and squeezed Emmy's hand. "Thank you."

"Sure. Just remember, Lucy, I'm doing this because you're my best friend, but I'm supposed to be your best friend, too."

"You are," Lucy Jane insisted.

Emmy shook her head. "Best friends don't keep secrets from each other."

Guilt flooded Lucy Jane and she looked away. Emmy was right, but there was nothing she could do about it. If she could tell everyone everything about her and Curly without the repercussions, then she would. But she couldn't, and she knew this lie to Emmy would just make things worse between them should anyone ever find out.

XXXXX

Ponyboy was hiding a grin. "You're really gonna do all that for a chick? Some greaser you are."

"Fuck. What else can I do? She won't let me buy her anything, but … jeez, Pony, have you seen this girl?" Curly smirked. "She expects classy shit, man. I gotta do somethin'."

"And you think takin' her on a date is it? She's already against anyone finding out; you really think this'll make her happy?"

Since the party last weekend, Pony had made it clear he knew there was something going on between Curly and Lucy Jane. If Curly thought about it, he had made it clear that very night, but what Pony had thought he had known hadn't exactly been the most important thing on his mind at that stage. When Pony had just come out and said it at school on Monday, Curly had realised he shouldn't have been so obvious.

"Wanna tell me what's goin' on with you and Lucy Jane?" Ponyboy had asked.

Curly had once again feigned ignorance. "Whaddya talkin' about?"

"If I had to take a guess, I'd say there was some kinda secret relationship going -"

Pony didn't get the chance to finish his sentence; Curly grabbed him by the collar of his jacket, and pushed him up against the side of the school building.

"You keep yer fucking mouth shut," he hissed. "You don't know shit."

Glaring, Ponyboy shrugged him off. "Cool it, man, I ain't gonna tell anyone."

Curly calmed down. He had no idea how Pony had figured it out, but his buddy assured him it wasn't obvious to anyone else.

"Not yet anyway," he said with a grin. "You keep staring at her the way you were Saturday night, and the damn whole school'll know it."

Curly had kept that in mind, but hadn't done much to stop himself from watching her. She was hard to not look at.

Now, sitting on the hood of his car with Ponyboy, he shrugged, unsure if what he had planned would make Lucy Jane happy, or just piss her off. She hadn't been pleased to find out that Pony knew about him, but she hadn't been surprised either.

As far as Curly was concerned, Pony knowing about them was a relief; it was nice not to have such a huge fucking secret. It was the secret that caused all this stress between him and Lucy Jane - all the fights, arguments, and her tears. Having someone know took some of that stress away.

Deciding what to do for her birthday just brought that stress back.

"You don't think it's a good idea?" he asked.

Ponyboy shrugged. "You know her better than I do."

Curly sighed, and looked at the store they were parked outside of. Lucy Jane didn't want him buying anything for her, but … there was no but. She didn't want it. _But_, he couldn't help himself.

"Let's go," he said. "I don't wanna be caught buying this shit any longer than I have to be."

XXXXX

For once in their relationship, Curly was on time. There had been a note in her locker that morning, telling her to meet him at the corner of Bledisloe Avenue and Picket Place at seven, and he'd be there to pick her up. The small _miss you_ scribbled at the bottom of the note had shocked her in the most pleasant way.

She smiled as she climbed into his car, stomach full of a million butterflies at whatever was going to happen that night. She didn't know what he had planned, but she had been looking forward to it all day. And she might have felt a little silly about it, but it wasn't often that someone put a lot of thought into something for her.

Pulling away as soon as the door closed, he gave her a quick grin. "How's it goin'?"

"It's going good," she said. Patience wasn't her virtue. "What are we doing?"

He glanced at her. "Well, I thought we'd head over to Sand Springs and get some dinner. Maybe see a movie."

She bit her lip. "A proper date?"

"Yeah."

Curly sounded so nonchalant about it, but Lucy Jane's heart was pounding. An actual date with her boyfriend without the worry of anyone seeing them … She couldn't think of a better way to spend her eighteenth birthday.

Scooting to sit closer to him, she leaned back in her seat. "That sounds really prefect."

Curly threw an arm over the back of the seat, letting his hand rest on her shoulder. They drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence. It wasn't until Curly pulled into a parking lot a few minutes into Sand Springs that she spoke up.

"Pizza? I haven't had pizza in so long."

He frowned. "But it's your favourite."

"How do you know that?"

"You mentioned it once," he said.

Lucy Jane was at a loss for words. Knowing her favourite food wasn't a big deal, not even a little bit of a big deal, but goodness it made her feel special. She couldn't even remember when she had mentioned it was her favourite food, but Curly seemed to. Not only did he remember, but he had done something with it. If anyone ever found out about their relationship, she doubted they'd believe what a wonderful boyfriend he was.

It was just too bad that the pizza was terrible, and Curly's mood turned sour almost right away.

"Glory, Lucy Jane. If I'd known the pizza here was so shit I would've taken ya somewhere else," He threw a slice back onto the plate, glowering at the table.

She shrugged. "It's still better than whatever my mom cooks most nights."

"S'not the point," he muttered.

"Well, I guess." She sat her own slice down and reached for his hand. "But, it was still a really nice thought." He glared at her and she rolled her eyes, dropped his hand. "Gosh, Curly, you're so right; it was a dreadful thought and you've ruined my birthday."

"Shut it, Lucy."

A lump formed in her throat at his mood. It was supposed to be a good night.

"Well, how about that movie?" she said, keeping her voice as even as she could.

"See that building over there?" He nodded toward the parking lot. "That's the only movie house in the area."

She followed his gaze. "It's closed."

"Apparently they're building a new one on the other side of town."

"Oh." It didn't bother her, not really, but it seemed everything was going against them and it sure was bothering Curly. She hated that he'd gone to so much trouble only to have it not work out. "Well, we could just go for a drive or something."

"A drive? It's your fucking birthday, Luce, you think I want you to spend it drivin' around?"

"Fine," she spat, leaning back in her seat. "What do you want to do then?"

He looked at her for a long moment, before sliding his hand along the table to touch her own.

"I don't wanna fight," he said.

"Neither do I." She squeezed his fingers.

Rubbing a hand over his face, he sighed. "Let's just get outta here, huh? We can go for a drive or do whatever you want. It's your birthday - we'll just do whatever the fuck you want, okay?"

"It's kind of late," she said. "Let's just go back to your place."

She leaned into him as they headed back to his car, and he threw his arm around her shoulder. It didn't matter to her that the night had mostly been a bust, because it had still been time with Curly and that was what mattered.

"I'm real sorry the night was so shit," Curly said, driving with one hand while the other dug out his smokes.

She looked up from where she had been resting her head on his shoulder. "It wasn't."

He gave her a strange look. "Sure."

"I mean it," she said, sitting up. "Most my birthdays consist of being spoiled with gifts by my parents, having lunch or dinner with my parents, and spending the rest of the day being ignored by my parents. This has been much better than that."

Curly said nothing, but neglected his cigarette's to rest his spare hand on her head, fingers playing with her hair. She had been telling the truth, too. It didn't matter to her the clothes, books, and makeup her parents gave her - it mattered that Curly had wanted to do something nice for her. That was why she had been so quick to agree to it. That was why it meant so much.

Of course, the story about the duck and the elephant that Harry had "written" for her and read to her definitely mattered.

They were silent for the rest of the drive, and Lucy Jane felt at ease. The night hadn't turned out perfect, but it had still been pretty great, and not long later they were inside his bedroom, and Curly was locking the door.

"Listen," he said, turning to face her. "Don't be pissed at me, but I got you somethin'."

"What do you mean?"

He shrugged and walked over to his bed. "I bought you a present."

"But … I told you not to."

"I know you did." He sighed. "Don't make this into a big deal, Luce. It ain't anything big, just somethin' I knew you'd like."

Digging something out from near his pillows, he stood for a moment, as though contemplating whether or not to give it to her. She didn't know how to feel. She had told him not to get her anything, and had truly not wanted him spending his money on her. But he had, and that was awful sweet of him.

"Here." He handed her something, and her heart clenched.

"You bought me this?" she asked, voice barely a whisper.

He shrugged, but his voice was tense. "This is meant to be a good thing, Lucy Jane. Don't turn it into a fight."

"It is a good thing." She smiled at him. "But … it's a Doors record. You hate the Doors. You said you'd never waste your money on them."

"You don't hate them, and it wasn't wasted money if you like it."

"I love it."

He moved to stand right in front of her. "Happy Birthday, baby."

_It's not always rainbows and butterflies  
__It's compromise that moves us along_

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.

I was up and down for a while about whether to post this chapter or completely cut it for two reasons. One: It's terribly cute and fluffy and _I_ know that I write the angst better than I do the fluff, lol. Two: I know y'all are waiting for Lucy Jane to sort her shit out, and that doesn't happen in this chapter. But, as you can see, I decided to post anyway. I mean, even this can't be _all_ bad, and, well ... y'all are just going to have to be patient when it comes to Lucy Jane and Roger. You don't have long to wait - promise ;)

So, reviews are appreciated. I'd love to know what you think of the chapter I was going to cut, lol.


	16. 1 Crush

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "#1 Crush" by Garbage.

* * *

**CHAPTER SIXTEEN**

_See your face every place that I walk in,  
__Hear your voice every time that I'm talking_

Tim was back. He'd been released that morning and Curly had been dreading seeing him since George had reminded him about it. Really, having to be reminded by his best mate that his own brother was being released from prison? It showed him just how quickly and obviously the gang was no longer the most important thing in his life.

It wasn't that he had forgotten, he just hadn't remembered it was that very morning. Fuck it; the lie sounded bad in his own mind. He'd completely forgotten and it was all Lucy Jane's fault. It was hardly fair to be blaming her, but she was basically all he thought about these days which made it entirely her fault.

She was also just another reason for him to not be looking forward to seeing Tim.

Nearly all the jobs had gone perfectly since that first one where he had been knifed, and Curly had had a large part in them going so well. Sure, Lucy Jane was on his mind most of the time, but he still pulled off the jobs without any problems, and still had Danny grinning at him when they left the meeting point.

He sighed. Sometimes he really wished Danny was the permanent leader of the gang.

It didn't matter how well Curly had done these last six or seven weeks, all that would matter was that one of his jobs had been short one car, that he was failing English, and that he had been in that stupid fight with Scott Travis on Valentine's Day. As usual, Tim would only take notice of the ways Curly had fucked up. And if being with Lucy Jane was anything where Tim was concerned, it was a fuck up.

Tim didn't need to know about Lucy Jane. Curly was sure he wouldn't give two shits to know his brother had a serious girlfriend, but if he found out exactly who Lucy Jane was, then he wouldn't be impressed. It was dangerous with the jobs they were doing, it was going to get Curly into trouble with those rich assholes if they found out, and it was just a plain stupid decision on his part. He wasn't an idiot; he knew exactly what Tim would think about it.

Despite that, despite his anger at how Tim would react to Lucy Jane - the one good thing in his otherwise shitty life - Curly still wanted Tim to notice the good things he had done.

Danny trusted him, always took him on important jobs, and always told him he'd done a good job. And he did do a good job; if there was one person who could've nicked a car quicker and quieter than him, it was Steve Randle, and Curly couldn't even remember the last time he'd seen that guy. Curly did better than any of the other guys in the gang, and he wanted Tim to realise it.

Sighing, he turned off his car and climbed out. He couldn't hide from Tim forever … he didn't _want_ to hide from Tim forever. He just wanted to get this over with, and do his fucking best to pretend he _wasn't_ keeping something from his brother.

He'd always had trouble lying to Tim, and he just hoped he might have grown out of it in the last few weeks.

Apparently he hadn't. Tim kept giving him looks while they talked, and Curly had to wonder if he was just being paranoid, if he was being completely obvious about having a secret while trying to be anything but, or if Danny had ratted him out and told Tim Curly was seeing a girl most nights.

He decided quickly against that one. For all Danny knew, it was just some greaser girl he was seeing - something Tim wouldn't have a problem with so long as she didn't interrupt his business with the gang. Which meant Curly was either completely paranoid, or still shitty at hiding anything from Tim. Hell, possibly a little of both.

Clenching his fists, he fought the urge to run a hand through his hair as Tim told the gang about the plans to up the ante on the cars they were taking. They were going for the big shots now; the fucking country clubs. Then the job would be done for at least a few months.

That was fine with Curly. He'd miss the money, sure, but having his nights free again sure sounded nice. Especially now that Tim was home which meant he couldn't take Lucy Jane home with him anymore.

"Curly," Tim called, as the meeting came to an end and most of the guys took off.

Getting up from his chair, Curly headed toward the table Tim was sitting at.

"Good to have ya back, man," he said honestly. He might have been annoyed at his brother for a number of things, but he was still his brother.

Tim grinned, but went straight into business. "Danny said you've been doin' real good. Said he's had you on most of the jobs and you ain't messed up once."

Curly shrugged. He was surprised, but let out a quick grin. "There was one fuck up when I was short one car."

"If Dale and Vic ain't bothered by it, neither am I," Tim said. "They can take it as retribution for fuckin' knifing you like they did."

Curly nodded, but said nothing. He wasn't stupid enough to think that would be it - that Tim would praise him for a job well done, tell him the one fuck up he made wasn't a big deal, and let him be one his way. There had to be something else.

Tim gave the downtown warehouse a cursory glance, before he began talking again. Doing the same, Curly noticed all the guys but Danny had left.

"What's goin' on?" Tim asked.

"What do you mean?"

His brother gave him a cool look. "You've been on edge since you got here; if somethin's up - if one of the guys is screwing up - I gotta know about it."

His chest felt light with relief. "Nothin's goin' on," he said. "Not that I know of anyway … I can ask around for ya if you want."

Tim stared at him for a long moment, before finally shaking his head. "Na, it's fine. Go get outta here, I gotta talk to Danny."

He did as Tim asked, and quite happily at that. The sigh of relief that had been threatening since Tim had asked about the guys fell as he climbed into his car. He wasn't going to make up lies about the guys, but he wasn't about to tell Tim the truth either.

XXXXX

Lucy Jane looked about as miserable as he felt. He sighed, not used to feeling like this about anything, but especially not a girl. His feelings for Lucy Jane were … well, he wasn't sure he wanted to even think about what they were. All he knew was that he hated how sad she looked.

"We can still hang out here," he said, looking gloomily at the trees surrounding them.

She shrugged. "I guess."

Her mood wasn't exactly helping him, his mood, or his efforts in making her feel better.

"C'mon, it won't be so bad. I mean …" he trailed off with another heavy sigh.

He was lying. It would be that bad and worse. Not having Lucy Jane in his bed at night would kill him. It was bad enough the nights she couldn't come for whatever reason, and now she wouldn't be able to come at all. It wouldn't be missing out on one or two nights because of her parents, her school work, or his jobs in the gang - it would be missing out every night.

"I guess this means you won't be at Jason's party tomorrow?"

Curly looked at her, wishing he could say yes. It might have been tough being at a party with her when he couldn't go near her, but it sure was better than not being at the same party as her. At least being at the same party meant being in the same place, and occasionally getting the chance to sneak away together.

"Na," he said. "I gotta go to Buck's party; Tim's holdin' another meeting."

She nodded. "Right."

He watched her play with a hem on her skirt, and huffed out a breath. Fuck it all. Reaching for her hand, he gave it a squeeze, making her look at him.

"You know, this would all be easier if we just told everyone about us," he said, hating the begging tone he could hear in his voice.

Her eyes widened. "You want to tell people?"

She sounded so unsure - so surprised - that his heart sank. He didn't know what he wanted, really. He wanted her, and he wanted things to be easier, but did he really want to tell people? Did he really want to tell Tim?

Fuck yes he did.

"Think about, baby. Think about how much easier it would be if everyone knew. You could come around whenever you wanted, we could go out whenever we wanted, and we could actually be around each other at school."

Lucy Jane bit her lip, looking thoughtful.

"All the stress would be gone," he said. "We'd stop fighting, stop worrying, and you would be able to stop dating that shit McKenna."

She frowned. "Is that what this is about? Me and Roger?"

His stomach tightened. _Me and Roger_. The words coming out of her mouth made him feel sick, and he wondered just how it was she could say them so fucking easily - as if they came naturally to her, as if she liked them.

"It ain't about him," he said, angrily. "It's about _us_."

That was both true and an outright lie. It was about them, about them having such an easier time of things if they were to just tell everyone. But, it was about McKenna. It was always about McKenna because the idea of that guy's hands on his girl made Curly want to kill him.

She sighed. "I just don't feel like we should tell anyone yet."

"Yet? Or ever?"

"You say that as if you think I'm ashamed," she said.

"I know you ain't ashamed," he said. "But … Look, I might not have as much to lose as you do, but I'm still gonna get plenty of shit if people find out."

She nodded. "Exactly why we shouldn't -"

"Difference is," he interrupted, "I don't care anymore."

"You don't?"

Curly said nothing, wondering if there was any point in continuing. He knew she wouldn't want to tell people about them and he understood, he really did. Hell, a part of him still agreed, despite his willingness to tell. As much of a hard time as they had then, it would just get worse once people knew. Finally, he decided honesty was best. It had worked in getting her in the first place, maybe it would work keeping her his.

"Maybe it's a little about you and McKenna," he said, having to force the name out.

"Curly -"

Tangling his hand in her hair, he kissed her hard. There was a sense of urgency, possession, and uncontrollable need in his kiss, and Lucy Jane kissed him back with equal fervour, gripping at his T-shirt, whimpering into his mouth, and tugging him as close as she could.

He pulled back with difficulty, not wanting to get distracted by her sweet lips. His kiss had been to get his point across.

"I hate him, Lucy Jane," he whispered. "You're my girlfriend, and I don't want him near you. If it means telling Tim about us to keep McKenna away from you, then I'll happily do it."

She stared at him for a few long moments, before moving her hands to his face and trailing kisses across his jaw.

"It won't be long," she promised. "Just a little while longer."

He didn't believe her.

XXXXX

Things were becoming unbearable. Lucy Jane found being in a secret relationship hard enough without the extra stress that the last few days had added; Curly's intense need for things to end with Roger, his brother being released from jail, and Roger's newfound pushiness for the two of them to sleep together.

At least she knew that no matter what happened with Tim, and no matter how angry Curly got about Roger, she could deal with Roger and all of his advances. A well placed "I'm not ready for that" usually did the trick.

It made her sick, really - his touch, his kisses, everything about him. All she wanted was Curly. And she could have it, too, if she were willing to tell everyone about their relationship. Curly was willing - ready and willing and eager from the sounds of it - and she knew for a fact it wasn't just talk. When he said he would tell his brother about them if he had to, he had meant it.

Lucy Jane wished she had that kind of courage.

"What's gotten into you tonight?" Roger asked, as she pushed him away for what must have been the third time in as many minutes.

"I just don't feel like it," she snapped.

They were sitting on the porch swing outside Jason Black's house. Lucy Jane in hopes that Curly's meeting might finish early and he would end up coming to the party after all. She wouldn't get to speak to him if he did, but she could at least see him arrive. Roger was sitting with her in the hopes that being alone might get him inside her knickers. Unfortunately for the both of them - each for their own reasons - neither of those seemed to be happening.

She sighed. Roger was only kissing her really. Those were his words, though, not hers. There was no _only_ kissing with Roger, because anything that involved touching him was more than she wanted to do.

Unfortunately, kissing him was what she had to do. But only for a little while longer. She didn't know how she would so it, or what would happen when she did do it, but one day she would tell everyone about she and Curly. The whole school, all of her friends, and even her parents. It wouldn't be pretty, but she would do it.

One day. If she ever found herself the courage Curly had. She sighed again; that was a pretty big _if_.

Roger's lips were on hers again, and she fought back the urge to cry as she kissed him with a complete lack of enthusiasm. He didn't seem to care - just continued kissing her and attempting to slide his hand up her dress.

She pushed him away again. "Stop it."

He scowled at her and she looked away. Her heart practically skipped a beat at the sight of Curly's car parked next to the sidewalk. Digging her nails into her palms, she had to remind herself that getting up and going to him was not a good idea.

"I'm going inside," Roger muttered, and his timing couldn't have been more perfect. "You coming?"

She shook her head, barely paying him any attention. He scowled at her again, and left. Lucy Jane was out of her seat right away, but Curly was pulling his car away and driving down the street. She followed him with a quick glance behind her to make sure no one was following. It was probably pointless ; the chance of Curly waiting for her or even coming back to the party was slim. Almost non-existent.

But not entirely non-existent. He had pulled up way down the other end of the street, but she reached his car, and couldn't see him anywhere near by, she began to wonder. Her stomach sank; was it even his car?

A hand grabbed her arm, and she cried out as she was yanked into the alley next to the car. She had to catch her own balance as she was basically thrown against the wooden fence behind her. She looked up with eyes wide to see Curly staring down at her. He was really holding onto her arms more tightly than he needed to.

"What the hell was that?" he hissed.

"Curly, you're hurting me," she said softly, attempting to struggle out of his vice-like grip.

"Tell me what you did with him."

"Nothing."

"Bullshit," he snapped. "Tell me the fucking truth."

Lucy Jane sighed, trying to stay calm. "We kissed. That's it. But you already knew that would happen."

A wave of emotions flashed over his face, and his hands, though she hadn't thought possible, tightened around her arms. She winced.

"You're hurting me," she said.

"Tell me what else happened. Have you slept with him?" Curly was glaring at her, but she was sure she saw a tiny bit of vulnerability in his eyes. "Have you been letting him fuck you all this time?"

"No!"

"You're lying!" He was right in her face, and she flinched away - not scared of _him_, but of the way he was acting.

"I'm not lying! Why would I lie?"

"Why wouldn't you?" he spat. "Why wouldn't you sleep with him? He's everything you want isn't he? A rich, smart, football player -"

"Stop," she pleaded, tears forming in the backs of her eyes. She hated when he got like this; yes, they were different, but if he hadn't realised by now that it was him she wanted, would he ever?

"Why should I believe you?" he yelled. "Why wouldn't you lie to me? Why wouldn't you fuck him?"

"Because I love _you_!" And glory it was true.

He squeezed harder. "You're lying."

"Curly, I'm not lying. Please, let go, you're hurting me." A sob caught in her throat as she said it, and Curly finally took notice.

Pulling back, he let go of her arms and stepped away. She rubbed where he had been holding; it hurt, a lot

"I don't want you with him no more," he said. He turned away from her, raking a hand through his hair.

"Okay."

"I mean it, Luce." He turned back to face her. "You have to break up with him tomorrow."

She nodded, still rubbing her arms. "Okay. I will, I promise."

She would do it, too, because this Curly wasn't the Curly she wanted. It wasn't even that he had hurt her; it was that he looked like he hadn't slept in weeks, was absolutely paranoid about another boy touching her, and had looked so hurt at the idea of her sleeping with Roger that it made her ache. She suddenly realised just what she was doing to him, and she hated herself for it.

His gaze travelled down to her reddened arms. "Shit."

This time she didn't say anything to him, just watched his face and the million emotions that flickered over it until he looked back up at her.

"I hurt you." He sounded so dismayed.

She nodded, unable to deny it. "Yeah."

"Fuck!" he swore, once again running his hand through his hair and turning away.

He had turned away in the past, and this time she expected him to turn back and yell at her, tell her he was sorry, or kiss her, like usually did. She didn't expect him to start walking away, digging his keys out of his pockets.

"Wait!" she cried. She followed him, and grabbed his arm.

He yanked it out of her grasp and glanced at her for a second. "Go home, Lucy Jane."

"Where are you going?"

He shrugged. "Away from you."

He wouldn't look at her properly and she had to admit, it hurt worse than the marks on her arms.

"Why?"

"Don't play dumb, Lucy Jane, it doesn't suit you."

She stopped then. She could take the pain in her arm. She could take the way he sometimes squeezed her hand a little too tightly when something was wrong. She could even take it - and maybe even enjoy it - when he liked to play a little rough in bed. But she couldn't take him ignoring her this way.

"Please stop," she said, softly, knowing he was still close enough to hear her but not knowing if he would stop.

He did. "Why?" he asked, his back still to her.

"Because I don't want you to go."

"You should."

She frowned; she didn't know what to say to that. "Curly …"

He finally turned. "I hurt you," he said again.

She heard the emotion in his voice, and fought back the tears. She knew he hadn't meant to hurt her and she hated how he was feeling about it.

"It's okay" she said.

"Jesus Christ, Lucy Jane." He started walking away again. "It's _okay_? Are you fucking kidding me?"

She followed. "I know it's not _okay_, but you didn't do it on purpose, did you?"

"Of course not," he snapped, turning to face her.

She continued walking towards him, stopping only a few feet away. "Please don't go."

"Lucy." His voice sounded strangled.

"Please," she continued, stepping up to him and grabbing his hand. "It was an accident. It's not like you hit me or anything … we both know you would never do anything to truly hurt me."

He was silent for a moment, his gaze set on something behind her, before he spoke in a gruff voice. "Did you mean what you said? That you loved me?"

Her heart thudded and she nodded. "Yes … do you love me?" she asked, pretty sure he wouldn't tell her either way without being prompted, and she would be left wondering.

He lowered his gaze, stared at her, and nodded once. "Yeah," he said roughly. "And I'm sorry for hurting you."

She wanted to apologise back, knowing how much she'd been hurting him by being with Roger, but she wasn't sure how well he'd take that. They were both silent for a few minutes, holding hands in the dark, quieted street, and looking at each other.

"I'll break up with him tomorrow," she finally said.

He sighed and nodded again. "Good."

Reaching up on her toes, she pressed her lips against his, swiping her tongue along his bottom lip when he didn't respond. When he started kissing her back, it was in a way he never had before, and she truly wondered if she would have known from the kiss alone that he loved her back.

_I've been dying just to feel you by my side,  
__To know that you're mine_

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.

I hope y'all can understand Curly's anger, lol.


	17. Gates of Hell

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "I Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty.

* * *

**CHAPTER SEVENTEEN**

_In a world that keeps on pushin' me around,  
__But I'll stand my ground, and I won't back down_

Lucy Jane allowed her eyes to fall closed as the soft lips on her neck sucked lightly.

"You shouldn't be doing this," she whispered.

She could almost feel Curly's smirk against her skin.

"Why not? Don't ya like it?"

Oh, but she did. She could feel a heat spread over her entire body, and knew her face was flushed. She could only hope the blood drained from her face before she left the quiet corner of the library.

"Let's skip," Curly said, lifting his head to look at her. "We can go to the lake and spend the whole day doin' whatever we want."

"I can't," she whispered. "I have an English test this afternoon."

"So?"

"So I need to be there for that. I'll meet you there this evening, though. I'll be able to get away just after dinner."

Curly said nothing as he lightly ran his fingers up and down her bare arms. It had been over a week since their fight, and he hadn't held her hard enough to leave any kind of mark, but she could still see the regret in his eyes as he stared down at her pale skin.

Finally, he sighed and leaned his forehead against hers. "Just after dinner. I s'pose I can wait until then."

He leaned into kiss her again, and just like every other time he caught her in the library, thoughts of being caught by others were nonexistent. Curly was all she could think about - his lips pressing against her own, his body warming her up perfectly, and his fingers threading with hers as he pulled her closer. She went willingly.

Noise from a few aisles over pulled them apart, and Curly sighed.

"Fuck it," he muttered. "How much longer, baby?"

"How much longer what?"

He glared at her. "How much longer do I gotta keep my hands off of you at school? I'm sick of hiding."

"I know," she said, softly. "But I'm not with Roger now; doesn't that count for anything?"

"Sure it does," Curly said. "But it don't change that your reasons for keeping this a secret are shit. I already told you I'd be willing to tell Tim; you're the only reason this is still a secret."

"But, you said that when you wanted to keep Roger away from me."

Curly pulled right back. "You think that's it? Christ, Lucy, you think I like bein' a secret? You think I like knowing that you're too ashamed to tell anyone about us?"

"I'm not ashamed!" She had forgotten where they were and her voice was rising. "I am not ashamed," she said again, quieter.

He looked at her for a long moment, watching her carefully as though trying to figure out how honest she was being. Finally, he shrugged.

"Okay, but it sure is startin' to feel like you are."

"But you know I'm not."

He shrugged again. "Don't change how I feel."

She thought about that, hating herself for making him feels so bad - making him feel as though she were ashamed of him. She wasn't. She truly wasn't, and if she didn't have so much to lose by telling people about them, she would do it in an instant.

But she did have too much to lose. Her friends would abandon her in a flash - no questions asked, just outright social rejection. How was she supposed to survive at school everyday without her friends? She would have no one to talk to, sit with, or have lunch with. She would be completely alone.

"I would lose everything," she whispered.

"You'd have me."

"But I wouldn't have any friends -"

"If they were true friends, they'd stick by you," he said.

She shook her head. "Emmy is already annoyed at me because she knows I'm hiding something from her. Can you imagine her reaction if I told her what it was? Then I would have no friends."

"But you'd have _me_," he said again, voice earnest as he tightened his hold on her hands.

She nodded. "Yes, I would. But I'd also have all of your friends hassling me, accusing me of all kinds of things. They already hate me just because my family has money; imagine what they would say about me if they knew I was dating you."

"They wouldn't care."

They both knew that was a lie. His friends might not be as bothered about their relationship as hers would be, but they sure wouldn't make it easy on either of them.

"I'm not ashamed of you," she said, pulling him into her. "But I can't tell anyone yet."

XXXXX

Curly was still fuming from his talk with Lucy Jane as he walked out of school that afternoon. He didn't understand what was so fucking great about her friends if they couldn't understand and accept what she wanted. Of course, the fact that Tim probably wouldn't understand or accept didn't enter his mind.

Scowling at anyone who glanced his way, he pushed past some younger kids and made his way to his car. If only he could convince her that coming clean was really worth it. If only he could make her see that some people just weren't worth it. He sighed. If only he could make her see that he _was_ worth it.

Maybe she just didn't think he was. Sure, she loved him. She had told him a few times now, and he couldn't help but believe her. It was so fucking obvious every time she looked at him. And shit, he loved her back; didn't know when or how it had happened, but he knew he did. Seemed to him, though, that he ought to feel anything but love for the girl after all the fighting they did.

But was her loving him enough? He was starting to doubt it. Doubting what his girlfriend thought he was and wasn't worth was pretty damn depressing. But, feeling like she was ashamed of him - something he hadn't felt until recently - was just crap. It sucked and he was sick of feeling like that.

He looked up as he neared his car. Roger McKenna was in front of him, standing with his friends and throwing a football around the parking lot. Curly glared, wanting nothing more than to shove the goddamn football down McKenna's mouth. Fucking bastard. Lucy Jane might have dumped him, but Curly still hated the shithead.

Itching for a fight he couldn't have, he thought it was all pretty shitty timing as he reached his car - parked awfully close to McKenna's - and Lucy Jane walked passed. Curly went stock still, wondering if she had seen him, or was just a decent enough actress to continue chattering to her friend without even glancing his way. Christ, how could she be with him one minute, and a complete bitch the next?

Watching her as subtly as he could, he slowly unlocked his car. He was about ready to climb in and try to forget about her for a while, when McKenna and his buddies started talking loudly.

"Too bad you didn't get into her before she dumped you," one of them said, loud enough for Lucy Jane to hear.

Curly froze. Looking at his girlfriend, he noticed her stiffen.

McKenna scoffed. "As if. Lucy Jane is such a fucking ice queen." He laughed. "I doubt she'll even put out on her wedding night."

His buddies laughed, and Curly hissed in a breath.

"Wouldn't even let me up her blouse," McKenna continued, twirling the football on his fingers. "Sure was a good kisser though; would have liked to have had the chance to put that mouth to good use."

He was surprised at how calmly he made his way toward McKenna and his buddies. He knew he should leave it alone, but there wasn't a chance of that happening. All he could hear was a heavy rushing in his ears, but even as he made his way toward them, he knew he was about to fuck up. It would be one of those times Tim got pissed of him for letting his emotions take control, and making a stupid decision. It didn't matter.

He was also surprised at how well he kept his cool. When all he wanted to do was pound McKenna's face in, "accidentally" bumping into the fucker sure was a relaxed way to go about it. His fingers were itching, and his hands were clenched into fists, but instead of jumping him, he turned to face McKenna.

"Sorry, asshole," he said. It was perfectly placed, almost sincere sounding, and rewarded with an icy glare. Curly grinned. "Couldn't help but overhear about your girl troubles, buddy. I wouldn't worry about her holdin' out on ya too much longer, I mean, even _I've_ fucked Lucy Jane."

Considering who they both were, it sounded as fake as it needed to. In fact, it sounded like an out and out ploy to get McKenna to have it out with him. Despite the truth to half of what Curly had said, and despite how fucking good it felt to say it in front of everyone - Lucy Jane and her feelings be damned - a ploy to get under McKenna's skin was basically what it was.

More than anything, though, he was surprised at how many hits he got in before McKenna's buddies started pulling him away.

A blind rage had taken over his entire body, and he felt like he could barely breath. The effort he was putting into beating McKenna to a pulp was large compared to the amount of air he was taking in. But then he was pulled away, breathes coming in gasps, and all he wanted was to throw himself back at the bastard.

When his own buddies pulled McKenna's off of him, he did exactly that. He was more than happy to hear the distinct sound of a nose breaking.

It was the assistant principal who finally broke them up. Both were breathing heavily by that stage, and McKenna had managed to get in a few punches of his own. It was clear who had come out on top, though; where Curly had a split lip and soon to be bruised jaw, McKenna had blood running down his face and was almost crying as he tried to stop the flow from his nose.

"Get him to the nurse," Mr. Clayton barked, looking at McKenna and his friends.

He turned to glare at Curly. "You. In my office. Now."

Smirking, Curly followed Mr. Clayton back toward the school, refusing to even glance at Lucy Jane.

XXXXX

"What the fuck were you thinking?" Tim roared.

It was a little close to five in the evening and Curly had only just arrived home. Arriving home to find his brother in an already bad mood hadn't been a good thing when he had the news of his most recent suspension to share.

Four days. Not too terrible when you took a look at the damage he'd done. McKenna was a mess. Curly had peaked into the nurse's room on his way back to his car just to make sure. He couldn't help the smirk at that memory; he'd been itching to have it out with this guy for months now, and it had been worth the suspension.

"Fuck, Tim, it just happened, okay? It ain't a big deal."

Tim's voice was cold. "Not a big deal? Curly, do you have any fuckin' clue who this guy's parents are?"

He couldn't keep the scowl off of his face. It felt as though it had been permanent since his fight with Lucy Jane.

"Of course not," he muttered.

"His old man runs one of the banks downtown," Tim hissed. "Both his parents are huge fucking investors in Southern Hills Country Club. The very same country club we're hitting in a few weeks."

Oh. "Shit."

"Shit's a fucking understatement, Curly," Tim said. "If this guys parents decide to press charges on you, they're gonna know who you are and who you spend your time with. The only reason we have a way in there is 'cause Bobby parks cars for the fuckers. It'll make things pretty fuckin' hard when it comes to stealing from them if they know Bobby's your family now."

"I didn't know -"

Tim scoffed. "Of course you didn't. Why the fuck did ya pick a fight with this guy anyway?"

"He's a jerk," Curly muttered.

"Ain't no reason to be pickin' fights with someone."

"Since when? You used to do it to Dallas Winston all the time."

Tim ignored that, and stared at him. Curly did his best to hold his gaze, but was damn near positive Tim could see right through him.

"If this messes everything us, I'll be holding you responsible."

Curly nodded. "Fair enough."

And it really was. He hadn't known who McKenna's parents were, but picking a fight with him had been a stupid idea, and he had known it at the time. He wouldn't take it back, though. Not ever. It felt too fucking good hitting him to ever consider taking it back.

But what about Tim? What about the plan for the last of the jobs? Had he really screwed up that badly by jumping McKenna? Fuck, he hoped not. Tim's words at being held responsible were more than clear. He knew what would happen - knew what a hiding he'd receive if it was all fucked up because of him.

He wondered if it would make any difference to Tim if he knew why he had gone for McKenna the way he had. He doubted it. The few times Tim had had a serious girl, he had never let anyone talk shit about her, but he'd also never been stupid enough to date someone like Lucy Jane.

Fucking Lucy Jane. Fucking Tim. Christ. All he wanted was to be with her, and to please him, but he couldn't do either. The chances of both happening were nonexistent; if he had Lucy Jane, he'd have to tell Tim about her, and it in itself would piss his brother off. It was all just a big fucking mess.

He was sick of it all. Sick of trying to impress Tim. Sick of being kept a damn secret. Sick of everyone treating him like shit.

XXXXX

Lucy Jane's heart practically leapt out of her chest when she heard a car rumbling behind her. It was freezing out, and sitting on the hood of her car wasn't ideal, but she had wanted to hear anyone who might arrive at the lake.

Even if she was furious at him.

"What're you doin' here?" Curly snapped, once he was out of his car and standing in front of her.

Oh, how she longed to take his face in her hands, kiss his wounds better, and tell him she loved him. She would, too, just as soon as she made her point.

"What on earth were you thinking?"

He glared at her. "You know, you sound an awful lot like Tim just now."

Blinking back tears, she continued. "Do you have any clue what this has done? I know you got a suspension because _everyone_ knows. I'm _never_ going to see you now! I hardly see you here as it is, I still can't come to your place at night, and now I'm not even going to see you at school."

"All of which can be easily fixed," he muttered.

She didn't know what he meant, but he looked so miserable that she couldn't just sit back anymore. Jumping to her feet, she took his hand and leaned into him. He was so warm, even in the cold and without a jacket on. Maybe that was why she was reminded of him in the cold weather; he never seemed concerned by it.

He pulled away almost as soon as she rested against him.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "Did he hit your ribs? Are they okay?"

Her hands gently slid beneath his T-shirt, feeling his warm skin. He stopped her immediately, yanking her hands away and glaring down at her.

"Stop it."

She frowned. "Stop what?"

"Stop fucking touching me, Lucy Jane."

It felt like a punch to the gut. He was so angry, his voice was so full of hate, and … he _didn't_ want her to touch him? She swallowed, dropping her hands; she couldn't remember him ever telling her to stop touching him. The physical side of their relationship had always been strong - had been the beginning of the relationship where they no longer hated each other - and his stopping her now made her feel hurt and unwanted.

He took a step back. "Did you even hear what that prick said about you today?"

"Of course I did." She fidgeted, knowing the truth but not wanting it to come out wrong. "But it was so unlike him that I don't think he meant it. I think his family's going through a rough time -"

"You're standing up for him?"

"No! I know what he said was wrong. It was a horrible thing to say."

"Then how about a little fucking gratitude, huh?" he said angrily. "I stand up for you, and all I get is you bitching about not seein' me anymore?"

"Stand up for me? You told the whole school you had slept with me!"

Curly scoffed. "As if anyone believed that."

He was right; that was why she wasn't really angry about it. Shocked, yes, but not angry. At first she had been indignant - absolutely horrified that Curly would go against her wishes and tell everyone in such a disgusting way - but then she had witnessed him hitting McKenna. It was wrong, but she had been secretly thrilled that he had stood up for her.

"You're right," she said, stepping toward him and hoping to God he didn't stop her. "You stood up for me, and all I've done is complain."

His eyes softened, but only for a moment. "Doesn't that tell you something, baby?"

"Tell me what?" she asked, somewhat afraid of his answer.

"You're friends were there," he said. "They were standing right next to you; you're best friend and some other girls - McKenna's own sister, for fuck's sake - and none of them stood up for you."

She was silent.

"Christ," he muttered, running a hand through his hair. "I've made it perfectly clear who cares about you more, Lucy. I've proved that I care about you more than those people you like to call friends, and without even meaning to. Question is, who do you care more about?"

"You're asking me to choose?"

He shook his head. "I'm sayin' you shouldn't have to choose, but you do it anyway."

"No." She shook her head. "You're wrong; I don't choose them."

"You do. You do it just by keepin' me a secret. You're choosing by deciding losing them as so-called friends is more important than really bein' with me." He scoffed again. "You say you love me, and that you ain't ashamed, but neither seems all that true.

"Curly … of course I love you."

Taking a few steps back, he sighed. "Whatever. I'm done. I've told you what I want to know, and you can't even tell me."

He began to walk away, but she grabbed his arm. "Don't go," she pleaded. "It's you I care most about, you know it is."

"Then prove it. Not tellin' your family is somethin' I can almost understand. I know they'll try and keep us apart, but we'll deal with that together." He grabbed her hands, holding tightly. "Tell them, baby. Tell your friends and family about us."

"I - I can't -"

She would lose everything.

Curly nodded, like it was the answer he expected. He dropped her hands. "Then get lost, 'cause I don't believe shit from you."

_Hey, baby, there ain't no easy way out,  
__Hey, I will stand my ground, and I won't back down._

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.


	18. A Girl Alone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "The Truth Doesn't Make a Noise" by The White Stripes.

* * *

**CHAPTER EIGHTEEN**

_My baby's got a heart of stone,  
__Can't you people just leave her alone_

Lucy Jane wasn't sure what she should have expected. She and Curly were both stubborn, they both liked to stand their ground in a fight, and they both liked to think they were always right, even when they knew they were wrong. But this was different. Curly had told her to get lost and left her alone at the lake. And she hadn't seen him since.

Not seeing him once in the six days wasn't what she had expected.

It had taken two days of not seeing him at the lake, at some party, or at school for her to admit how much she missed him. It had been three days for her anger to set in where she decided that if he was going to act as though she didn't exist, then she would do the same. It had taken five days for her to admit to herself just how much she missed him, and wonder if their relationship truly was over.

On the sixth day, she realised just what an idiot she was being.

As subtly as she could, she watched him pull his car into the school parking lot as, feeling relief at finally knowing exactly when his suspension was over. He might not be willing to see her any other time, but gazing at him as he climbed out of his car made her feel a million times better. She had missed him so much, and he did look awfully good.

Leaning back against her car, she held her books to her chest and pretended to listen to Heather and Joanna's gossip. Curly didn't even glace her way, not for a second. And goodness it hurt. She understood his anger, but it still hurt. It hurt even more when Beth Travis immediately ran to him, practically herself at him in her need to be near him. Lucy Jane's eyes narrowed as Curly stopped to talk to the blonde; it didn't look as though he was flirting back, but he wasn't telling her to get lost either.

"Lucy?"

She looked at Emmy, who was looking at her expectantly. They had been best friends since they were kids, and Lucy Jane felt as though she had spent more time in Emmy's company than her own parents. They had always done everything together and always stood by each other. Would that change if Emmy were to find out about Curly?

"I asked if you were all right," Emmy continued.

"I'm fine," she lied.

Emmy gave her a disgusted look, and Lucy Jane knew her friend knew she was lying … _again_. She felt terrible, and she couldn't help but wonder if that was how Emmy would look at her if she knew about Curly.

"Sure, Lucy Jane, if you say so."

"You know I'm lying." It wasn't a question.

"Of course I do," Emmy scoffed. "You've been lying to me for weeks. I don't know what about, but I know it's not right."

Lucy Jane didn't know what did it - her friend's anger, Curly's complete disregard of her existence, or maybe it was just one of those revelations that she should have had weeks ago - but she was finally beginning to realise what Curly had been saying in the library last week. If any of her friends were true enough to stand by her, it was Emmy.

She took another look at Curly. Her stomach felt tight at how badly she wanted to go to him, and how close Beth was standing to him. She hoped to God she was right about Emmy.

"You're right," she admitted. "I have been lying to you."

Emmy said nothing.

"You won't like it, Emmy. In fact, you might very well hate me for it, but I have to tell you anyway."

Her friend scoffed. "I can tell you now, Lucy, that I'll be more upset with you if you continue lying to me."

Lucy Jane was silent a moment, not missing the way Joanna and Heather stopped talking and leaned closer. She chewed her lower lip in contemplation for a moment, ignoring everyone but Emmy.

"You have to promise you'll at least hear me out before making up your mind on the situation," she finally said.

"Of course."

For a quick second, she wondered how to say it. Start at the very beginning? Begin with vague references to who she was talking about? Just come right out and say it? It didn't matter - she was talking before she could think properly.

"I've been dating Curly Shepard."

As much as she only wanted to care about Emmy's reaction, she had to force herself not to look at Joanna and Heather. Joanna was Roger's sister, the richest girl in school, and would be the one to initiate any kind of shunning where Lucy Jane was concerned. But she kept her gaze on Emmy, hoping beyond hope that her best friend didn't walk away without another word.

To her credit, Emmy stayed calm and cocked an eyebrow. "Well now, that's interesting."

Lucy Jane continued, not sure she was doing the right thing, but unable to stop. "We've been together for months. Secretly dating."

Silence followed, and she stared at Emmy, waiting for her to say something. It was finally Joanna who spoke up.

"You've been doing what?"

An apology for cheating on her brother was on the tip of her tongue, but Emmy got in before she could.

"Didn't you hear? She said she's been secretly dating Curly Shepard."

"I don't quite understand -" Heather began.

Joanna snorted. "I understand completely. Lucy Jane has been cheating on my brother, lying to us all, and slumming it with some dirty greaser."

"Don't call him that," she snapped at Joanna.

She was surprised at herself; coming clean was one thing, and she knew it was going to kill her reputation, but snapping at Joanna like that was just going to make things worse. She couldn't help it, though.

Ignoring Joanna, Lucy Jane looked at Emmy beseechingly. Her best friend had been silent for a while.

"Do you love him?" Emmy finally asked.

Swallowing, Lucy Jane looked at Joanna and Heather. Heather almost looked like she felt bad for her, but Joanna was glaring at her. She looked back at Emmy.

"I do," she said.

"If this is true, then I think you'd be best spending your time with him rather than us," Joanna said.

Lucy Jane didn't bother putting up a fight, not when it was one she knew she could never win. Biting her lip, she stole one last glance at Emmy, who was looking somewhat confused, and left.

She felt like everyone was staring at her as she made her way to Curly. In fact, everyone probably was staring at her; it wasn't often she or anyone of her friends made their way toward someone like Curly Shepard. A part of her even wanted to head the other way - to go inside and deal with this like she would deal with everything else - but she couldn't. She couldn't do this alone.

Forcing back tears, she stood in front of Curly. He was standing with his friends - including Ponyboy Curtis and Beth Travis - leaning against some car. He said nothing, only watched her with indifference.

"I told them," she said.

Beth opened her mouth to say something, but stopped when Curly stood up straight.

"Told who what?"

She wanted to melt at the sound of his voice - cool though it was.

"I told my friends … though, I don't think I can call them friends anymore."

Curly frowned for a second. "Told them what, Lucy Jane?"

She searched his eyes, feeling sick at the thought that he really might think of them as over. After what she had just done, she wasn't sure she could continue without some kind of encouragement.

His gaze was hard, but he stared at her so intently - almost begging her to continue.

"I told them we're together and that I'm in love with you."

Beth stepped forward then. "What the fuck is she talking about, Curly?"

He smirked at Lucy Jane. "You did, huh?"

She couldn't help but sigh in relief at the change in his voice. "Yeah."

"Christ." Stepping toward her, he snaked an arm around her neck, and the leather on her skin was more of a comfort than she could have imagined. "It's about fucking time."

And then he kissed her.

XXXXX

Lucy Jane looked sad. Curly didn't understand it, but he didn't like it, either. In fact, he hated it. He hated the way she was fiddling with the hem of her skirt, hated the way she would sigh quietly every few minutes, and hated the way she had smiled at him as though she wanted to burst into tears.

All he could be thankful for was that for once it hadn't been him who'd made her cry.

It was raining as they reached the lake, and he couldn't be happier. Switching off the ignition but keeping the heater on, he climbed out and went to her door. She took the hand that he offered, and climbed through the backdoor he opened for them. It wasn't as if he had brought her there to fool around, but he sure wanted to be near her and that was easier in the backseat.

Snuggling into the far corner, she pulled her coat tighter, and looked at him. He didn't know what to say. He hadn't said a word to her since they were in the parking lot, but she was looking at him so expectantly that he almost fidgeted. Almost.

Finally, she cleared her throat, and opened her mouth to say something. Curly watched and waited, unexpectedly feeling as though she were going to be pissed at him. He had forced her into telling her friends about the two of them after all.

He quickly decided that was bullshit. He deserved to not be a secret anymore. He had done the right thing and was only feeling bad because she was looking so sad.

"Does this mean you're going to stop avoiding me?" she finally asked.

He looked into her teary eyes and felt a million times worse than he had been. "Yeah."

She nodded. "Good, I've missed you."

Curly smirked; what else was there to do when his girl told him she missed him? He slid his hand across the seat, seeking hers out. He felt warm all over when her gloved fingers slid into his bare ones.

"Did you miss me?" she asked.

It was questions like that that made him love her. He didn't give two shits how pathetic it was to be completely hooked on this girl; she made him stir crazy and that's all there was to it. But she made sharing his feeling with her easy. She made it so he didn't have to spill his guts about how he felt. She made it a simple yes or no.

He squeezed her fingers. "Yeah."

She scooted forward, not quite sitting with him, but close. "I hope you don't get sick of me now - you're all I've got left after all."

Her words made him feel bad - really fucking bad - even though he knew that wasn't why she was saying them. Grasping her hand, he tugged her closer, and caught her lips in a kiss that he hoped told her just how much her words in the parking lot had meant to him.

"I'll never get sick of you," he whispered.

"You promise?"

He ran his hand over her soft hair. "I told you, baby, you want forever then you got it."

She smiled at him then, and she no longer looked as though she wanted to cry. Sitting up, she slipped off her coat, and scooted closer, resting her head on his shoulder. They were silent for a while, and Curly was sure she was thinking about school tomorrow just as much as he was.

He probably shouldn't have kissed her in front of everyone, he knew that. But he hadn't been able to help himself; he'd missed her like hell. Everything had still been there - the cry of outrage from Beth, the heat from her friends' gazes, and Ponyboy's chuckles - but Curly had been kissing her, and that was all that had mattered.

It hadn't taken much more than an offer to get her to skip school with him.

"I'm sorry for not telling sooner," Lucy Jane finally said, voice quiet.

Curly frowned. "I ain't sorry for making you tell, but I'm gonna feel real shit about things when your friends stop talkin' to you."

She sat up, slipping one leg over both of his so she could straddle him. "Don't," she said. "Don't ever feel bad about it. I should have told them a long time ago."

He said nothing because there was nothing to say. He still felt bad, but she was right; people should have found out about them a long time ago. So many things could have been different now had they not kept themselves a secret for so long.

"I'll tell my parents tonight," she continued. "That's if my friends haven't already made a point of telling them for me just to get me in trouble."

Curly frowned. "Don't tell them."

"What?"

He sighed and lowered his head to her shoulder, placing light kisses on her neck. He didn't want her parents to know.

"Curly." She sighed his name, tangling her fingers in his hair.

"Don't tell them," he muttered. "They won't let you outta their sight if they find out you're datin' a hood."

He decided that was probably the least sappy way of saying 'I can't go another six days without seeing you. Don't let your family keep us apart.'

"They're going to find out anyway," she whispered, sounding panicked. "They're going to find out and they're going to try and stop me from seeing you."

Curly looked at her, taking in her wide eyes, strangely pale cheeks, and deep frown. If they hadn't talked about this plenty in the past, he'd wonder if she only just realised what she had said.

He nodded. "They will."

"I won't let them," she said vehemently. "I don't care what they threaten me with; we've been sneaking around too long to let them come between us."

Curly couldn't agree more, though he wasn't sure what Lucy Jane thought her parents were going to threaten her with.

"You're gonna tell them?" he asked, and she nodded.

He felt oddly disappointed. It had been his plan to get her to tell everyone about them - it had been what he had been desperate for her to do for so long now. Her friends knew - and they were going to cause enough problems on their own - but Curly knew he and Lucy Jane could handle them. Her parents he wasn't so sure about.

"I won't let them come between us, Curly," she whispered, lips against his mouth. "I won't let them."

She kissed him then, hard and forceful which wasn't at all what he was used to getting from her. He kissed her back just as eagerly, though, moving his hands from her hips, up beneath her sweater, feeling the heat coming from her skin and wanting to feel it against his own.

He had her writhing beneath him in minutes; whispering in her ear, dropping sporadic kisses over her neck, throat, and chest, and tickling her sides with soft grazes of his fingers. She swallowed audibly as he whispered a particularly dirty comment against her shoulder, and reached her soft hand inside his jeans.

"Shit, Luce," he groaned. "I fucking love you."

He'd never said it before without encouragement from her - without her doing it first - but it came out just as naturally as the curses that come before it. She whimpered his name in response, kissed him everywhere she could reach, and told him again that she wasn't going to let anything or anyone come between them.

XXXXX

Her parents knew. Lucy Jane could tell that as soon as she walked into the house.

It was dark by the time she had gotten back home. She and Curly had spent the day in his car at the lake, and it had been perfect. There had been no time limit of two or three hours. There had been no worry of someone finding out they were there together. There had been nothing to stop them from being together.

Curly had dropped her off at school nearly an hour ago to pick up her car, promising to be back to get her later. That was all well and good, but now Lucy Jane had to face her parents - something she had avoided by sitting down the street in her car for a good forty minutes.

Sighing, she made her way into the kitchen, not at all surprised to see both her parents sitting at the table and waiting for her. Their voices had travelled down the hall when she had walked into the house, only stopping when she slammed the door closed behind her. Now, as she looked at her parents, there was no doubt in her mind what was coming.

It wasn't often her dad was around for any kind of reprimand.

"Lucy Jane," he said. "You're very late."

She nodded. "I'm sorry."

"The school called today," her mother said. "Seemed that you were there first thing this morning, but you disappeared almost right away."

"Yeah."

"_Yes_," Constance snapped, at her use of slang.

Placing a hand on her mother's arm, her dad gestured to the seat in front of them. "Come and sit down."

She didn't want to. She wanted to get in her car and go to Curly, but she couldn't. Not only did she have to get this over with, but Curly had reminded her as he dropped her off, that he now had to go and face Tim.

Sitting in the seat, she placed her books on her lap, squeezing tightly.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us Lucy Jane?"

She looked at her dad. Arthur Cooper was a good man. He stood up for people in court, he provided for his family, and he helped her with her studies whenever she needed it. He quite often got her mother off of her back, he very willingly raised her curfew when her mother lowered it, and he liked to proudly tell all of the business men he introduced her to that she was going to follow in his footsteps and become a lawyer one day.

She knew her father was a good man, but she wasn't sure he was fair. Some of the people he stood up for were bad people. Not bad like Curly who got into fights and did plenty of other things she was glad she didn't know about, but truly bad people who did truly bad things. He wasn't home often, he hardly knew Harry, and she wasn't sure he loved his children like he was supposed to.

Lucy Jane looked down at her books, seeing the note Curly had scrawled her and left in her locker on her birthday sticking out. It was a simple note; but she could practically see the hesitation in his words - a quickly scribbled_ miss you_. She had taken to carrying the note with her the last few days.

It was enough to give her the courage she needed.

"I have a boyfriend," she said, looking her father in the eye.

He didn't look surprised, and she wondered which of her friends had blabbed. Or maybe a teacher had seen her kissing Curly in the parking lot and told on her when they called. Arthur said nothing, and she continued.

"He lives on the other side of town. He's poor, he gets into fights, and he's got a record with the police, but I don't care -"

"You don't care?" Constance interrupted again, looking appalled.

"No. I don't care." Lucy Jane looked imploringly at her father, knowing it was useless; her mother might have been the one who did the reprimanding, but it was her father who was in charge - it was her father who would make the decisions here. "I love him," she said.

"I'm sorry, Lucy Jane, but I can't continue to let this go on," he said.

She stood. "I'm eighteen; you don't have a choice."

"You're eighteen," he agreed, "and I do hate to sound trite, but while you're living under my roof, you will obey my rules."

Scoffing, Lucy Jane _almost_ rolled her eyes. She might have been filled with the kind of courage she hadn't experience toward her parents ever before, but she wasn't stupid.

"Obey by your rules? You might not wish to sound trite, but that's the most cliché thing I've ever heard."

Her dad stood then, towering over her even from the other side of the table, and showing emotion about something she was doing for the first time she could remember. "I don't care how it sounds. I'm not letting you see that boy again!"

"You can't stop me!"

"The hell I can't! I mean it, Lucy Jane - while you're living in this house, I will not let you see that boy. I will place a lock on your bedroom door if I have to."

"That won't stop me," she said quietly. Nothing would stop her.

Her father sighed. "What are you going to do? Climb out your window? Continue skipping school? You've had your fun, Lucy Jane, it's time to grow up."

"I'm not going to stop seeing him. I love him."

"You might think you love him, but you still live in my house, you still wear clothes I paid for, and you still drive the car I bought you."

She shrugged. "I don't care. I don't want any of that, I only want him."

Arthur looked confused for a moment, before raising an eyebrow. "You're willing to give all of that up for this boy, Lucy Jane? What are you going to do? Move out and go live in whatever shack he and his family live in?"

"Yes."

She was bluffing, of course. In reality, she had no idea what would happen if her parents really went as far as to kick her out. What would she do then? She really would be alone.

"And what about your brother? You think I'm going to let you see him if you leave this house to be with that boy?"

Her vision blurred. "You - you can't do that."

"It's my job to protect my children, Lucy Jane. If I can't keep this criminal away from you then I have to keep any influence he might have away from Harry."

Hatred for her mother had been a common occurrence for a long time, but this was the first time she had ever felt anything remotely close for her father. She pushed back tears, but let the vicious words out.

"It's no wonder Josie couldn't stand to stay her another second."

Silence followed, and Lucy Jane stared at her father. He stared back, obviously not willing to back down, and she didn't know what to do. He was dead serious with all of his threats, and at that moment she didn't care, but she didn't know what to do if she left.

"That's enough." Her mother stood up then, and Lucy Jane realised how quiet she had been. "We will let you see this boy, but you will continue to live here as though nothing has changed."

Were it not for the cold look in her eyes, the shaking of her hands, and the simple fact that Lucy Jane knew her mother was saying this for her own benefit - she might have felt a surge of affection for the woman. But she didn't, because she knew that her mother was more concerned about what people would think if another of her daughter's took off to be with a boy. It had nothing to do with Lucy Jane and her feelings.

"Constance -" Arthur began.

"I refuse to have this family dragged through the mud anymore than Lucy Jane has already allowed. There is nothing we can do about this boy, so for the time being, we will let it be."

Lucy Jane's heart was pounding, and she felt a little sick. The argument with her father had been worse than she had expected, but the end result was coming out in her favour. That surprised her more than her actions that day.

She didn't stick around to hear the argument that followed.

XXXXX

"What the fuck are you thinking?"

Curly raised an eyebrow at his little sister, amused at how much she sounded like Tim.

"Ain't none of your business, Angel."

"Bullshit," she said. "You've been datin' some bitch - some _Soc_ - for months now, and you never told me? That's just - it's bullshit."

He ignored her, not sure she was as angry as she was making out. Since she and Bobby had sorted their shit out a few months back, Angel seemed almost nice at times. Watching her and Bobby - her _husband_ - together sure was a trip, though. Now that they liked to think their marriage was more than just her brothers pushing her down the aisle, they sometimes treated each other so nicely that it made Curly sick.

He briefly wondered if he was like that with Lucy Jane.

"Just leave it, Angel. It ain't a big deal."

Angela smirked. "It will be when Tim gets home."

He said nothing, but he knew she was right. There was no way Tim hadn't heard by now; one of the guys would have told him without a second thought. He swallowed, wondering just how bad this was going to be, but then Angela was yelling at him again.

"She ain't worth the hassle, Curly," she said. "And even though I bet she tells you otherwise, you can do so much better."

Curly smirked and let her continue, not at all bothered by what she was saying.

"And she's such a slut anyway. The only reason she's datin' you is 'cause she's already made it through all the guys who are in her league."

Well, that bothered him.

"Shut it, Angel. You don't know shit, and if you keep talkin' like this, I'll let slip to Bobby about that time I caught you on your knees in front of Jack."

Angela paled. It was a low blow, and he knew it. The incident that had caused Curly to beat his own buddy's head in had been months ago, just after Angela and Bobby's "wedding" when they still couldn't stand each other.

"Some brother you are," she hissed, as the front door was opened.

"Then shut the hell up," he said. "It ain't any of your business."

"He's right, Angel," Tim said. "It ain't your business; get the hell outta here, I gotta talk to Curly."

Angela smirked at him. "Good luck."

His stomach dropped. "Fuck off."

She flipped him off before throwing Tim a large smile and leaving through the back door. Part of Curly expected he'd find her sitting outside, listening, should he head out there anytime soon. Unfortunately, he had to deal with Tim first.

He looked at his bother, unsure of where this was going to go. Tim could beat the shit out of him for being so stupid, take him out of the rest of the jobs coming up, or just fuck with his mind. None of which would surprise Curly. In fact, he half-expected all three.

"What the fuck is this, Curly? You're datin' this broad?"

Curly nodded. "Yeah."

Tim huffed, and shook his head. "She got somethin' to do with your suspension? She why you picked a fight with that kid?"

"He was talkin' shit about her, I couldn't just …" he trailed off, knowing it was pointless.

Tim stared at him for a long time, and all Curly could do was stand there and take it. He wanted to leave, to tell Tim to stick it, but he couldn't. A pathetic part of him was even hoping Tim would simply tell him not to fuck it up and leave it at that.

There was no exasperation in Tim's gaze this time, but when he finally shook his head and turned away, Curly saw something pretty damn close to disappointment.

"Just when I thought you were startin' to grow up and show some fucking responsibility, you go and pull some stupid shit like this. I expected this shit from you when you were fifteen, Curly, but not now."

Tim's parting words stuck with him, and he stood where he was, not sure what to do and feeling like an idiot.

He lay alone in bed later that night. Everyone knew about him and Lucy Jane now - her friends, his friends, both their families - but he knew a stupid idea when he thought of one. He had known that Lucy Jane herself had been a stupid idea after all. Of course, he had still gone there.

But he hadn't brought her home with him, despite her quiet pleas for him to do so. He had wanted to - he wanted nothing more than to have his girl with him - but bringing her home with a chance of running into Tim still wasn't a good idea. It was a fucking stupid idea and he wouldn't do that to her.

And maybe, just maybe, his mood also had something to do with not wanting her there. He knew she would make things better - she always did. They could be fighting, he could be pissed at Angela or the guys, or he could have just been in a fight but she always managed to make him feel better with a simple touch. And she would have been able to do the same then. Hell, she had done the same when he had picked her up a few hours ago.

But the look Tim had given him was still burned into his brain. He wanted to forget - to not care - but it wouldn't happen. It seemed to Curly that no matter how hard he tried, no matter how often he was told he'd done a shit job, and no matter how good being with Lucy Jane made him feel, Tim's respect was what he was still pathetically waiting for.

_Her stare is louder than your voice,  
__Because the truth doesn't make a noise_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. I hope you all enjoy this freakishly long chapter, lol. It hits the 5,000 word mark.


	19. Rust upon Your Gears

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Re-Education (Through Labor)" by Rise Against.

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**CHAPTER NINETEEN**

_We crawl on our knees for you,  
__Under a sky no longer blue_

It hadn't taken long for Lucy Jane to decide that being in an open relationship with Curly was even harder than being in a secret one. People stared, people she used to be friends with made rude comments, and people she had never spoken to before made outright nasty comments.

A few of the girls she often socialized with liked to ask her what it was like, dating a hood - a well known criminal. They asked if it were more exciting, more romantic, and if they should think about doing the same. One of them had even asked Lucy Jane if she would set her up with Two-Bit Mathews who, not only did she not personally know, but was at least three years older than the girl doing the asking.

The boys she used to socialize with - the ones who happened to be good friends with Roger - had taken to quietly calling her names every time they saw her. She had been called a slut, a tramp, and something she had refused to repeat to Curly no matter how long they had fought about it. The last thing she wanted was him getting suspended again, and not just because it would leave her completely alone.

The people she had never socialized with before - both boys and girls and including Curly's own sister - also seemed to enjoy the name calling. She had been accused if slumming it more than once, and she'd overheard Angela Shepard make some comment about being with Curly because she had already made it through all the boys on her own side of town.

According to Curly, that wasn't the first time his sister had made that charming joke.

Sitting at a booth at some new burger joint with Curly, she sighed and thanked whoever was responsible that Ponyboy Curtis was so kind. She had Curly, just like he had promised her she would. He had picked her up for school the day after their little display in the parking lot, and ignoring everyone who stared, thrown an arm around her neck, and walked her to class. He had been doing the same thing everyday since.

Other than her boyfriend, the only ally she had was Ponyboy. He stood up for her, told people to get lost when they hassled her, and generally looked out for her if he was around and Curly wasn't. She had tried to thank him once, but he had shrugged it off, saying he knew what it was liked to be talked about.

She hadn't realised he and Curly had been such good friends, because she was sure that was why he was doing it.

"Okay, baby?" Curly asked, his fingers tangled with hers over the table top.

She looked at him and smiled. Of course, not everything about being in an open relationship was bad.

They didn't have to sneak around anymore, she wasn't lying to anyone, and neither of them had to hide anything anymore. It didn't seem like much, but when she threw in the fact that she now got to see Curly almost whenever she wanted to, it sure made up for it. It made up for all of it.

She could deal with glares and the silent treatment from her parents and the lack of friends she now had; and she could deal with the names, accusations, and stupid comments directed her way. She could deal with it all because being with Curly made everything seem much less terrible than it really was.

One thing she had trouble dealing with was Emmy. The same Emmy she hadn't heard a word from since last week. The same Emmy who kept throwing her intrigued glances in the halls. The same Emmy who was now standing at her table, throwing nervous glances between her and Curly.

"How's it goin'?" Curly asked, calmly.

Emmy gave him a timid smile. "Fine, thanks."

Lucy Jane wanted to ignore her. Emmy had said nothing - done nothing - when Lucy Jane had basically been rejected from the group. She had stood there, frowning at what was going on, but not standing up for her best friend in anyway. Lucy Jane liked to think that she would have been there for Emmy had the situation been reversed, but she wasn't sure she would have.

That's why she couldn't ignore her best friend.

"Can I sit?" Emmy asked.

Throwing a glance at Curly, she nodded. Curly stood as Emmy pulled up a chair and sat, but Lucy Jane stopped him.

"You don't have to leave," she said. He had proven time and time again that he cared the most; she wasn't going to make him leave for one of her friends - if Emmy was even her friend anymore

He gave her a quick smile. "George should be here soon, I'll be waitin' for him outside when you're done.

Left alone with Emmy, she did her best not to fidget. She wanted to apologise, but wasn't sure how well it would be accepted. Then she realised there wasn't much that could make things any worse, and opened her mouth.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she said.

Emmy sighed. "Oh, Luce, it's okay."

"It's really not." Lucy Jane shook her head.

"Well, no. But I didn't exactly stand up for you the other day and that's even worse."

She wasn't sure about that; she could understand Emmy's reaction the other day, even if it had hurt. But the fact was that Lucy Jane had been lying to her best friend for months.

"Maybe we were both in the wrong," Emmy said quietly.

"You understand why I didn't tell you, don't you?" Lucy Jane asked, almost desperately. "You understand why I had to keep this from you?"

Emmy nodded. "I do, actually. I don't like that you did it, but I do understand. My own reaction showed me well enough that it wasn't something you could just go telling people."

"So, are you mad at me?"

"No. I'm still not happy that you lied to me, but I'm not mad anymore. I've missed you and I've hated the last few days."

Lucy Jane let out a relieved smile. "Me too."

"Everyone else is mad at you, though," Emmy said. "You should hear some of the things being said about you."

She said nothing. She didn't need Emmy to tell her the things being said about her - she was hearing it constantly. In a way, she knew she deserved it from some people - Roger in particular - but other people knew nothing about her and were calling her all kinds of names.

"I don't care about any of them, Lucy Jane," Emmy said. "I just want you to be happy and for us to be friends again."

Lucy Jane nodded. "I am happy." That wasn't entirely true.

"Curly makes you happy?"

She smiled. "Yes, he does." That was completely true.

Glad to no longer be arguing, they began to catch up on everything except Lucy Jane's relationship with Curly. Emmy wanted to know everything, and Lucy Jane was more than willing to tell her, but not then. Once they were alone, she'd tell Emmy everything she wanted to know.

"Oh no," Emmy said, smile falling as she watched something over Lucy Jane's shoulder.

"What is it?" Lucy Jane turned.

Curly was standing next to his car, casually smoking, and resting his elbow on the roof. He looked as calm as ever, even as Roger, Jason Black, and some of Roger's other friends all crowded around him. Lucy Jane wasn't stupid; she knew what they was going to happen. She jumped to her feet, not sure what to do, but unable to just sit there and let it happen. Curly, despite being surrounded by a group of guys who wanted to hurt him, merely smirked and flipped up the collar of his jacket.

"Come on!" she said to Emmy, and ran for the door.

As much as she hated seeing him hurt even a little, she knew Curly was a good fighter - she had seen what he had done to Roger when it had been one on one - but this wasn't a fair fight. This was Roger and three friends ganging up on Curly.

"Stop it!" she screamed, the moment she was out the door.

But it was useless. She couldn't even see Curly now. Roger and his friends - boys who had once been her friends - had Curly on the ground. Two of them were holding him down while Roger and Jason punched him. The sound of them hitting his flesh made her want to throw up. Eyes watering, she sucked in a mouthful of air.

There wasn't a thing she could do, she knew that, but she refused to simply stand there and cry. She ran toward them, not getting closer than six feet before someone grabbed her from behind. Whoever it was held her to him and dragged her away from Curly.

"Let me go!" she cried.

Looking behind her, she saw it was Emmy's boyfriend, Simon, who was holding her. She struggled against him, but he wouldn't budge, his strong arms holding her around the waist. He yanked her away, lifting her off the ground as she tried to get away.

"Leave it alone, Lucy Jane," he said. "He's only getting what he deserves."

Tears formed again, and but she refused to cry in front of Simon. Emmy was tugging at his arms, trying to get him to let Lucy Jane go, but he ignored her. Still struggling, Lucy Jane watched the boys surrounding Curly. They weren't even holding him down anymore, and she hoped to God it wasn't because he was unconscious. It didn't matter to them; they were still were kicking, punching, and saying all kinds of horrible things to him.

Finally, another car pulled up and a bunch of guys in leather jackets climbed out. A few of them flipped open their switch blades as they headed toward Curly, and Simon quickly let her go. He took off, rushing away with his friends, and leaving Emmy and Lucy Jane alone. She ran to Curly immediately.

"Oh, God," she muttered, dropping to her knees beside him.

He was attempting to sit up, only managing to lift himself onto his elbow as he spat out blood. Glory, there was a lot of blood; his entire face was covered with it, it was pouring out of his nose, and every few moments he would have to spit more out. It made her sick, and she hated the people who had done this to him.

Reaching for his hand, she fumbled helplessly, not knowing what to do; she'd never been in this kind of situation before, and she began to cry.

Looking up at her, he grinned. "Hey, baby."

"Oh, hell," she sobbed.

He chuckled and it sounded terrible. "That's gotta be the strongest curse I've ever heard from you."

Someone was pulling her gently away. "Give him some room, Lucy."

Glancing to her left, she saw Curly's friend George. She did as he said and shuffled back, but didn't let go of Curly's hand.

She went home with him that night, not caring what his brother would think when he found out, what her parents would think when they realised she wasn't coming home, or what everyone at school would think when they found out. All she cared about was Curly.

"You're a mess," she whispered, wiping blood from his neck as he lay on the couch.

"I'm fine."

She would have smiled at how sure of himself he sounded were it not for the obvious pain he was in.

"I'm sorry they did that," she said. "If I had never dated Roger, then they never -"

"Don't," he said, groping for her hand. "Don't apologise for anything. I'm willin' to bet those guys or their friends would've done the same whether you'd dated him or not."

Feeling more tears threaten, she squeezed his hand. "I hate that you're hurting."

He gave her half a smile. "I hate that you're cryin'."

Tugging on her hand, he pulled her closer and she kissed him softly.

XXXXX

Curly sat at the table at the downtown warehouse, playing poker with George and Jack, while waiting for Tim and Danny to arrive. He was losing, but his mind wasn't exactly on the game anyway.

Most of his buddies had been okay when it came to Lucy Jane. They'd made a few jokes, tried to get him in on some bull sessions, and made a big deal about him dating a nice girl, but they hadn't caused him any problems. In fact, they'd helped him out a whole heap just the other night when McKenna and his shitty friends had jumped him.

As fucked off as he was - and as sore as he still was - he could understand why McKenna had pulled the shit he had. There was no chance of him getting in trouble for it - he had all the money and status he needed to get off of it. Not only that, but Curly would have done the same had the situations been reversed. He'd be ready to kill anyone who took Lucy Jane away from him.

Problem with his own friends was he was pretty sure they weren't being so decent when it came to Lucy Jane.

He didn't know the details, but apparently Angel had been causing some shit, along with Beth and her friends, and a couple of his own buddies. He didn't know which guys - Lucy Jane wouldn't tell him shit - but it was pissing him off. He had expected this kind of crap from her friends, but not so much his own.

"You in, man?" George asked.

Curly shook his head, and threw his cards down. "Na, I'm out."

He watched silently as Jack and George finished up, not looking forward to Tim arriving. He'd hardly seen his brother in the last few days, but was dead sure Tim would still be pissed at him about Lucy Jane. The disappointed look Tim had given him, sure didn't make him feel good about being jumped.

Running a hand through his hair, he supposed he could just be glad McKenna's parents had never decided to take any further action against him for their first fight. It had been his doing, he could admit that, but the guy had deserved it. He knew that wasn't why they hadn't bothered pressing any charges. In fact, he figured it had been probably McKenna's decision to leave things be, just so he could get his revenge.

The deck of cards was pushed his way, and he began shuffling them, mind still on Lucy Jane and the shit she was receiving because of him - because he had made her tell. The amount of time he got to be with her now might have been perfect, and she said it made up for all the shit she was going through, but glory he felt bad. She might have told him herself not to feel bad about anything, but he did. He felt real bad.

"Thinkin' about your girl, man?" George asked with a grin.

Curly shrugged and said nothing.

"Hey, if it ever comes up in conversation, find out if Emmy ever plans on dumping that dick she's been datin'," George continued.

"You're kidding?" Curly raised an eyebrow. "You want Emmy?"

George smirked. "You seen that girl? Ain't nothing bad about her."

"Emmy's pretty cute," Jack agreed. "Don't know why you didn't go for her instead of Lucy Jane; remember what a bitch she was to you?"

Curly's eyes narrowed. "Shut it."

Jack shrugged. "Just sayin', is all. She sure was a cold bitch then. I sure hope you've managed to warm her up; last thing you need is to be datin' a frigid bitch like -"

Curly had his so-called buddy out of his chair, and back pressed against the table within seconds.

"I said shut it," he growled.

Jack glared at him. "It's a fucking joke, man. You used to hate the bitch, too, remember?"

Curly slugged him across the cheek. "Fuck you, you fucking asshole. Say anything word about her and I swear I'll kick your goddamn head in."

"Let him go, Curly."

Jack was still glaring at him, and Curly glared back. He shoved Jack hard against the table once more before throwing him to the ground. Not bothering to calm himself, he turned to face Tim.

"Wanna explain what the hell that's all about?" Tim asked.

Curly shrugged. "He was talkin' shit - someone had to do somethin'."

"Talkin' shit about what?"

Curly said nothing. Tim muttered some curse words, and headed for a back room, indicating that Curly should follow. Curly wanted to ignore him, to tell him to get fucked, but he found his feet following in Tim's footsteps and he was in the back room seconds later.

Tim shut the door. "You still datin' this broad?" he asked, casually.

Curly stood with his hands shoved in his jeans pockets and not meeting Tim's gaze. Fuck it all. He should have known Tim wouldn't just let him be with Lucy Jane. He should have known he wouldn't get away with hitting Jack for talking about his girl when his girl was Lucy Jane Cooper. He should have fucking known.

"Yeah.

"You know this is a mistake, right?"

"What the hell's that s'pose to mean?" Curly asked, gaze shooting up to meet Tim's.

"It means exactly that," Tim said. "This can't end well - her dad's a fucking lawyer, he'll try everything he can to get you hauled back in."

He shook his head. "It ain't like that; her parents are leavin' us alone."

"You're still fucking a Soc, Curly. I don't care how long this Soc/greaser thing has been done for, she's still one of them and it ain't gonna end well."

"It's gonna end just fine," he muttered. "In fact, it ain't gonna end at all."

Tim scoffed. "What? You're gonna be with her forever? You're gonna marry this broad? You ain't that kinda guy and you know it; one girl at a time ain't your thing."

Forever was the idea, but he said nothing, and Tim continued.

"You really think this girl's gonna want to be with you for the long haul? She might be enjoying herself for now, but what happens in a couple of months, huh? What do you think's gonna happen when she goes off to college?" Tim asked. "Because I can guarantee you that even if she's shit at school, her parents will be sendin' her away - just to get her away from you."

Curly hadn't thought about it, but he could distinctly remember the day Lucy Jane had told him about her college plans - told him about how much she was looking forward to getting away from her parents, even if she would miss Harry like crazy. He doubted the fact that he was now in her life would change those plans.

But he still said nothing, because maybe it would change her plans. Maybe she would go to college in Tulsa. Maybe she would tell her parents to go fuck themselves and stay with him. Or, if it came to it, maybe he could go with her - wherever she was going.

Tim looked at him as though he were stupid. "She'll be headin' off to college somewhere and leavin' you behind. She ain't gonna stick around. She might be having a good time now, slumming it for a while, but it won't last."

"You don't know shit about her," Curly said.

"Jesus, Curly," Tim said in exasperation. "This isn't just about her. You've had the shit kicked outta ya once already, and you just threatened to beat up one of the gang - someone you've been buddies with for years. All because of this girl."

"You don't know shit about anything!" Curly said, fists clenched angrily. "Why can't you have a little faith in me for once, huh? All you ever do is tell me when I'm doin' a crap job."

Tim shook his head. "I wonder why, when you go and do things like date this rich fucking bitch."

He opened the door then, and left Curly alone.

"Fuck," he muttered, kicking at the coffee table.

Curly's feelings about Tim had been slowly changing since the last time he'd been sent to juvie, and Tim wasn't helping him any. If anything, he was just making it worse. For the first time ever, he truly wondered if it was possible to hate someone he looked up to so much. Tim was still his brother, but shit, Curly couldn't remember ever being this angry at him.

_I won't crawl on my knees for you,  
__I won't believe the lies that hide the truth_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. Listen to the song used for this chapter if you get the chance. It's always made me think of Curly and Lucy Jane, and lyrics from it have been used for both this chapter and the title of the story.

Reviews make me happy :)


	20. Coming Undone

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Coming Undone" by Korn.

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**CHAPTER TWENTY**

_Sweet bitter words, unlike nothing I have heard  
__Sing along, mockingbird, you don't affect me_

Lucy Jane was in the second floor bathroom during last period English when Beth Travis walked in. They both froze in place, knowing exactly who the other was. Well, Lucy Jane knew that Beth was one of the many greaser girls who had been calling her names for the last week, she knew that Beth was who she had seen Curly flirt with more times than she liked to remember, and she knew that there had been a certain fight on Valentine's Day because of this girl.

And she knew for a fact that Beth knew who she was; Beth knew she was Curly's girlfriend, Beth knew she was rich, and Beth knew she had no chance with Curly while Lucy Jane was in the picture.

But none of that mattered at that moment, because being with Curly didn't change the fact that Lucy Jane knew how to stay cool and composed when she needed to. Admittedly, she'd had some trouble with that over the last few months, but there was no way she was going to let Beth get the better of her.

Turning back to the mirror and continuing with her lip-gloss application, she pretended as though Beth was just another person. It was when Beth came to stand next to her, taking out her own make-up and leaning toward the mirror that Lucy Jane's heart began to thud.

"So," Beth began. "How long have you and Curly been together?"

She could have sneered at how bad Beth's attempt at indifference was. Instead, she pursed her lips, and put her lip-gloss away.

"Just a few months."

"Right, so you weren't with him over Christmas and New Years?"

There was a smirk on Beth's face that Lucy Jane desperately wanted to ignore, but it was making her far too uncomfortable.

"No," she said, calmly.

Beth sighed in relief, giving Lucy Jane a fake smile. "Good, I thought for a minute there that I might've had a part in Curly cheating on you."

Her heart sank, her stomach tightened, and she wondered if she was going to be sick. Quickly, she decided that even if she were going to be sick, it would be in another bathroom, in another hallway, and preferably on a whole other floor. She would not let Beth get the better of her. She was better than that.

She smiled, and it was all ice. "No, Curly and I weren't together over winter break." Picking up her books, she made her way to the door, deciding one biting remark as she left wasn't a bad thing, even if it was something Beth might already know about. "Though, I do believe I'm the reason he turned you down on Valentine's Day."

The glare Beth sent her, and the thrill she got at obviously being the one to give Beth that realisation was nothing compared to the hurt she was feeling. No, she and Curly hadn't been together over Christmas, but she could still remember sitting on the floor in her room thinking about him - wishing she was with him.

And all that time he had been with another girl? She had no right to be hurt or angry really, but she was. She felt sick and though a part of her hated the idea that something had happened, she had to know.

Forcing back the tears that were threatening, she headed toward out of the school. Curly had planned on skipping his last class of the day, and he was waiting for her at his car with George. She watched for a minute as the end of class bell rang, hating that she was about to start another fight. Sighing, she headed out into the light rain, and toward him.

"Hey, baby," he said, reaching for her as she came closer.

She glanced at George who gave her a grin.

"Do you reckon we could get out of here?" she asked Curly.

"I reckon this guy might be a bad influence on you, Lucy Jane - I'm sure you never would've considered skippin' class before," George said.

She gave him a quick smile, unsure if he was teasing her, or if he was trying to be nice.

Curly chuckled and open the passenger door for her. "Let's go."

He stopped to talk to George for a moment on his way to his side of the car, and Lucy Jane took a few breaths. She didn't want to make another scene. She didn't want to cry. She didn't want Beth Travis to be right.

"See ya tonight, man." George said, before taking off.

Curly waved, and climbed into the car. "Everything okay?"

She nodded. "Let's go to the lake."

Curly gave her a strange look, but began to drive anyway.

Half way there, when all she could think about was Curly and Beth being together, Curly reached his arm across the back of the seat. His hand slipped onto her neck, fingers massaging lightly, and she sighed. Curly's touch managed to make her forget everything else - it was probably why most of their fights ended up with the two of them having sex.

They arrived at the clearing by the lake, and she shrugged his hand away, remembering why they were there.

"What's goin' on?" he asked, not looking at her.

She was pretty sure he knew her well enough to know a fight was imminent the moment she'd asked to go to the lake. What she didn't understand was why he had touched her the way he had if he'd known what was coming.

"Were you with Beth Travis over Winter break?"

He frowned. "What?"

"She told me you were with her," Lucy Jane said. "She asked how long we had been together, and then she told me how glad she was that she hadn't been a part of you cheating on me over winter break."

Curly glared. "I never cheated on you; we weren't together then."

Tears formed at those words because without outright telling her it hadn't happened, they were as far away from denial as he could get.

"Were you with her?" she asked, voice shaking.

He sighed. "Luce, we weren't together then."

She felt hurt and frustrated at his words, and rubbed at her eyes. He wasn't denying anything and she didn't know what to think. They hadn't been together, and he hadn't cheated, but it made her sick. She could only imagine the kind of things they had done.

Curly's hands tugged at her own, and she looked at him. His eyes had softened and he sighed again. "I fooled around with Beth over New Years because I was going fuckin' crazy. I couldn't stop thinking about you, and used Beth as a distraction. And it didn't even work because I was still thinking about you. I'm always fuckin' thinking about you." He paused. "But I've never slept with Beth, Lucy, not once."

She bit her lip. "Promise?"

"I fuckin' swear it. You gotta stop letting everyone cause us so much shit, baby," he said, stroking her hair. "We used to fight 'cause of how hard sneakin' around was, and now that we've come clean we fight because everyone else is doin' their fucking best to come between us - callin' you names, accusing you of slumming it, fucking talking all kinds of shit."

He sighed, and Lucy Jane wondered if that was the longest speech she had ever heard him make.

"I'm sorry for makin' you tell. All it's done is cause shit," he said. "Coming clean was a good thing, but all these people are doing is ruining the only good thing either of us had."

He didn't need to explain, she knew exactly what he meant. No one wanted them to be together, and they were doing whatever they could to break them up. She couldn't hold back the tears then.

"I hate it," she cried. "I hate all of them for being so negative toward us. Why can't we just be together? Why can't we just be happy?"

"Hey, look at me." Curly held her face in his hands. "Fuck them, Lucy Jane. Fuck 'em all. We have each other, and that's all we need, right?"

She nodded, agreeing completely.

XXXXX

Curly turned his car off and looked at his silent house. He couldn't see Tim's car anywhere, but that didn't mean shit, really; his brother might be there, or he might not be. Either way, Curly was screwed and had no one to blame but himself. He'd fucked up, and he'd fucked up bad.

He had dropped Lucy Jane at home not twenty minutes ago, after spending the rest of the day and night with her at the lake.

But, according to Tim and the research he had done, Southern Hills Country Club was holding some kind of banquet that very night - the same banquet Lucy Jane's parents had attended, the same banquet McKenna's parents had attended, and the same banquet Tim and the gang were going to steal cars from.

Curly hadn't forgotten, he hadn't been hurt in a gutter somewhere, and he hadn't been forced not to go. He had simply chosen to stay with Lucy Jane instead. She hadn't known anything about what he was supposed to be doing, and he knew if he had told her he had business to do she wouldn't have stopped him, but he didn't say anything. After the day she'd had, he didn't want anything but to be with her.

Beth Travis had tried to screw them over by telling Lucy Jane shit about him. McKenna had tried to screw them over by jumping him. Tim had tried to screw them over by telling Curly how bad it would end for him - how Lucy Jane wasn't going to stick around and be with him. As far as Curly had been concerned, they could all get fucked.

That's what he told himself as he sat in his car, wondering whether or not it was even worth going inside. He had a feeling things would change once he saw Tim. Rubbing his nose a little, he climbed out of his car and headed inside. A part of him wished he could just go downtown and have it out with Tim there.

The downtown hangout for the gang wasn't anything special; an empty warehouse that never got used. The closest building was a good six blocks away. Far enough away for Tim and the gang to sort out their business without interruption, and far enough away for the cops to ignore them unless something huge happened.

The difference between being downtown rather than at his own house, was down there Curly could try and forget Tim was his brother, and think of him only as his gang leader. It would make standing up to him a while lot easier when they weren't in the home they'd grown up in.

Tim was a good leader, really. He was fair without being too hard, at the same time knowing exactly when he needed to come down hard. He knew who was good at what, who had access to what, and who was available for what. He was tough, cool, and smart. He knew what he was doing, he knew how to do it, and he knew how to make sure it got done and got done the way he wanted it done.

At least, that was what Curly had thought until recently.

Not only was Tim being an asshole about Lucy Jane, but his lack of trust in Curly was becoming more obvious every day. He didn't understand why his older brother couldn't have once trace of confidence in him. He could admit that everything with Lucy Jane was probably one huge mistake, but he had worked things out. No matter what happened, he and Lucy Jane would make it work.

Surely Tim could give him the benefit of the doubt.

Though, the closer he got to his own home, he realised he didn't really deserve any trust from Tim. He had fucked up, after all.

Opening the front door, he was relieved and frustrated to see all the lights off. He wasn't sure if he wanted to get whatever Tim threw at him over and done with, or if he wanted to take the time he had left to sort his shit out. Either option was ruined when his name was called from the kitchen. Cringing in spite of himself, Curly headed into the kitchen to faced Tim.

They both stood silent on either side of the table for a few minutes - Tim simply staring at him, almost as though he were trying to figure out what the fuck was going through his head, and Curly doing his best to keep Tim's gaze.

"Where ya been?" Tim finally asked, voice quiet.

Curly shrugged. "You probably already know."

"Yeah." Tim nodded. "George wasn't too keen on tellin me you'd taken off with your girl, but he had to spill once you made it obvious you weren't gonna turn up."

Curly said nothing. He wasn't angry at George for telling; the guy was his buddy - his best buddy - and Curly knew he would have held off telling Tim anything until he really needed to.

Tim sighed. "You gotta stop this shit, man."

"What shit?" Curly played dumb.

"What shit? We were already one man down tonight and you were a no show. Curly, you let us down - you messed up big time. The guys were fuckin' relying on you tonight to keep watch at one of the stations and you were never fucking there."

"What happened?" he asked, thinking the worse and wondering who else hadn't turned up.

"Lucky for you, nothin'," Tim said. "Everything went fine without you - maybe even better."

He let that slide. It was a hit to his pride and ego, but Tim was dead sure it was true and Curly knew he'd need all the fight he had for whatever was coming.

"It ain't just that," Tim said.

"Didn't think it would be."

"The guys don't trust you anymore, Curly."

"What?" Now that had to be bullshit.

Tim looked as though he was ready to laugh. "How can you be surprised at that? You jumped your own buddy - and not for the first time, either."

"He deserved it," Curly said. "He was -"

"Talkin' shit about your girl? Take a fucking guess why," Tim said. "Her dad's a lawyer; that might not mean shit to you, but for the rest of us, it means her dad doin' what he can to get his little girl away from a hood like you - even if it means goin' after the gang. I don't blame Jack for talkin' shit - you're fucking up."

"He deserved it the first time, too," Curly said. "He fucking had Angel on her knees in front of him."

Tim raised an eyebrow, and Curly could almost see him lock away that bit of information for later.

"That's your sister," Tim said. "Not just some girl you're dating who -"

"Who I date ain't any of your business."

"Bullshit." Tim towered over Curly. "When you keep this kind of shit from me, and mess up too much because of it, then it becomes my business. I can't trust you for a second if you can't fucking grow up."

"Grow up? I have grown up; you just never seem to notice it. Shit, Tim, even Danny realises it."

Tim scoffed. "You might be older, but you're still making the same stupid mistakes you always were. You're makin' worse mistakes than ever and I don't think that'll change anytime soon."

Fuck. Curly clenched his hand, wanting nothing more than to hit his brother but knowing he would come out worse off. He didn't need to be beaten in two fights in as many weeks, thanks.

"How am I supposed to grow up to whatever you want me to be when you don't trust me? When you've never fucking trusted me?" he yelled.

"How am I supposed to trust you when you're so fucking irresponsible? Christ, Curly, the gang or the girl - take your fuckin' pick, but stop messing around."

His heart thudded. He should have known it would come to this; there was no way Tim was going to let what happened that night go. Not just the fact that Curly had messed up by not being there to do the job, but the fact that he had messed up because he had been with Lucy Jane.

"You're makin' me choose?" His voice was a whole lot quieter than he liked.

Tim looked at him. "You've proven you can't handle both, the guys don't trust you while you're with this girl, and I don't see how I can ever trust you to take Danny's place if need be when you can't fucking sort your shit out."

Curly's eyes narrowed. "You ain't ever wanted me to take Danny's place before," he said. "Even the times he's been locked up."

"'Cause you were a kid," Tim said. "Still fuckin' are, but Danny's got some shit goin' on with his girl and can't be around so much right now."

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Tim shook his head. "Like I said, gang or the girl."

Curly said nothing as Tim left the kitchen, unsure there was anything he could say. The stuff about Danny was a new development, and he didn't know what to think. A part of him wondered if it was Tim doing whatever he could to get him to choose the gang, but a bigger part knew he was telling the truth about all of it. He had fucked up, and because of that, no one trusted him anymore. Especially not Tim.

He was pretty sure Tim hadn't ever had much faith in him to begin with, but now Curly knew for sure. There was no trust in him from his brother. There was anger, disappointment, and frustration, and he could only blame himself for all three of them. But were those enough for him to give up Tim and the gang. For Lucy Jane?

He wasn't so sure anymore. Either way he would lose out. Was Lucy Jane worth losing the gang over? Was Tim's respect worth losing Lucy Jane over? He had been so sure, so fucking adamant that nothing, including his own brother, would come between him and Lucy Jane. Only hours ago he'd promised her that it was them against the world. But at the same time, he had never really believed he'd be made to choose. Now that he was faced with an ultimatum, it changed things.

Tim not being happy about Lucy Jane had been expected, and Curly had been prepared to deal with it. He had never been prepared to deal with having to choose. And now that he was, he didn't know what to do. The choice should be easy, but it wasn't.

One was family; the other was the girl he _loved_. The family was being a real bastard right then, but the girl - however long she stuck around for - was what he had already deemed as the biggest mistake of his life even before they'd gotten together. A girl like Lucy Jane wasn't supposed to be with a guy like him - he had known that from the beginning - and Tim had been right; she'd be taking off for college soon. But he loved her, and his brother, his family, wasn't supposed to make him choose.

He didn't know what to do. He didn't know who to choose.

_Since I was young I've tasted sorrow on my tongue,  
__And this sweet sugar gun does not protect me_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.


	21. Stealing Happiness

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "Stealing Happiness" by Gin Wigmore.

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**CHAPTER TWENTY ONE**

_And I'll love you tomorrow, but leave the same day,  
__It's funny how love works in vain _

Curly was sitting on the hood of his car, right in front of her house when he said it. He had been acting strange all night and she hadn't been able to work out why. Every time she asked he would tell her nothing was wrong, and every time he told her nothing was wrong, she believed him until the next time he acted a little strange.

He had been distant from the moment he had picked her up, he had barely looked at her throughout the entire drive to the lake, and he had been silent the entire drive back. The long look he had given her when she had first climbed into his car had been dejected, the way he had touched her in the backseat had been more fervent than ever before, and the fact that he had climbed out of his car upon dropping her off was just plain strange.

The words he had just spoken explained everything.

"I'm sorry, what?" she asked, standing in front of him.

"I said I don't wanna do this anymore."

Lucy Jane ignored her pounding heart. "Do what, exactly?"

"This." He gestured between them, all the while digging out his cigarettes and lighting up. "You and me - it just ain't workin' for me anymore."

She was silent, not entirely sure she was understanding this right. She understood his words, but they were coming from so far out of nowhere that she just didn't understand. Finally, she looked him dead in the eye.

"You're breaking up with me?"

He nodded.

And that was exactly what she couldn't understand. Her chest felt tight, and she had to force the air into her lungs as she spoke the only words she was thinking.

"But … _why_?"

He looked back at her with no emotion whatsoever. "It just ain't what I want. I thought it was, I really did, but … this whole thing's just got so messy, Luce. It's too fucking hard."

She raised an eyebrow at him, but her chest felt like it was in a vice and she couldn't stop the tight breaths. "I didn't realise you were such a coward," she told him.

"I ain't a fucking coward," he snapped. "This serious relationship crap isn't me."

"You're deciding this now? After two months together? After making me tell everyone about us? After telling me you love me?"

He shrugged, blowing out a casual smoke ring. "One girl at a time just ain't me."

Her eyes narrowed. "That sounds an awful lot like something your brother would make you say."

Curly glared at her. "Leave Tim outta this. It might have been something he said, but all he did was make me realise what I already knew."

She was silent, unsure what to do - what to think. Surely he couldn't mean what he was saying; he loved her, she knew he did. He had gone against his friends, family, and what was expected of him just like she had. He loved her.

Letting out a huff - whether it was out of frustration, sorrow, or rejection, she didn't know - she held her head high.

"I don't believe you."

He barely glanced at her. "Don't believe what?"

"That you don't want this," she said. "You forced me to admit my feelings for you, now you have to do the same."

"Ain't got no feelings," he said with a smirk.

Her eyes widened and watered at the same time. "You don't mean that."

"You know what? A few days ago I might not have meant it, but I do now. Things change."

"What?" she cried. "What changed?"

Curly jumped down from his car and threw his smoke away. "Tim made me choose," he said. "He told me to choose between you and the gang and the choice was a whole lot easier than it should've been if my feelings for you were what I thought they were."

He turned away from her then, walking toward the driver's side of the car as if their conversation was over. It wasn't over. It couldn't be over.

"Don't do this," she said, following him.

"Already done, Lucy."

"Curly, please -"

He whirled on her. "Christ, Lucy. What do you want me to say? You want me to say I don't care about you? You want me to say I don't love you? You want me to say you can go fuck McKenna for all I care? Fine, consider it all said 'cause that's the way it is."

Those were the words that stopped her from begging more than she already was. It wasn't that he said he didn't care, or that he said he didn't love her. He was telling her she could sleep with Roger and he wouldn't care. She hadn't believed any of his words until then - positive this entire conversation was his brothers doing - but Curly telling her she could sleep with Roger was something else. After everything that had happened regarding Roger, those were the words to make her realise he might just mean what he was saying.

She wanted to throw up, she wanted to shove him, and she wanted to cry. She decided on the last one.

"You're such a bastard," she whispered, swiping angrily at tears that had fallen.

"Probably," he muttered, turning away.

She decided to shove him after all. "You had to do this _now_? You couldn't have done this hours ago when you picked me up? What was it? You had to have me one last time before dumping me?"

He said nothing, just started down at her. She couldn't believe this. He was looking at her as though she was nothing to him and she was starting to believe it. She felt stupid and hurt and used.

"I'm such an idiot," she said quietly. "To think someone like you could ever really care about someone other than themselves."

"You're right; you are an idiot. I don't want you, Lucy, deal with it."

The slamming of the car door hurt almost as much as his words. Standing in the street, she watched him drive away, unable to stop the sobs that came.

XXXXX

Curly felt like shit. He felt like the world's biggest asshole, and was pretty sure that's exactly what he was. In fact, asshole wasn't even bad enough. He wasn't sure there was a word to describe what a fucking jerk he had been.

Breaking it off with Lucy Jane had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. It had hurt more than the stitches Maria Phillips had stuck in him a few months back, it hurt more than the jumping he'd received in juvie from a couple of River Kings a few years ago, and it hurt more than any of the disappointed looks Tim had ever given him.

He ran his hand through his hair, before yanking off his T-shirt and leaning back on the couch. He deserved the shitty feeling, though. He'd been purposely nasty to her and had hated every minute of it. He'd hurt his girl so bad, and she hadn't bothered to hide it. She wasn't like greasy girls who would put on a brave face and pretend nothing bothered them. She had cried, she had shoved him, and she had cursed. Hell, she had damn near begged him not to do it.

And he had been so fucking tempted.

But Tim was his family. The gang was, in a way, his family. He'd already let them down too much and refused to turn his back on them again. At least, that's what he told himself. He knew just as well as Lucy Jane probably did - or had until he'd become outright mean to her - that what he had done was all because of Tim.

And there, coming down the stairs was the reason for the unbearable pain in his chest.

Tim was scratching his chest as he walked into the living room, and he barely glanced at Curly. Curly waited, knowing Tim would go into the kitchen, drink some juice out of the carton, and then head back upstairs. He also knew he had to tell Tim now, before he gave into himself and went back to Lucy Jane. Christ how he wanted to go back to her.

The fridge door closed and Tim came out.

"I did it," Curly said.

Tim stopped, blinked a few times, and frowned. "What?"

"I broke it off with Lucy."

Lucy _Jane_. He hadn't been able to call her by her whole name once.

Tim smirked, and Curly wanted to punch him in the goddamn mouth.

"Of course you did," he said, and left the room.

Curly didn't bother calling out a reply. There was nothing he could say.

What bothered him almost as much as what he had just done to Lucy Jane was that Tim hadn't even bothered to make him feel better about it. He wasn't expecting any kind of deep and meaningful or anything, but a few words of encouragement, words to assure Curly he'd made the right choice, sure would have been nice.

But he had made the right choice. He knew that because he wouldn't have done it if it hadn't been right. Well, maybe it wasn't right, but it was what had to be done. It would have happened eventually anyway.

There had been no way he and Lucy Jane were going last. As Tim had pointed out before, she would be heading off to college in a few months, leaving him behind. Their relationship wasn't going to change that fact. Knowing this didn't make him feel any better, though. At least if they had broken up because she was leaving town, it would have been mutual, it wouldn't have been as painful for either of them, it wouldn't have been Curly pretending he felt nothing for her.

"Shit," he muttered, digging out his smokes.

He had made his choice and he had to live with it. He had chosen the gang and his brother over his girl, and he had no one but himself to blame for the shitty feeling inside of him. Even blaming Tim was pointless; he had made his own choice, swayed by no one, and he had to stand by it.

That didn't mean it had to make him happy, because it didn't. It made him fucking miserable.

XXXXX

As she sat in her car and checked her make up in the rear-view mirror, Lucy Jane was pretty sure school was the worst idea possible.

She was late, but that wasn't a big deal. After spending the night before crying until her head ached, she hadn't been in any shape to get up and go to first period math. In fact, by the time she had convinced her mother she wasn't well and that another hour's sleep would get rid of the nasty headache, she had decided against going to school at all.

It was as she had watched the clock tick over from 8:59am to 9:00am that she decided against being a coward. She wasn't the kind of girl who let being dumped get the better of her. A hot shower, some strong coffee, and her new blue sweater had done nothing to cheer her mood, but she was sure they had all made her look better.

Unfortunately, no amount of hot water or coffee or cashmere would fix her puffy eyes, red nose, or shaking hands. Not even make up helped without making her look like Beth Travis, and that was the last thing she wanted. She might have just been dumped, but she wasn't trash.

Having reapplied her lip-gloss, she took a deep breath and climbed out of her car. As much as she would have liked to spend the day in bed, wallowing in her self pity, Lucy Jane tried to calm her thundering heart, and walked into school just as first period finished.

She was ready to face the glares she was becoming used to, ignore the comments that no longer bugged her, and try to pretend that nothing was wrong. The fact that her mind was solely set on keeping her cool helped her ignore everything else. She had to keep her cool.

Stopping at her locker, she shoved in the books she wouldn't need until later, and grabbed out the few she needed for that morning - including her Spanish notebook. She licked her lips, hands still shaking; she had history next and then Spanish, but surely Curly wouldn't even show up in Spanish after what had happened, so it hardly mattered.

"Lucy Jane." Emmy had found her, and she couldn't have been happier.

"Hey," she said, turning to her friend, face falling at the look she received. "You know."

Emmy shrugged. "Everyone knows."

"How?" Surely Curly wasn't that cruel.

"Angela Shepard took great delight in telling everyone that her brother dumped you," Emmy said softly. "I wasn't sure whether or not to believe it until you didn't turn up to math."

"Oh, God." Her eyes watered, and she turned back to her locker.

Her plan to play it cool was gone and she couldn't stay, not anymore. It wasn't that people knew what had happened, but that Angela Shepard had told them. Curly can't have cared who found out - or how they found out - if he was willing to let his little sister tell everyone.

"Lucy?"

"I can't stay here."

Emmy took her hand. "Yes, you can. Come on, Lucy Jane. Look at everything you've put up with these last few weeks - Roger, Joanna, Beth Travis. You can stay."

She swallowed. "Have you seen him?"

"I haven't."

Okay. That was good. Taking a breath, Lucy Jane pushed her hair back and nodded. If Curly wasn't at school then it would be okay. She could deal with the gossip - had become an expert at it lately - so long as she didn't have to see him.

Emmy smiled, looped their arms, and led the way to their shared history class. Taking her seat next to her best friend, Lucy Jane opened her note book and waited for the bell to ring. Of course, once class began she found herself unable to take a single note. Her stomach grew heavier with every minute that passed, bringing her that much closer to Spanish. It didn't even matter that Curly wasn't at school, what mattered was that it was Spanish - the one class she had always shared with Curly. The idea of going into that room made her sick.

But she would do it, because she could.

Thankfully, Emmy took her mind off of Spanish class for a few minutes as they made their way down the hall after history.

"I know you probably don't care," she said. "But Joanna asked me to talk to you."

Lucy Jane wrinkled her nose. "About what?"

"About coming to her party tonight, and before you ask, yes, she did say this after finding out about you and Curly."

"Of course she did," Lucy Jane said, not even a little surprised at Joanna's timing. "But why would she want me there? Even with what's happened, I still cheated on her brother."

She couldn't bring herself to say 'even now that I'm not with Curly'. Just thinking about it caused an ache in her chest and a queasy feeling in her stomach. Accepting it was hard enough - she didn't want to talk about it.

"You're still one of the few people in the school who she ever actually liked," Emmy pointed out. "Plus, it's good for her reputation, you know? Take you back after you made such a huge mistake." She paused, frown on her face. "Her words not mine."

"And I suppose it would be good for my reputation to go back, after such a huge mistake," Lucy Jane said dryly. She stopped a few feet from her Spanish class, stomach in her mouth.

"I don't wish to sound completely horrible, Lucy Jane, but if you don't have Curly, then you only have me." Emmy paused. "Wouldn't it be better to at least have a few more people on your side?"

Emmy had left Lucy Jane alone with those words. In reality, it would be better if last night had never happened, but she had to admit that Emmy made a pretty good point; she really did only have Emmy if she didn't have Curly. Which she obviously didn't. Still ignoring the looks she was receiving, she took another breath and made her way into Spanish.

As always, her eyes automatically sought out the seat Curly usually sat in, and she froze for split second when she saw him sitting there. His eyes met hers as he sat slouched forward in his seat, casually twisting the sharp end of his pencil into his desk, and all she felt coming from him was indifference.

Indifference, disinterest, nothing that even remotely resembled regret.

Forcing herself to move, she sat stiffly in her seat, not hearing the whispers around her. It was all true - everything he had said to her the night before was so obviously true, and it had taken that look for her to really believe it. Even before there had always been _something_ there - amusement, anger, lust. There had always been something, but now his eyes just looked empty.

He didn't care. He didn't want her. He didn't love her.

She felt sick - sicker than she had since he had left her the night before - and hot all over. Class was starting, but she didn't register anything that was going on. Swallowing back the saliva that was gathering in her mouth - a sure sign she was going to vomit - she stood.

"Lucy Jane?" Miss Perry asked, standing in front of the class.

"I'm not feeling well," she quickly said. "Can I please be excused?"

Her teacher nodded, ripping off a pass for her. She grabbed it with shaky hands and left the room without another word. All she could be thankful for was that she hadn't cried in front of him, and that she made it into the bathroom before throwing up last night's dinner.

_Oh, but I won't wait in silence,  
__While you're stealing my happiness away_

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**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading.


	22. I Don't Need Your Reasons

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E Hinton, or "Don't Speak" by No Doubt.

**A/N:** Rated T for sexual references.

**

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**

**CHAPTER TWENTY TWO**

_I don't need your reasons,  
__Don't tell me, 'cause it hurts_

The music was loud, the people were frustrating, and the beer tasted horrible. Lucy Jane fidgeted on her stool next to Emmy, silently cursing her friend for convincing her to go to Joanna's party. Although, she should really be cursing herself for agreeing. Considering the mess she had been in after seeing Curly, a party had seemed like a bad idea, but drinking had seemed like a good idea. She wasn't a big drinker, but all she wanted was anything to take her mind of off Curly.

She hadn't seen him since Spanish class, and was glad for it. Just the memory of the look he had given her hurt - having to go through it again wasn't something she wanted. She had, however, seen Emmy and had been convinced that maybe reconnecting with the people who were supposed to be her friends wasn't such a terrible idea. Now that she was at the party, it was, in fact, a terrible idea.

Her head hurt, her eyes hurt, and her nose hurt - all if which were more than likely from crying too much. Being at a party didn't help matters, not when all she wanted to do was go home and cry some more. She hated being such a mess, and over a boy at that.

Running a hand through her hair, she took a large drink of the beer she had been given. She was stronger than this, she was tougher than this, she was damn well better than this. If there was one thing she was good at, it was keeping her cool and not letting people get to her. There wasn't a single reason she could think of for her to be letting Curly Shepard get to her this way.

Except for the fact that he had always been able to get to her; being dumped by him didn't change that. Unfortunately, being dumped by him also didn't stop her loving him. She sure wished it had, though.

Fidgeting again, she looked up as Simon came over, asking Emmy to dance.

"Do you mind?" Emmy asked her. "I don't want to leave you alone if you need me."

She shook her head. "Of course not. Go dance."

A few minutes later, she was regretting that decision when Roger made his way over to her, two drinks in hand.

"Hey," he said, giving her a smile.

She said nothing.

He sighed. "Look, I know you're angry at me for acting like a complete jerk, and I don't blame you at all, but I wanted to apologise."

"Apologise? Whatever for?" she asked dryly.

He smiled again, and handed her a drink. Sitting himself on the stool next to her, he looked at her. "I'm serious, Lucy Jane. I never meant to hurt you with the things I said about you."

"Right," she said. "You only meant to hurt Curly when you jumped him last week." Not that she should care anymore.

He shrugged. "Well, I only did that because _I_ was hurting."

"You were?" She wasn't sure whether or not to believe him, but couldn't quite figure out why he would lie.

He gave her a strange look. "I really liked you Lucy Jane. I know I might have been a bit pushy at times, and we didn't have the best relationship, but I sure did like you. And you … well, you were fooling around with Shepard the whole time we were together."

Lucy Jane thought back to when she had broken up with Roger. The whole encounter had been awkward, especially after her disappearing act the night before, but she realised then she had only ever apologised for breaking up with him. She had never once apologised for cheating on him like she had.

Despite how nasty Roger had been, she actually felt bad. Tears pricked the backs of her eyes at how nice he was being to her.

"Anyway," he said, still smiling that handsome smile of his. "That's all I wanted to say, and that beer's for you - consider it a peace offering, okay?"

She nodded, dumbfounded. "Okay."

He jumped down from his stool, gave her hand a squeeze, and turned to go.

"Roger?"

He turned. "Yeah?"

"I'm sorry, too. Really sorry." Tears fell as she spoke, and despite everything she'd done to him, Roger slipped an arm around her and let her cry.

XXXXX

Downing one beer and reaching for another, Curly ignored Beth. She was clinging to his arm, pressing her chest against him, and he wished like fuck he was anywhere but where he was.

He still wasn't sure he had made the right decision. Well, he had made the _right_ decision, but he wasn't sure his decision was going to make him happy. In fact, he was pretty sure it was going to make him fucking _un_happy. But he had done what was right - for once, he had done _something_ right - and that was what mattered.

Even if he did hate himself for it.

He couldn't get over how horrible he had been; every word that had come from his mouth, every action he had made, and every look he had given her had been outright cruel. It was the only way he had been able to do it, though. There had been no chance of him staying away from her like he needed to if she was willing to take him back. For once, he had to do what was right.

But, now that he'd had time to think - time to let it all sink in - he wasn't sure sleeping with her before breaking up with her had been right. He also wasn't sure he would ever forgive himself for it. Her words echoed in his ears, making his wish he were deaf.

_You had to have me one last time before dumping me?_

It hadn't been that way, not entirely. He had wanted her that one last time, sure, but it wasn't like she thought it was. He had just wanted that one last time to remember - to engrave into his brain, knowing he would never have it again. It wasn't as though he had used her. At least, he didn't think it was.

Beth's lips were on his ear. "Let's go upstairs," she whispered. "I can help you forget that silly girl, you know I can."

Actually, he knew she couldn't. He shrugged her away.

"Fuck off."

She glared at him for a moment, before smiling sweetly. "You know where to find me if your change your mind."

He ignored her and took a long drink of his beer. He could still remember the way Lucy Jane had looked at him in Spanish that day. She'd looked shocked and hurt and betrayed, and he'd hated himself even more. But, it had been her leaving class not a minute later that had made him realise just how badly he'd messed with her. She couldn't even stand to be in the same room with him - not out of anger or hate, but because she was hurting.

"Hey, man," Pony said, sitting next to him.

Curly grunted in reply.

"Sorry to hear about you and Lucy Jane," he said.

"Don't be," Curly muttered.

"What happened?"

Curly took another drink before answering honestly - something he hadn't even done with George. "Tim made me choose."

"He made you choose?" Pony sounded so shocked that Curly almost laughed.

"Yeah."

"Shit, man." Pony ran a hand through his hair. "That ain't right."

Curly froze. There weren't a lot of people other than Tim who he looked up to, and in most cases Pony wasn't one of them. But when it came to anything related to school, girls, and what was right and what was wrong, Pony had his head screwed on. And hearing those words come out of Ponyboy's mouth was like a fucking light bulb going off in his head, and Tim's look of disappointment back in October flashed brightly in front of him.

He looked at Pony. "It ain't, is it?"

"Na. I mean, you care about this girl, right?"

It was a reasonably awkward conversation, but Curly nodded anyway, possibly a little drunk. "Fuckin' love her."

"Then it don't seem right to me," Pony said. "Neither Tim makin' you choose, or you not choosin' her."

Curly wholeheartedly agreed.

XXXXX

He watched Lucy Jane climb out of the car and hated how, even from a few houses away, she looked so sad. And still a little sick. He had a feeling she hadn't been making excuses in Spanish that day; she really had looked sick, and he hated being the cause of it.

The car pulled away and Lucy Jane made her way toward her house. Car already running, Curly sped towards her, and pulled up outside her house. She had made her way half way up the front yard by the time he got there, but she turned to face him as he climbed out.

She looked pale and tired and he mentally kicked himself for doing that to her. Christ, he was such a fuck-up.

"What do you want?" she asked.

He came around the front of the car to stand closer to her. "I want you," he began, knowing what he needed to say. "I fucked up, Luce. I shouldn't have broken up with you and I didn't mean a single word of what I said."

"Curly -"

"I don't want more than one girl," he continued, needing to get his words out before she told him to leave. "I want you. Screw Tim and what he thinks, I want you."

He had said it, but going against Tim and what he thought would be a lot harder than he could even think about. He'd fucking do it, though, if Lucy Jane would just take him back

"Curly …" She trailed off, and looked away before shaking her head softly. "You're too late."

"I'm not," he insisted. "I know I messed up with what I said to you, and I know I hurt you, but I love you, Lucy Jane. I fucking love you and I know we -"

"No," she interrupted forcefully. "You're too late."

He looked at her, and her words sunk in. He wasn't a smart guy, but he sure wasn't stupid; she could barely meet his gaze.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you left me," she said, tears spilling from her eyes. "You left me, and told me I could go and sleep with Roger for all you cared. So I did."

His heart stopped. He knew it was impossible, but he stopped breathing for a moment and his heart ached as though it had stopped - as though blood had stopped pumping through his body. He stared at Lucy Jane, barely seeing her.

"You were _so_ mean," she said. He was surprised he could hear her over his now pounding heart. "You didn't care, you didn't want me, you _left_ me! And Roger was nice."

He said nothing, just stared at her. She stared right back at him, and he knew the hurt he felt was showing on his face.

"You're too late," she said again.

Curly took a shuddering breath and relaxed his aching hands. Without even realising it, he'd clenched them at his sides so tightly that it was painful. Neither of them spoke a word as they stared at each other. He didn't know what was going through her mind, but he was very quickly getting over the shock, pushing back the hurt, and letting the anger take over.

"Fuck!" he yelled, turning away.

How could she do this? How could she fucking do this? He glanced back at her to see her calmly watching him, and it just infuriated him even more. Sure, they had been broken up at the time, but they were always fighting then making up. They had even broken up before, and gotten back together.

Not this time. Fucking bitch.

"Fuck!" he swore again, slamming a fist on the body of his car. He did it again and again with each curse that flew from his lips.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, _fuck!_" He continued swearing, kicking and punching his car, not caring a damn about anything - the neighbours, his hands, Lucy fucking Jane. All he could see was her and him … _together_. It was bullshit.

He didn't stop until he could feel wetness from blood on his knuckles. Taking a few breaths he turned to find Lucy Jane was still standing there watching him - looking too fucking beautiful for his liking with her messy hair, wet eyes, and splotchy cheeks.

Not even sure what he was doing, he ignored her, and climbed into his car. He didn't know where to go, but without thinking found himself back at the party he'd left. Turning his car off, he sighed. Head pounding as it lay resting against the back of his seat, and bloody hands shaking in his lap, Curly closed his eyes and tried to work through everything that had happened.

He'd been fucked over by his girl and his brother. Fucked over by the two people who were never supposed to fuck him over like this. Two people who had never spoken a word to each other, but had still managed to mess with him as though they had been planning it for weeks. They hadn't, of course, but that was hardly the point.

He winced as he looked down at his bloodied knuckles. They were red and raw looking, the gashes marring his pale skin in a way that almost wanted to make him vomit. And they stung; they stung like he couldn't believe. Slowly stretching out his fingers and grimacing at the pain, he made a mental note to take his anger out on flesh next time, rather than the hard metal of his car.

_Next time_, he though to himself, _I won't be so fucking stupid_.

He thought back over the last two months; the fights, the sneaking around, the heated looks across the parking lot … He groaned softly, the sex.

As soon as the thought of sex entered his mind, he felt bile rise in his throat and truly wondered for a moment if he was going to be sick. He couldn't stop thinking about it, no matter how close to throwing up in his own car it made him. He hated it, he hated them. The thought of what had happened and why … it made him crazy.

He could feel the anger burning back up inside of him again and did his best to calm it. He'd heard the saying 'it makes my blood boil' before, and he was beginning to understand exactly where it had came from. As much as he had managed to calm himself down on his drive there with cool air coming through the window, and smoke from his lit cigarette going through his lungs, the shaking in his hands wasn't just from the pain of repeatedly punching his car.

Closing his eyes again, he sighed. No, it wasn't just from taking things out on his car, nor was it just from his anger; he was hurting and it was showing in the small tremors that ran through his body.

He hated her.

He wanted to hurt her.

He sighed; he fucking loved her.

More than anything, he wanted her to know the kind of pain he was feeling; a pain he had never imagined possible, a pain he had never imagined he would ever feel.

"Bitch," he muttered as he slouched lower in his seat.

There was nothing he could do about it and it was getting to him. He felt as thought he had never been so out of control of something in his life. There were other things, moments in his life that had been bad that he hadn't been able to do a thing about; his dad leaving when he was a kid, getting chucked into the reformatory more times than he could count, and Angel marrying Bobby Miller.

But never anything that made him feel like shit the way this did. Even his dad leaving had probably been a blessing in disguise. There had never been anything that had made him feel as useless as this did. This was out of his control completely. She had made her choice, just like Tim, and their choices had resulted in Curly being screwed over.

He could get some kind of revenge, he supposed, if he really wanted to.

But did he want to? Did he even want to try? On either of them? He wanted both Lucy Jane and Tim to know what it felt like to trust someone and have them betray you, and he wanted them to both know how it felt to be screwed over the way he had been. But could he, _would _he, do anything?

No, he wouldn't.

On Tim, because he couldn't. He wanted to, he wanted to so bad he could taste it, but he couldn't because Tim would always have this over him; always know that he had messed with Curly and that Curly had hardly put up any kind of fight. There wasn't a fucking thing he could do about it, no matter how hard he tried. And even if he did try, it wouldn't happen; he would be found out before any real thought went into anything. Especially now, now that he was probably being watched more closely than he had ever been before.

And he wouldn't with Lucy Jane either. With her he didn't really know why. Maybe because he partly blamed himself for her part in screwing him over. She had only done exactly what he had gone and told her to do. That didn't mean he had actually wanted her to do it, but he had given her every chance and reason to do so. He had, in a very small way, made it happen.

That was only part of it though. He hated to admit it, especially now, but he wouldn't do anything about it because he really _didn't_ want her to feel what he was feeling. On the surface, he did, because she was a cold-hearted bitch and she deserved it after what she had done. But deep down, where it really mattered, he never, _ever_ wanted her to be feeling the way he was at that moment.

The thought of her hurting, hurt him almost as much as he already was. He hated himself for still caring - for telling her he loved her.

A knock came at the passenger window, pulling him out of his thoughts. Turning his head, he saw Beth. Sighing, he reached over and rolled down the window, fighting a grimace at the pain in his hands.

"Hey," he said.

She smiled and raised an eyebrow. "You change your mind yet?"

Well now there was a question for the text books. He knew if Lucy Jane were to find out about this, it would hurt her, and he supposed this could be called revenge which was what he'd just decided against …

But he needed the distraction, and he had no obligation to anyone right then. Fuck her.

Nodding, he reached over and unlocked the passenger door. "Hop in."

Beth gave him what some would call a seductive smile and slid in next to him. A minute later her head was in his lap, her dishwater-blonde curls falling freely over his thighs and all Curly could think about was the straight black hair that smelt like flowers.

_It's all ending  
__I gotta stop pretending who we are_

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to RileysMomma for beta-reading. Please don't hate on Lucy Jane too much :)


	23. The End

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _The Outsiders_ by S.E. Hinton, or "The End" by The Doors.

_"This fic/chapter is being post as part of "Good Fic Day," an effort to raise the quality of writing here. We hope to encourage more writers to improve the quality of their own fan fiction - spell check, grammar check, keep the gang in character, outline, plot and don't use Mary Sue's. Good fan fiction requires effort, and we would like to encourage other writers to rise to the challenge of producing better fan fiction, not only for our readers, but for S.E. Hinton, who created the wonderful book we are trying to honour."_

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

_It hurts to set you free,  
__But you'll never follow me_

Curly Shepard was officially a high school graduate. He couldn't say it without sounding like a tool, but he was kind of proud of himself. He wasn't book-smart like Curtis, but he'd done okay. Those robes they'd all had to wear were stupid, but he hadn't complained. Robes meant graduation, and graduation meant graduation party.

Tim had rolled his eyes at Curly and George's excitement for the party they were now at. Curly didn't care, though. Tim had also told Curly how proud he was, but he hadn't given two shits about that, either. Well, maybe he'd been a little pleased, but not as much as he would've been six months ago.

Not much Tim said to him these days mattered like it used to.

"You think she'll ever realise someone other than that shithead exists?"

Curly raised an eyebrow and followed George's line of vision. It wasn't hard; George's gaze was set only a foot from where Curly's had been. He couldn't help it; his eyes automatically went in that direction. Fidgeting from one foot to the other, he shrugged.

"Dunno, man."

"You think she's knows her boyfriend's an asshole?"

"She will if you tell her."

George shook his head. "Can't do that, it'd hurt her."

Curly frowned. "You're worried about bein' the one to hurt her? You don't even know her."

"Not yet, but I will."

"Not while she's with Simon."

Emmy Banks chose that moment to glance their way. Unfortunately for George, it was Curly she looked at.

"You could talk to her for me," George said.

"She hates me; they all do."

"Not all of them."

Curly's eyes narrowed. "Yeah? Well, I hate all of them."

George muttered something that sounded an awful lot like _bullshit_. Curly ignored him and moved his gaze to Emmy's right.

He didn't hate Lucy Jane, not really. He wanted to, and he had tried for so long - even convincing himself that he'd managed. It had turned out to be complete bullshit - just like George said - when he found her crying in the library the week before finals. Fuck, but it killed him to see her cry.

When he had asked her what was wrong, he hadn't expected her to tell him to get lost, all the while wiping at her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Leave me alone. I don't need anymore of your malice, thank you very much." It was the first he'd spoken to her since the night outside her house, and her eyes had been red and sore looking when she glared at him. "I know I ruined everything, but I really don't need you adding to my problems right now."

He hadn't added to her problems, but he hadn't left either. Leaving wasn't an option when she looked so sad. He'd done it once; he refused to do it again.

"I ain't goin'," he said. "Tell me what's wrong?"

She had burst into tears again. Fighting everything inside of him, he clenched his hands, not letting himself reach for her. It didn't make any difference; she was picking up her books and leaving anyway.

He'd thought it was just the stress of finals that upset her, but a small part of him knew it wasn't just that. He was quite cruel to her at times - pretending she didn't exist, flirting with other girls in front of her, even talking that little bit louder when she walked into their Spanish classroom and he was telling Jack about some girl he'd scored with over the weekend. He knew it upset her every time it happened, but he did it anyway.

"Maybe I'll ask her to dance." George was talking again.

"Who? Emmy?"

George smirked. "No. Lucy Jane."

"Maybe I should ask her to dance," Curly wondered aloud.

"Who? Emmy?"

"No, you shit, Lucy Jane."

"Do it," George encouraged. "You know she'll say yes."

Whether she said yes or not wasn't something he was going to worry about aloud with George. The guy might have been his best buddy, but they didn't talk about girls like that. Since Lucy Jane, they hadn't talked about girls a whole lot.

At least George had never been pissed at him for keeping her a secret. Curly was pretty sure that was because he was hoping to have a similar secret with Emmy Banks. George was positive he wasn't going to get that secret anytime soon - a thought made solid by Emmy's obvious infatuation with her boyfriend. It was just unfortunate for Emmy that Curly and George had overheard her boyfriend talking all kinds of crap about her over Easter weekend.

The song on the record had him looking at Lucy Jane again. She loved the Doors. He didn't get the appeal, and wasn't sure if it was a sign for him to ask her to dance or not. He recognised the song, and when the lyrics began, he thought it was strangely fitting … in a fucked up and kind of bitter way.

"Here." He pushed his beer toward George who, took it with a grin.

Making his way to Lucy Jane, he looked around the house. The graduation party was in full swing, with people splashing in the large swimming pool, other people chatting drunkenly, and couples pressed together in the living room turned dance floor. Lucy Jane was sitting in the den with her friends, and from where he had been standing against the hallway wall, it only took Curly a few moments to reach her.

Emmy squeaked as he reached them, and he smirked. His breath caught when Lucy Jane turned to look at him, breathing his name.

"Come dance." He held out his hand, daring her to take it.

Her gaze moved wildly from him to the living room, before she stood up. Her friends - the same ones who had deserted her when finding out she had been dating him - spoke up, but she ignored them, sliding her hand into Curly's.

He tried to ignore how good her small hand felt as he led her to the dance floor, but he couldn't deny she looked good. She always looked good in blue, and his mouth watered at how much skin her dress was showing. He sure liked those ones that tied at the neck.

"This is the Doors." She was looking at him as though she couldn't believe what was happening, and he found it interesting that that was what she decided to say.

"It is," he murmured, pulling her as close as he dared.

"You hate the Doors." Her head was tilted back so she could look at him, and he pushed back the urge to nibble on the skin she was showing.

He smirked. "You like them."

"I do … Though this isn't a very good song for slow dancing. It's not very romantic."

He looked at her for a long moment before answering. "Who said anything about romance?"

"Well … I suppose you're right."

He tightened his hold, sure she was going to leave. She didn't. If anything, she tightened her arms around his neck, and pressed herself as close to him as she possibly could. It felt good. It felt perfect. It felt _right_.

Sighing, he lowered his head, nuzzling his face into her hair. She smelled just as amazing as he remembered.

"You really goin' away for the summer?" he asked, mouth close to her ear.

She shivered. "Yes, two months in Europe."

"Sound fun."

She shrugged. "It probably will be."

"Be sure to send me a postcard," he said, dripping sarcasm.

"I will."

And he knew she really would. Just like he knew he'd keep every fucking one of them. His nose tickled the soft bit of skin beneath her ear. Glory she smelled good.

"What about college?" he asked.

He hated not knowing anything. He overheard girls talking about other girls all the time, but hadn't heard as much about Lucy Jane as he would've liked.

"I got accepted to a few places," she said, voice low. "But I've decided to go to New York."

His fingers flirted with the hem of her dress. "New York suits you."

"You think?"

He wanted to say no - to tell her to stay with him. "Yeah, I do."

They were silent as they danced, and Curly didn't stop the tips of his fingers from touching the skin of her back. They tingled - just the barest of touches on the very tips of his fingers, but she still made them tingle.

She sighed, and the warm breath from her mouth went all over him. "Just so you know, I'll never be sorry."

His whole body tightened, but he played dumb. "About what?"

"Anything. Everything." She pulled back to look at him, frowning. "Except the end."

He looked away, remembering her telling him she had slept with McKenna. Surprisingly enough, what had happened after that was something he had never found out. All he knew was that they didn't get back together, despite sleeping together, and that McKenna was dating some broad named Maggie now. He hated himself for it, but he had to know.

"What happened with McKenna?"

She tensed. "What do you mean?"

"After everything." He tried to sound casual, but it wasn't happening. "You never got back together with him."

"Of course I didn't." She paused, as if expecting him to ask why not, but knowing he wouldn't. "He wasn't being nice, he was …" She shook her head. "It was a mistake. I made a mistake."

"Oh."

Her words went straight to his heart, and he wanted to kiss her. His whole body ached for just one last taste of her lips, but he knew that would be a mistake. One taste and he would be right back where he was in December. He needed to get over this girl. It had been months, she was leaving for the summer and then college - he needed to be done with her.

But fuck, he knew she wouldn't stop him. Her arms tightened and she pressed herself closer again, as though silently telling him to do it. Just one kiss …

"When do you leave?" he choked out, not missing the disappointment in her eyes.

"Sunday."

"For two months?"

She nodded. "Then I leave for New York not long after."

He could see the expectance in her eyes, and pulled her close, tightening his arms around her waist and breathing in her scent. He missed this girl more than he liked to admit, but she was leaving and they were done. They had been done for months now, and their relationship had been a fucking mess; it was time he got over it. It was time he got over her.

But, of their own accord, his lips pressed themselves to the skin of her neck in a barely there kiss. She shuddered against him, squeezing her arms around his neck and letting out another breathy sigh. Hating the ache in his chest, he pulled back, disentangling her arms from him as the song ended and his lips tingled.

Lucy Jane looked ready to cry as he let go of her arms, but he was glad when no tears came; he wouldn't be able to help himself if she cried in front of him. Instead, she licked her lips, took a deep breath, and attempted to smile at him.

His next words were out of his mouth before he had thought them through, but he at least had the dignity to not make them a question.

"So, maybe I'll see you next summer."

She smiled then. "Maybe you will."

Lifting itchy fingers, he ran his hand over her soft hair. "See ya 'round, Lucy Jane."

_This in the end,  
__Beautiful friend_

**The End**

* * *

**A/N:** Thanks to Rileys Momma for beta-reading, and to Erin for being _that_ voice in my head. You know what I'm talkin' about ;)

Epilogue, plus chapter titled "The End", literally means the end. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed - it always makes my day to read what you all think. I've appreciated every single review I've received, and love that you've all enjoyed this. It was always my intention to write a realistic Soc/greaser romance, and I hope that's what I've done. Again, thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing. It means a lot.


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